The Enigma

Shad0r

Its been ages since I wrote any poetry, actually ages since I wrote anything at all tbh (oh how I love debt induced 50 hour work weeks...) but anyway I had an experience the other day that sparked thoughts that in turn led to the drivel below. After re-reading it I feel I've made all the points I wanted to make and said all I wanted to say but I'd be interested to find out if it translates.

So if you know what its about, pray tell...


Enigma

Pools of blue without depth
Hiding a soul and identity
Around which I feel not inept
Though I know not if you’ll come to me.

Just a breath in life’s lengthy term
Moment gone as soon as it began
From just a glimpse much did I learn
Of the quality of man I am

Skin as smooth as summer breeze
Senses delighting in sight and smell
All around you everyone sees
The beauty that conceals you well

That split second I will ne’er forget
A connection made, shared and lost
Our eyes together were well met
Mystery being the only cost

MojoMaker

This is excellent.

el_tiddlero

catchin someone's eye on the DART?? or maybe lookin in the mirror...
i suppose it all depends on who owns the pools of blue without depth.. or perhaps you were just lookin at a few patches of sky through these endless clouds we've been having... i like the sense of elation this has, its like looking out the window in the morning and smiling for no reason, some days are just better than others... i also like the way it illustrates how sometimes even the tiniest events, split second encounters can feel so influential... it takes a lifetime to live, but only a split second to die...
anywho i don;t even know if i'm close but tis good stuff.. fairplay!!

Hardy

I like this.

When I first read it, I thought about death for a moment - Pools of blue without depth, but then upon further reading, I discarded that.

Chance meeting was my second thought but then again, I thought it was something from nature that caught your attention.

I guess that I'm reading the same as el_tiddlero did. But its a lovely warm piece. If you haven't written in a while, I'd definitely recommend that you keep it up after reading that piece.

More, more!

shiv

welcome back shad0r

Shad0r

The poem came so fluidly and easily I threw the idea at a piece of dialogue I was writing for something else...Here's an extract - a monologue by one of the characters, that will explain what its about better than me telling you what actually happened

(p.s. if it's a bit rough I apologise! Its first draft and strictly for the purposes of illustration)

“Have you ever met somebody – maybe just for a moment: in a queue for something, on a train or over the counter at your local coffee shop – and in that fraction of existence your eyes meet and you both smile, and its not a “oh look there’s another person wasting a vast chunk of their life in this static line of humanity…She’s smiling at me, I better smile back!” sort of encounter. There’s an openness about it that you cant help, you have no control over what she is seeing as she peers into the depths of your eyes, your guard is down. This completely unexpected exchange of information about each other’s souls is disarming.
“But it’s okay. Her guard is down too, and all you can see is warmth and the edges of her hidden depths. And you smile because…well, you like what you see and as the connection with this person is realised the moment begins to stretch and time fades away. Everything fades away really, until all that’s left is the creased sensation of smiling on your face and the invisible link running between your souls through each other’s eyes. Nothing is being said, but at the same time everything is being said…and then…BOOM…reality and time come rushing back as though the universe, realising the glitch in the timeline, corrected itself. And then its gone, the world is once more all around you and most probably some git is behind you, stuttering or mumbling at you to move on and stop creating a gap in the queue. And even though by rights you should want to smack this turd in the gob, the after effects of the shared connection have left you above getting pissed off by his petty idiocy…”

shiv

clever tactics, making people think, I like it!
I hope you won't be offended if I say I enjoyed the rambling monologue more than the poem itself. To me it just had more immediacy and warmth. I loved the lines about creasing and glitches in the timeline especially. I'd like to see more of your prose. Keep up the hooks