Nigerian scamming extortionists still at it...

Guru Maith Agut

Scamming Nigerians are what todays email box are full of so I thought I'd have some fun with him first, like someone did here not so long ago. Attached are the 2 emails I recieved from him and at the bottom is the second one I sent him (didn't keep a copy of the first one I'm afraid, but it didn't say much, only to agree with him and tell him I would help).
They just annoy the head o' me so give them something to read.

Guru.

Sorry. Is it there now?

kikel

And the emails?
I remember one involving an iBook. Have tried searching for it but can't find it. any1 remember?

radiospan

http://www.419eater.com/

Guru Maith Agut

plazzTT wrote:

http://www.419eater.com/

Yeah thats where I saw the original link plazz. Cheers.

thesteve

Hilarious, the names in capitals cracked me up... This the ibook one you were talking about, it's a good bit of reading but hilarious...

edit: won't let me upload the file, too large at 600kb, shame

billy the squid

are the people who fall for these scams any less corrupt. I mean. the only reason they become victims is that they are trying to acquire money that they legally are not entitled to.

Guru Maith Agut

Round 2! ding ding
Recieved a fresh reply from him this morning so off to work I went.
I can't upload the file I sent him as its too big but basically its a INCOME TAX PAYE form that I created in Corel.

quarryman

plazzTT wrote:

http://www.419eater.com/

does anyone know how the story with the anus laptops ended? i lost touch and can't seem to find it again.

it was linked through boards and was slashdotted too.

Guru Maith Agut

Installment number 3. Needless to say I didn't actually give him the number... yet!

---

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>Attn: William Murray,

>How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>I received your mail and all have well been noted ok by me, please my dear brother I advise you have me furnished with you confidential telephone number so that I can have you called and be able to clarify you more as regards to the way forward towards the actualization of this transaction.
>I await your urgent response

>Best regards,

>Christian Anderson esq.

---

Attention Christy.

Here is a private number that you will get me on. It is away from FLORENCE and my dog RUBY will not hear it ringing and so will not bark when it rings. What time do you think you will be having somebody phone me at because I go to bed very early after I have LISTENED to Eastenders and Coronation Street on the radio and have put my Preparation H ointment on my nether regions. I do suffer awfully from Piles... Did I tell you the story of how my doctor thinks I got them?
Oh never mind. Maybe we will meet some day soon and I can tell you in person. Maybe in the Carribean when we both go on holidays after our secret transaction wink wink, nudge nudge.
How will you spend your money when you get it brother Christy? I will buy lots of things that will make me happy and maybe I will then get a passport and go on a short holiday. My son Dimitri has been in training for the local constabulary but I have not told him of our secret as he would be angry with me for taking money that does not belong to me but I am not a bad person for wanting this am I...??? I am just like you, a really nice guy who wants so badly to help other people as well as himself. I'm sure I will give alot of the money to charity to the ORDER of THE HOLY CHURCH of ST. INCONTENENTIA PRECIPITATUM in BALLYMAGASH, my home town.

Ring me back soon Brother Christy. I await your phone call.

All my blessings
An bhuil cad agum dul amach
Pog ma thon

Billy

Guru Maith Agut

Round 3. Giving him my newly acquired mobile number. For obvious reasons I won't post it here.

---

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>
>Attn: William Murray,
>
>How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>
I received your mail and I will like to let you know that you have not still issued me your telephone number so that I will have you called, as you can see my dear brother we really need to give this deal urgent attention so that we will not have any thing that will hinder us from having this goal actualized, so I advise you respond ASAP to this mail and have me furnished with your confidential telephone number so that I will have you called immediately and be able to have you clarified more oral as regards to the way forward towards the conclusion of this transaction.
I await your urgent update.
>
>Best regards,
>
Christian Anderson esq.

---

Christy,

Oh I'm so silly, I forgot to put the telephone number in my last email to you. Here it is now so and will it be yourself that will be phoning me Christy? I don't know that I would trust somebody else to speak to me about this matter. I insist that you tell me who will be speaking to me before they make the phone call to me as I will not answer it if I do not recognise the telephone number. Please tell me now what telephone number you will be phoning from and at what time by my clock (Irish Time).

The number, including the national codes is : 00353 85 xxxxxxx

Blessings of the Holy Rack of Lamb be upon you my Brother

Bill

greglo23

have a look here http://j-walk.com/other/conf/

Guru Maith Agut

greglo23 wrote:

have a look here http://j-walk.com/other/conf/

Thats classic!!! ROFL. So there is a head guy who is actually scamming the scammers of his own coutry and teaching them the ways of the "DARK" side hehehehe.

And ooh yummy... Their breakfast sounds scrumptious!

Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.

Guru Maith Agut

And as for this other link on that same site, the mind boggles:

Privacy Policy
We at Spam University respect your privacy. Yeah, right. We respect it about as far as we can throw it.

We collect as much personal information as we possibly can. We use cookies, brownies, Twinkies, infrared sensing and hidden cameras. Whatever it takes to find out about you and your pathetic Web surfing habits. Oh yeah, and several different spyware programs have been installed on your system.

By viewing this page, you agree that we can do whatever we damn well please with your personal information. Sell it. Give it away. Trade it for cheap beer. Auction it on eBay. Give it to our "partners." Whatever. You also agree that we can kill you, if the need arises, and sell your body parts on the black market. And we can use your car anytime we want.

This privacy policy may change at any moment, so you should probably check back about once per hour.

This is a legally-binding agreement. If you don't like it, hire an attorney (starting rates = $175 per hour). Ha-ha.

Ciaran500

The laptop story: http://www.p-p-p-powerbook.com/

Spacedog

Guru Maith Agut, ROFL good going man, that's the funnyest thing I've read in ages! keep us updated!

Guru Maith Agut

Spacedog wrote:

Guru Maith Agut, ROFL good going man, that's the funnyest thing I've read in ages! keep us updated!

Don't worry I will keep this going for as long as I can.
I got some good tips of that 419eater website but I have a few of my own tricks up my sleeve hehehe

Zoned

Good man Guru....keep up the good work.... there are a lot of Scammers out there.

Here is a pic an irish guy got off a scammer....

http://www.scamorama.com/images/opaddy-lad-sign.jpg

the whole story is here

http://www.scamorama.com/gaelic.html

Guru Maith Agut

Turned out that the Sim card I got, the number had been in use by someone else (typical bloody Meteor) and I can not use the number so I had to come up with an elaborate excuse about the phone company ripping up cables on the road. It worked! But then that doesn't surprise me cos he's thick!

---

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>
Attn: William Murray,
>
How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>
I received your mail and all have well been noted ok by me, please be informed that I am happy to hear from you and to let you know that I am still waiting to have your telephone number so that I can call you and have you clarified more orally as regards to the way forward towards the conclusion of this transaction as I have earlier told you.
Furthermore for the issue of you knowing the person who is to be calling you, I will like you to know that I personally will have you called and for you to be able to identify the number that I will be calling you from, advise you take record of my direct telephone number: 234-803-348-xxxx, and in case the number did not appear the way it is, just note that is a network problem, but to have you informed that I will make mention of my name immediately I am online with you.
>
Till then keep fit and remain blessed.
>
Best regards,
>
Christian Anderson esq.

---

Thank you and blessings on you Christian.

That is wonderful news. I have been on to the phone company RINGADING ion BALLYMAGASH all day and they are very sorry that they have left me without the use of my phone for a short period of time. They know that I am blind and that I especially need the use of these important equipment to conduct my life to the fullest I can. Please be advised that I will have my number working again on Monday sometime. As soon as I have been reconnected I will forward an email to you stating that I am ready to be called.
I am satisfied that the number you have given me is legitimate and that it may not show up on my phone due to network problems. That is no problem my friend.
I look forward to hearing from you then. For now I think I will see to FLORENCE (my lamp lady) because she has no husband or boyfriend if you know what I mean and she gets very lonely so she will be staying with me tonight which is lovely. She is a very nice woman and although I cannot see her I am able to feel all her FEATURES and she feels mine so I don't feel different to her in the way we communicate with her.
Oh she is calling me. I must go and be with her. Talk to you on Monday my great friend.

Bless you and its a goodnight from me and its a goodnight from her.

Will

JackKelly

Guru Maith Agut wrote:

All my blessings
An bhuil cad agum dul amach
Pog ma thon

LMAO. Thats classic. Good work. It will be intresting to see how this goes.

Spacedog

ROFL, nice touch having an affair with the housekeeper! this is too funny.

mp3guy

Guru Maith Agut wrote:

Blessings of the Holy Rack of Lamb be upon you my Brother

lmao...

vgar

This is classic! Can't wait to find out what happens next! :-)

Guru Maith Agut

And tomorrow I will give him my newly aquired (but un registered) 085 mobile number and let the games continue.

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>Attn: WILLIAM MURRAY,

>How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>I received your mail and all have well been noted ok by me, I will like to let you know that I am very happy to hear from you and to see that you are yet to have me updated with your telephone number, so that I will have you called for more oral clarification, I advise you make sure that you will send to me the number immediately you have been able to obtain it from you telephone company so that we can be able to talk over this matter and forge ahead so that this fund will be transferred immediately into your account by the bank without any further delay.
>I await your urgent update
>Best regards,
>
Christian Anderson esq.

---

Dearest Christy,

I had a man today! From the phone company RINGADING to my house to fix the phone line and he (GERRY ADAMS) has assured me that it will be fixed tomorrow (TUESDAY) by lunchtime. He will not have to change my number after all which is great because MIKE HUNT, one of my bestest friends and all my close friends have that number and if I was to have it changed then it would upset so many people. My other blind friends JOHN, RINGO and PAUL all call me for hours at a time and we sit and discuss the old days and how PAT KENNY from down the road used to get in trouble for throwing stones at the LUAS (thats a train that goes on the streets in our town BALLYMAGASH years ago). It is so good to remember the good old days with close friends. I hope you and me can be friends too after all our transactions have been completed.
Speaking of which, can you send me a photograph of yourself that I can get FLORENCE (my houskeeper and bossom buddy) to stick up beside my bed so that when we do this deal and I can go to AUSTRIA and get an operation to fix my terrible eyesight, I will have your happy photo of your smiling face to remind of the great deed we did together. Please please please do this for me brother and I will get FLORENCE to send one to you of me with my clothes on and smiling.
I will expect your photograph in my next email I recieve and then I will send you my number by return and you can phone me and we can further our negotiations post haste.

All my blessings from my HOLY CHURCH of AMADAN AR NOS NA GAOITHE

Willie

Guru Maith Agut

Round 4. He's getting a bit vexed now. Oh yeah!

---

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>
> Attn: William Murray,
>
>How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>
I received your mail and all have well been noted ok by me, please do bear in mind that I am no longer comfortable with your way of response and your attitude to this transaction , I will like to let you know that I have already send to you a copy of my international passport and my call to bar certificate which proves to you the person that I am and you are still demanding for my picture.
>
Please do note that the information which I have already issued to you is enough for you to build trust with me in this business relationship. I advise you have your number issued to me immediately if you know that you serious to proceed with me regarding to the actualization of this transaction, as I have started having funny feelings in me that you are playing games with me. As regards to this I advise you proceed immediately and have me updated with the information which I am requesting from you so that I will be able to know exactly where I am as you can see that time is no longer our friend.
>
>I await your urgent response
>
>Best regards,
>
Christian Anderson esq.
______________________________________________________________
Christian,

I am most unhappy at your accusations to this email! I am not going to want to have anything more to do with you if you treat me like that again! I wonder if you really are a BARRISTER as you say you are because I have had dealings with LAWYERS in my past and never have I known them to be so RUDE and ABRUPT as you are now being to me.
You did at NO STAGE tender me with a PASSPORT of YOURSELF as I have got FLORENCE to check through and read me over again all your emails. I am very annoyed and you will have to do some serious apologising to have me give you the details you now want. I am very upset by your attack and I can do without this now as I have just returned from the hospital after another operation on my bad leg. You have a terrible way with words and I don't know if I want to do business with a man that doesn't have the time of day for a nice person like myself. FLORENCE thinks I should have nothing more to do with you... But I am too nice for my own good sometimes and I am prepared to give you one more chance if you apologise perfusely.

Very hurt.

William

1 User Name

classic!!

Guru Maith Agut

He replied to that last one quickly. God love him, he must be anxious to get his hands on some money...

---

>>From the desk of barrister Christian Anderson
>
>
>
>Attn: William Murray,
>
>
>
>How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your family.
>
>
>
>I received your mail and will like to let you know that I own you no apology, than to let you know that I will need you to have me updated immediately if you are still willing to proceed with me on the actualization of this deal, so that I will know where I am and if you are no longer interest I advised to also have me updated so that I will look for some one else that will assist me as you can be able to see for your self that time is no longer on my end.
>
>I await your urgent update
>
>Best regards,
>
>Christian Anderson esq.

---

Christian,

Very well. I will give you my number now but you do "OWE" (not "OWN") me an apology for speaking to me in that tone of voice. It was very hurtful to have somebody say lies about me when I am handicapped with no SIGHT.

Phone me tomorrow after 10:00 a.m. (GMT) and I will speak to you and see what we must do next. I repeat however, that you have given me no personal information about yourself at all with regard to me checking if you are who you say you are so in return for this phone number I WILL EXPECT some form of legal document from you to prove who you are or this transaction will go no further! BE WELL NOTED TO THIS!!!
I have money that you will possibly need as form of collateral but I will not put up this money unless you prove to me BEYOND REASONABLE DOUBT that you are what/who you say you are.

Telephone: (when I get your I.D.)

SEND YOUR CRIDENTIALS BEFORE YOU PHONE ME!

BLESSINGS OF JESUS TBH FFS on you brother.

William

Kernel

hehe.. this is pretty funny. Get him to send you a photo of himself holding a sign that says "Ib low Goats" or something.

condra

that is fcuked up funny- good work.

god damn crapforks

Guru Maith Agut

I might have come on a bit too heavy in that last one cos no email from him today so far but I guess its still early in his Mud Hut and his Barrister job keeps him busy for the day. I hope he takes the carrot cos I'd get bored otherwise

Pal

very funny.

this one is just brilliant

the Church of The Red Breast

i cracked up laughing

http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

Guru Maith Agut

It may have been the "John, Paul and Ringo" bit that had him suss me.. I see that 876 people have read my post hmmm How about all of you that have annonymous email addresses send him an email just to piss him off cos I 'm pretty sure he will read all of them being the SCAMMER he is and send all sorts of sh1t to him, the uglier the better and maybe he will not be so trusting in the future.
That'd be great if we all did that. Even if there were some begging letters in there it would keep him busy for hours..

btw this is the last email I sent him just this morning:

http://www.joewein.de/sw/419-bl-b.htm
Ring a bell "HANS" CHRISTIAN ANDERSON???
LAWYER MY ARSE!!!!
The only time you will ever be in a Courthouse is when your going down for FRAUD my LITTLE FURRY FRIEND!
C.I.A and INTERPOL are hot on your heels so get your arse in gear!!

p.s.
FLORENCE "NIGHTINGALE" says "hi".

Bill

Original post below:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=243189&page=1&pp=20

seamus

Merged....no need for a new thread

Guru Maith Agut

seamus wrote:

Merged....no need for a new thread

Oh okay sorry Seamus. I just thought that people who had read it already wouldn't go back to it and hence miss the last bit. Apologies.

Spacedog

LOL, legend tale man, funnyest thread in ages

condra

guru fcuking great idea. im gona get those suckas.

Guru Maith Agut

Just got one through from another one. Lets see how this goes.

Mark Anthony,

I have already been informed about this money and I am currently doing a deal with "HANS" (CHRISTIAN ANDERSON) of Nigeria. So I will not be needing your assistance as well in this matter so there!!
He is doing a deal with me but he has told me that I am to get €17.5 Million Dollars. This money would be so good for me as I can not hear very well at all and have fading sight through years of neglect staring at Ants HOLES in outer Mongolia where I worked for several years as a BOTANIST. Funny enough that I have not heard from him in a while. Is it to be that you are taking over this case from him and something strange has happened to him.....? I hope not as he sounded like such a nice young man.

Blessings on you from the HOLY DIVINE RACK of LAMB
Dwain



>Barrister Mark Anthony & Associate
>Palm grove House, 1 Shaam Ave, (WHAT AN ADDRESS!)
>Ilupeju Lagos State.
>Alternative Email:( barrmark2@tiscali.it
>
>
>Dear Murray,
>
>I am barrister Mark Anthony A solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney
>to Mr.Larry Murray, a national of your country, who used to work with shell
>development company in Nigeria and as well a one time secret agent in
>transfering of money overseas for the Late head of state of Nigeria {Late
>Gen.SANI ABACHA}.my Before his death On the 21st of April 1999 client, his
>wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along shagam
>express road in which all occupants of the motor died}.
>
>
>My client{MR.LARRY}deposited as family belongings in a CONSIGNMENT {ie
>jewelries} the sum of $15m in a finance company here in Nigeria for himself,
>with the hope of transferring it to his country as soon as he is on leave.
>
>Since his death I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any
>of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful.
>
>After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name
>over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted
>you.
>
>I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind
>by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the
>Finance Company where this huge deposits were lodged.
>
>particularly, Citi Trust Securities & Finance Ltd where the deceased had
>anaccount valued at about 15million dollars has issued me a notice to
>provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next
>ten officialworking days. Since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the
>the relatives for over 4 years now I seek your consent to present you as the
>next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the
>proceeds of this account valued at 15million dollars can be paid to you and
>then you and me can share the money. 60% to me and 30% to you and 10% for
>any expenses which may be incurred in the course ofthis transaction. I have
>the all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we
>may make.
>
>All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this dealt
>through.I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate
>arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.Please get in
>touch with me through my alternative email:(barrmark2@tiscali.it) to enable
>us discuss further, kindly forward the following information.
>
>{A}.YOUR FULL NAME.
>{B}.YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS.
>{C}.YOUR TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER.
>{D} YOUR OCUPATION.
>(E).YOUR AGE.
>
>As soon as i receive your details, I will write an application to the
>Finance House for immediate payment.
>
>Thanks and God bless.
>Barrister Mark Anthony.

Pal

just be careful if you want to play games with these types.

do some learning about best practise first.

check out the 419 sites for guidance.

they're dangerous criminals

Guru Maith Agut

Pal wrote:

just be careful if you want to play games with these types.

do some learning about best practise first.

check out the 419 sites for guidance.

they're dangerous criminals

yeah yeah I read all about it on that site. They're no more dangerous than you or I tbh. Just because they extort money from people (or try too) doesn't mean they are hardened murderers etc. I'm old enough to know how much info to give them and what I'll get away with. I suggest no one try this if they are weak natured though for sure. This ain't a first for me but its the first time I publicised it for all those who hate the fu(kers and what they stand for..

Roar

ha ha that passed away a bit of my lunch hour