the demon drink...(over 25's only please!)

LegacyUser

Okay, not sure if this is the right place for this so mods please move if so.
the topic is alcohol. I'm just wondering how you all approach a night out now in your wiser years, how much you have, how you change etc.
I myself become impatient, louder, crave more attention, experience either a high or a low, never in between, and usually become very self destructive, oh and I never want to stop.
No matter how I control myself up until around the third pint I start to change. I'd describe myself as a fool when I'm drunk!
The thing is I think I may be the only one with the problem, as I dont think my friends turn this way, or as I've frustratingly come to realise, they would never give you the straight truth on it.
Generally a hangover is greeted with - if your still a bit drunk - you want to get back on it and get what you think are fun times going again.
or - you want to sleep, do nothing, be miserable etc.
Am I right in saying that everybody feels guilty in the days after a night out even when it appears theyve done nothing wrong?
Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it.
Okay, the reason why I only want to hear from people over 25 is because I dont think that anybody younger can talk maturely enough about alcohol.
Also, this is weird but it seems i only ever get bad news when recovering from it.
anyway, just wanted the truth on what people think about the whole thing. Sick of playing childhood games!

tinkerbell

stupid? wrote:

Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it.
Okay, the reason why I only want to hear from people over 25 is because I dont think that anybody younger can talk maturely enough about alcohol.

You only want to hear from people over 25? It doesn't take a 25-year-old to see that if it takes you 5-6 days to get back to normal after a drinking session, then you have a big problem.

You say you have no appetite, no motivation, feeling suicidal, being miserable - alcholol is a depressant. So perhaps you should rethink your boozing ways, and cut down because what you are doing at the moment is definitely not good for you.

Gilgamesh

sorry I'm 24, so just ignore my post, but I completely agree with Tink on this one.
You have a serious problem, and I would advise to get help.
Alcohol can become a depressant, but normally is just abused these days to forget about everything what bad is happening to you, that is proably why you think that all bad stuff happens after a drinking session.
Alc, just makes your problems stand still until you have recovered from the effects of it.
do something about it and maybe even talk to your friends how they see you, it might help you get an insight on how you are and what they think,

We can only make suggestions, but as we don't know you, we can't say for sure if you have problems or not, that is what (real) friends are for.

tbh, you don't need to be over 25 to comment on this matter.
Wisdom is a requirement for this questions, and Wisdom isn't always determined by the Age of a person.

Beruthiel

stupid? wrote:

Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it

then I have to ask you, why are you still drinking?

first off, I'd like to know exactly how much you are drinking and how often.

As those young kids above said, you have a problem, if you feel down, drink only makes it worse.
Have you tried stopping for a few weeks to see if you feel any different? if not, why not?
time to start asking yourself some serious questions.
I suggest you quit for a while and see what happens, then if you can control the amount you drink, switch to a glass of wine perhaps, drink water in between each drink, only allow yourself x amount when you go out.
If you cannot do this, then you had better take a long, hard look at yourself as some life changes will have to be made.
good luck

is_that_so

IMHO the issue for you here is not necessarily the alcohol. It does seem you are suffering from depression of some form but this is only my opinion.
If you don't understand why you're doing it, you should go and see someone. If you have no friends you could trust to help you with this then might I suggest you start with your GP. There are are plenty of good people out there who can help with this kind of thing.
I also think you need to address the possibility of alcohol abuse as well.
If alcohol is the problem then there are other possibilities you need to consider.
But as they say you've taken the first step and recognised a problem.
Get help on this from people who understand this area.

Static M.e.

Okay Ill take this piece by piece,

in your wiser years, how much you have, how you change etc.
I myself become impatient, louder, crave more attention, experience either a high or a low, never in between, and usually become very self destructive, oh and I never want to stop.

To be very honest I stopped doing that along time, I was like that back when I was 20 + 21. You might not have noticed but it could have something to do with the drink in particular you are drinking , for instance Southern Comfort, I have been barred from drinking it EVER when I am out ! because for some reason people seem to think that I can very very angry drinking it, while I myself am thinking "jebus what a great night !" I just stick to pints, no shorts anymore more, call it a generalisation but seriously I dont think any of us need any help whatsever getting pissed ! Pints are good fun.

No matter how I control myself up until around the third pint I start to change. I'd describe myself as a fool when I'm drunk!
The thing is I think I may be the only one with the problem, as I dont think my friends turn this way, or as I've frustratingly come to realise, they would never give you the straight truth on it

.

Again when I was younger I hated going out for a "pint" because as soon as I got to the good ol third pint I wanted to get pissed ! which became annoying for me as no one else did, then their was also the matter that I wouldn't go for that one pint unless I had money to get fully pissed with and money for going out, so I while I would have had the money for the 3/4 pints I stopped meeting friends because of it.

Generally a hangover is greeted with - if your still a bit drunk - you want to get back on it and get what you think are fun times going again.
or - you want to sleep, do nothing, be miserable etc.

No and no, I wake up after drinking if Im still a little pissed ( I wake up early even If I go out drinking all night, ~9 / 10. Yeah I like to sit on the couch and veg watch some Tv, play some games, and go and get loads of couch food, but I am happy out, good night, good fun, had a laugh etc

Am I right in saying that everybody feels guilty in the days after a night out even when it appears theyve done nothing wrong?

Refer to above

Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it.

If I went on a mad session a good 12 + hours drinking or so, yes it does take me ages to recover maybe till Wed from Sat/Sun where I feel back to normal but this is a rare thing, and I dont feel miserable Ijust feel groggy, takes me more than the average time to solve a problem \ do something.

Honestly (dont take this the wrong way) it sounds to me like you are out poping pills, and these are the effects you get. If not or even so, the symptoms are the same, what ever you are doing it seriously Fking with your body and your head taking that long to recover is not right. And if you are being a pain in the ass for your friends when you go out pretty soon they wont want you arond when you are like that

A llittle advice, if you are (insert drug here) give it up, you can have way better time just drinking + its way cheaper and its so much more fun. !

If you are just drinking, well then you should look at what you are drinking and how much you are drinking, would you always be first to finish a pint in a round ? Do you go for a Nagan or Bottle of B before you hit a pub ?
Your body is telling you that you are fking it up royally and that is not a good thing as Im sure you are aware. You need to relax your drinking and take a different approacfh once you become accostomed to your new drinking routine you will feel much better have better nights and feel fine in the mornings

Good luck

deRanged

I've had a similar experience to the OP (re the morning after feelings), but it only lasts for a day or maybe two.
I cut my drinking down to virtually nothing in stages over the last couple of years. I used to be a heavy drinker.
I started by cutting out all the shots, helped for a while, then the problem came back.
Then I cut down to bottles of beer instead of pints, helped for a while, problem returned.
Now I'm down to one or two glasses of wine or a couple of bottles of beer. I was out last night, had 4 glasses of wine in 4 hours and I seem to be right back where I started. So I think that's it for me as far as alcohol is concerned, bar a glass of wine with dinner at home or out.
I don't really miss drinking (I often go months without a drink) so I think I'll just have a hard limit of 2 units from now on and see how it goes.

I think it's the alcohol (which is a depressant) acting on an unhappiness you already have, and making it worse.

I don't think I have a point - just sharing.

Boggle

If I were you I'd break from it for a month or 2 altogether. When you drink again I'd stay clear of shorts (especially whiskey) - don't drink cider either (loop juice for some people),

Am I right in saying that everybody feels guilty in the days after a night out even when it appears theyve done nothing wrong?

Appears being the operative point. If you have a history of goin nuts and you've "black spots" then you'll always worry.

Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it.

What can be said? Drink less on the night out and FORCE yourself to eat a proper dinner and sleep the next night. Get a bit of exercise aswell maybe (walk?)...

Gordon

I'm 30 and it takes me a good day to get over a serious session. I never got hangovers until I was around 26.

My hangovers consist of extreme emotion usually, either unbelievable happiness or half an hour later, desperate depression. But I love feeling that way, even feeling utterly, awfully sad can be a beautiful feeling, it is these maximum emotions that should remind us how amazing and intoxicating life can be.

It takes you waaaay too long to get over being drunk. You should cut down on your drink because your body is not very happy for a few days afterwards. Alcohol can kill if you have too much remember.

If you really want to stop "playing childhood games" then be an adult and pace your drinking.

iguana

Static M.e. wrote:

Honestly (dont take this the wrong way) it sounds to me like you are out poping pills, and these are the effects you get. If not or even so, the symptoms are the same

I have to say, that is the first thing I thought reading parts of the original post.

If that is the problem, or even if it's just alcohol, then at least you should stay sober whenever you are feeling down. Any negative feelings you are having will be magnified by alcohol. If it's pills the come down can be rough at the best of times, but if you are feeling down or depressed it's the worst feeling in the world to come down from a huge high and back to all the bad feelings.

egan007

Maybe you should read this very very carefully firend.....

You are an alcoholic

The sooner you admit this the better for you
This is the very early stages and you are very luck to recognise it.
I'm currently watching my cousin recover from it and it ain't pretty.
My advice is to ignore everything in your mind that tells you it's ok and get help.
Have a look at www.irishhealth.com for advice.

I'm not anti drink / kill joy - as you can see from my signature but
I do recognise these signs as ones to be very VERY wary of.

vibrant

stupid? wrote:

Am I right in saying that everybody feels guilty in the days after a night out even when it appears theyve done nothing wrong?

Not something I've experienced, well nothing more serious than your generic "Yikes, I can't believe I was up dancing" nonsense.

stupid? wrote:

Usually it will take me 5-6 days to regain my normal thinking after a bout, during which time I have no appetite, no motivation, am sometimes suicidal, generally just miserable with life and the pointlessness of it.

You mentioned that you feel a change after the third pint. How many pints would there be in a "bout"? How much money does it cost?

As for the 5-6 days it takes you to recover.. this sounds seriously wrong. It takes 5 or 6 days for me to recover from something like a terrible cold, or a mild flu.

Beats

Definitely age is an issue in recovering from a serious session. I've noticed that many of my friends have started to pace themselves better. We also tend to meet later,or break the evening up by going for food which results in us drinking less, .

We can all feel guilty about getting wrecked. The " Feck what a waste of my day/weekend recovering in bed " scenario. But sure if you enjoyed it and had good crack why be so hard on yourself. However,if you're finding it difficult to cut back on how much you are drinking time to ask why this is the case ?

Sounds like you want to change this pattern, especially your behaviour when you're drunk. There's nothing worse than getting pissed and embarassing yourself or your friends. If your character is prone to acting in this fashion, then you should address this by slowing down and drinking less. It's a challenge but you may end up enjoying your evening better as a result.

You sound fed up and bored. We all develop habits in one form or another, which can lead to tedium and often depression. The difficulty is breaking them.

Take small steps. Try going out and doing something else. Vary your social experiences. Go to a different pub, go out for food, go to the cinema, theatre, go for a walk in the coutryside, read a good book. Feed your mind. Change how you travel to work. Look at your daily life and ask what you would like to alter? Change your routine so events and expereinces around you act to inspire and motivate you. Talk to your family, friends, and see what they think. Don't be afraid to ask them for some honest feedback.Take some responsibilty and action to bring about these changes.

All the best

cordelia

I wouldn't go so far as to say you're an alcoholic, but you would seem to be the type that could become one. We all have chinks in our armour - that one weakness we need to be aware of lest it take over our lives. For some it's a certain drug, for others drink, for some it's adrenaline. The smart thing is realizing it and taking steps to avoid disaster.

You state that after 3 pints you get a taste for it and end up on the tear. It takes you 5-6 days to recover. What more of a clue do you need?

Maybe it would be best for you to avoid drink entirely for a few weeks. Give your body and mind a chance to recover. If you go out again, make sure you've eaten, drink lots of water to keep hydrated (dehydration is the bulk of a hangover anyway). Stop after three pints, switch to non alcoholic so you can stay with your mates. If you really do lose it again and end up langered, well then you have a problem and may have to consider giving it up for good. I guess it really depends on what you want for yourself.

I don't think that physical addiction makes up the entirety of a drinking problem. You haven't hit that stage, obviously. But the warning signs are there and it's up to you to decide how you're going to deal with them while you are still in charge of the situation.

Shanegggg

Sorry to be rude and i know you only said over 25s because you wanted a mature answer but if you don't like yourself when your ddrunk then guess what you should stop doing. You DO have a CHOICE not to drink.

tinkerbell

Shanegggg wrote:

Sorry to be rude and i know you only said over 25s because you wanted a mature answer

Gilgamesh wrote:

tbh, you don't need to be over 25 to comment on this matter.
Wisdom is a requirement for this questions, and Wisdom isn't always determined by the Age of a person.

I think Gilgamesh hit the nail on the head. You don't need to be over 25 to be able to give a mature answer. The OP has a serious problem and needs to sort himself out, sooner - rather than later.

LegacyUser

Just like to say thanks for the honesty so far.
Unfortunately my friends all exist in one drunken circle. I'm not even sure how well we all know each other anymore. I have tried getting off it for a month, which meant no contact with my mates for that time, and on returning I did feel more confident and self assured, however after a few pints I once again slipped down the slope. I always thought an alcoholic was someone who was just always drunk, always hanging around the local or the bookies reeking of gargle, is an alcoholic a normal person who when drinks a little is prone to these tendencies?
Again I cant say for certain but it seems I've been given a false impression over the years by my "hard drinking party hard " mates on the truths. I mean that is where we rely on life learning from isnt it?
I knew the over 25 thing was gonna rub some people off the wrong way and I'm sorry but there really is no substitution for experience, and the majority of peeps under the age will have more energy and have more of a social life, and have a different approach to drinking in general. sorry, its just the way it is.
Yeah I wish you could get non alcoholic beer on tap, noone would ever ask...yes that does mean I'm scared to say I'm not drinking, when someone in a group is sober they are treated with suspicion and not really talked to...!
No drugs involved, generally start with around 5/6 cans in a gaff then on to a pub for around 11 then i suppose pints every 15/20 mins till 4.
That works out at 20 pints but realistically between blacking out and moving around and pissed stuff I'd say it'd be at least half that. So maybe 10 pints and 5 cans, cant say for sure.
Maybe the guilty feeling is just through the people I meet and the crap I must be saying to them, and yes I do have a bit of a crazy history for going nuts. So the blackouts are a worry.
Cutting down is difficult when in a round, or when someone is taking the liberty of watching your drinking and badgering you.
Just trying to remember the other stuff that was said - yeah the hangover days are generally just a feeling of groggyness(first 3), putting things off, doing stupid things, generally just a feeling of nothingness.
shi_t gotta go!

tinkerbell

stupid? wrote:

Unfortunately my friends all exist in one drunken circle.

Then you need to resist the peer pressure and stop drinking. You know yourself you need to stop. Well quit thinking about it and do it.

stupid? wrote:

I knew the over 25 thing was gonna rub some people off the wrong way and I'm sorry but there really is no substitution for experience, and the majority of peeps under the age will have more energy and have more of a social life, and have a different approach to drinking in general. sorry, its just the way it is.

I don't drink myself coz I can't stand the stuff.

stupid? wrote:

No drugs involved, generally start with around 5/6 cans in a gaff then on to a pub for around 11 then i suppose pints every 15/20 mins till 4.
That works out at 20 pints but realistically between blacking out and moving around and pissed stuff I'd say it'd be at least half that. So maybe 10 pints and 5 cans, cant say for sure.

That's an insane amount of drink. You seriously need to cut back. Think of your poor liver disintigrating.

Bri

stupid? wrote:

Yeah I wish you could get non alcoholic beer on tap, noone would ever ask...yes that does mean I'm scared to say I'm not drinking, when someone in a group is sober they are treated with suspicion and not really talked to...!

Just two things.

One - follow the above advice and get some help.

Two - Just generally, someone who doesn't drink (any or much) doesn't get treated badly if they themselves make up for not drinking - through self-confidence and happiness. Believe me I know. If you show you don't need this social crutch without being preachy to others then there should be no problem. It definatley takes time for the person and their social group to adjust to the change but it's worth it. You said yourself you experienced the self-confidence factor without it. I'm not omitting the fact that some immature groups may be put off by this, but in my view such a group is either not worth it at all, or else needs to learn. In your case do what's best for you solely.

I'm not a pioneer, I've grown up like a fairly typical Irish male, but in the last 2 years have managed fairly happily adjust to only drinking when it suits me, and almost always in moderation.

Re: the over-25 stipulation, although understable, strikes me as quite ironic given that your circle of friends seem immature enough to remain fairly limited by their reliance on drink...but I guess they're like 90% of this Island!

Good luck.

Beruthiel

stupid? wrote:

when someone in a group is sober they are treated with suspicion and not really talked to...!

I thought you said you were a grown up adult!?
I don't know what type of friends you have, but an intelligent adult would treat you just the same and have respect for the fact that you have decided not to drink on a particular night, if your friends do not respect this, are they really your firends or are you just looking for an excuse to drink?

PullMyFinger!

Unfortunately the Irish "lad" mentality doesnt work like this, if you dont get out of your brains till you fall over or kick the local dog its percieved by some as a weakness.

Im slowly cutting people like this out of my life and Id advise the OP to do the same. Am just in from a good night out, Im expecting *some* depression tomorrow (some issues I still think of about the ex) but it doesnt last days, that isnt normal.

A simple "ask me arse" wouldnt go astray regards the rounds badgering, this isnt Friday night drinks in 5th year.

Wibbs

I didn't drink at all for most of my 20's and most of my friends had the capacity to drink of oliver reed, so I wasn't hangin around with teetotallers. I really didn't have any problems not drinking. In fact they liked the fact I was cheaper than a taxi.

The weird thing is that now that when I do drink, I can go on a session that would kill many of my mates who drank heavily in their 20's. No hangovers at all(well slight groggyness). I make this point only to say that they must have done some damage to their livers in their 20's that has reduced their capacity now and they were not putting away nearly the quantities of drink that you are.

I don't want to scare you but I've seen someone die from liver failure at a young age and you don't want that, I assure you. That's the path laid out for you if you don't stop(or cut down) now. You have probably got fatty liver as it is http://www.britishlivertrust.org.uk/content/diseases/fatty_liver.asp (I'd be v v surprised if you hadn't) and you are well on your way to Cirrhosis with an increased risk of cancer.

5 days recovery is a worry. If you're not taking other drugs I would really suggest a blood test to check the state of your liver. Are you taking any other medication? Steroids and other drugs have an adverse effect on the liver and adding alcohol to the mix will compound the problem. Diabetes and obesity will also tax your liver. Anything you eat or drink is ultimately filtered by the liver so it can get quite a beating from some peoples lifestyle

Don't take paracetamol for a hangover either as it also affects the liver.

Smoking is considered bad for you but what you are doing with alcohol will kill you quicker and younger than a pack a day smoker who doesn't drink. If you do both you're really screwed.

I hope you get help for this problem and maybe start with your emotional state as that seems to be the root cause of the drinking in the first place.

Good luck anyway

vibrant

To the original poster, you've mentioned that you have gone for weeks at a time without any alcohol - that is fantastic. I can understand how you'd get sucked back in to the habit once you start socialising again, though.

Would you be willing to talk to a counsellor about this? Or someone who is a recovering alcoholic?

REDZ

eh you could be allergic to alcohol, that would explain taking ages to recover from it. from your posts drink seems to have a big effect, blackouts etc..this would also fit with my allergy theory..just a theory tho.
good luck

Kernel

Beruthiel wrote:

I thought you said you were a grown up adult!?
I don't know what type of friends you have, but an intelligent adult would treat you just the same and have respect for the fact that you have decided not to drink on a particular night, if your friends do not respect this, are they really your firends or are you just looking for an excuse to drink?

Well, he has a point, in that drunk people and sober people are on different wavelengths. If there was someone hovering around my social circle staying totally sober while we got tanked up, eventually you would start to cut them out. Depends on how he/she acts I suppose.. but the wavelength rule still applies. Drunk people talk a lot of ****e, and laugh at stuff that sober people don't find quite so amusing.

My advice to the guy would be to slow down in drinking the pints. I suffered the blackouts and total inebriation as I got over my mid twenties, but that is just the effect of an ageing metabolism. Exercise can help your metabolism and let you handle the alcohol a bit better, but you also have some depression problems mate. And if you start acting like an arsehole every time you get drunk, then you have to stop getting drunk unfortunately.

Beruthiel

Kernel wrote:

Well, he has a point, in that drunk people and sober people are on different wavelengths. If there was someone hovering around my social circle staying totally sober while we got tanked up, eventually you would start to cut them out(

well that says more about you than the sober person don't ya think?

Kernel

Beruthiel wrote:

well that says more about you than the sober person don't ya think?

Not really, I consider that normal, and think most people, if they are honest, would be the same. Think about it, you're out boozing with the lads, there's one person there who is always sober and on a totally different wavelength... eventually it's gonna get old fast.

If you want to socialise but don't want to drink, don't go to the pub and hang around with drinkers tbh.

Bri

Kernel I think you've got one type of stereotype engrained in your head. I know plenty of pioneers who are more of a laugh than most.

LegacyUser

The definition of an alchoholic is someone who's life has become unmanageable because of their drinking. It's not the amount you drink or the frequency.

If you want to go to an AA meeting you can email me at johncarter45@yahoo.ie.

I'm 31 and have been sober 6 years. My story was the same as yours when I was in my early 20's.

Static M.e.

OP. Thats an insane amount of booze even for a heavier drinker ! I do that kind of drinking at a wedding or a very special occasion, during which we have dinner and snacks etc

If that is your regular, you are really screwing your body up and doing untold amount of damage to your inside's, which your only starting to notice now but will have reprocusions all through your life

You need to start taking it down a notch, do it slowly if you are worried about the social aspect but definatly do it.

Start swaping the Cans for bottles, Bottles have a nicer taste etc

In the pub (if you can) drink bottles of Cider with Ice the pint bottles and only fill your pint half way next round you still have half a pint, so you dont need one this round.

Get out of rounds ! or find someone in the group that drinks at a slower pace and get in a small round with them. In my group for instance I only noticed at the weekend that their is about 4 different rounds going at any one time, And for my 3 another round still had the first, just something I had never bothered to notice before, do I care, NO, why would I, I couldn't give a crap how much my friends are drinking, if your friends dont have this attitude then they are a problem.

I cant think of idea's but if you look around some time I can gaurantee some of your friends are doing things to slow there drinking down.

Hmm you could also go out with a friend when he goes for a smoke say you want some fresh air or something, if you go out 6 times in a night, thats about 30 min = 1 pint knocked off your list

these are just idea's to try and cut down the amount of booze you are going through. Bottem line is though, you are way over the top and you definatly need to cut the booze down, you know it and your body know's it. The other thing aswell is your body is adjusting to drinking that amount of drink which must also be costing you a fortune, when you cut down you WILL have just a good if not better night, save lots of cash, and feel fine the next day, dare I say it almost ready for another good night

Good luck

Zaph0d

In the past I've known people whose alcohol or drug intake was linked to their social circle. Your social circle is dependent on geography so the simple fix is to move to a different town or country. It's amazing how quickly this works and its easier than trying to isolate yourself from your friends and stay put. New town, new start - off you go!

As you get older, friends become less important in life and your focus switches to your own family. You also become more at ease with who you are and less reliant on the approval of your mates or belonging to a gang.

tinkerbell

Kernel wrote:

Think about it, you're out boozing with the lads, there's one person there who is always sober and on a totally different wavelength... eventually it's gonna get old fast.

If you want to socialise but don't want to drink, don't go to the pub and hang around with drinkers tbh.

That's total rubbish. I'd imagine that would only apply to a small minority. I have a lot of friends who either drink or don't drink, and when we all go out, we get on great. Just coz you don't drink, doesn't mean you can't have fun. You don't have to drink to hang around with your friends who drink.

To the OP - you do have a big problem, and need to get it seriously sorted out before you harm yourself.

rubadub

Give up the spirits and only bring out enough money for 7-8 pints, tell your mates not to lend you a penny. You see many people completely pissed who THEN start to drink spirits later on even though the initial 10 pints haven't taken effect. After 10 pints the spirits taste like water and they start skulling them. You can't remember the night out and you have blown an extra €60 on drink you didn't need. Then theres the taxi soilage charge....

sleepwalker

Am I right in saying that everybody feels guilty in the days after a night out even when it appears theyve done nothing wrong?

this has happened to me on the last 3 pissups when ive gone into town i really need to start controlling myself

Kernel

tinkerbell wrote:

That's total rubbish. I'd imagine that would only apply to a small minority. I have a lot of friends who either drink or don't drink, and when we all go out, we get on great. Just coz you don't drink, doesn't mean you can't have fun. You don't have to drink to hang around with your friends who drink.

To the OP - you do have a big problem, and need to get it seriously sorted out before you harm yourself.

Maybe that's how it works with girls or light drinkers, but I can assure you, little lady, that when the lads get drinking it's serious business. Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

tinkerbell

Kernel wrote:

Maybe that's how it works with girls or light drinkers, but I can assure you, little lady, that when the lads get drinking it's serious business. Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

I can assure you that it's not serious business when ALL lads get drinking. And just coz you don't drink, it doesn't mean you are the boring one or the "stick in the mud". I think it's actually the stronger person that says no to drink.

We're trying to convince the OP that it is good NOT to drink, not make him fall back into it, which you seem to be encouraging him to do (by saying he'll be boring otherwise).

Oh and I'd prefer it if you didn't refer to me as little lady, thank you very much.

LegacyUser

Kernel wrote:

Maybe that's how it works with girls or light drinkers, but I can assure you, little lady, that when the lads get drinking it's serious business. Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

Have you any idea how ignorant and potentially dangerous these comments are?

You have all at once exposed yourself as uneducated, unintelligent, sexist and socially incompetent.

Drinking is not serious business, it's escapism, is your reality that bad?

Blub2k4

There are a lot of signs here that you have a problem with drink and my own experiences were similar.

stupid? wrote:

Just like to say thanks for the honesty so far.
Unfortunately my friends all exist in one drunken circle. I'm not even sure how well we all know each other anymore. I have tried getting off it for a month, which meant no contact with my mates for that time, and on returning I did feel more confident and self assured, however after a few pints I once again slipped down the slope. I always thought an alcoholic was someone who was just always drunk, always hanging around the local or the bookies reeking of gargle, is an alcoholic a normal person who when drinks a little is prone to these tendencies?

One of the first steps in breaking an addictive cycle can be, "change your playground, change your playmates", it sounds like this could help you. I have a pretty serious drug and alcohol past and the reality is that none of the people from back then were real friends, when we were not in the common persuit of getting "f0cked up" we had nothing to say to each other. An alcoholic is not necessarily the stereotype, in this case the alcoholic could look like you, this is hard as this is not the picture you have of the emaciated oul fella down the pub who stinks of stale guinness.

stupid? wrote:

Again I cant say for certain but it seems I've been given a false impression over the years by my "hard drinking party hard " mates on the truths. I mean that is where we rely on life learning from isnt it?
I knew the over 25 thing was gonna rub some people off the wrong way and I'm sorry but there really is no substitution for experience, and the majority of peeps under the age will have more energy and have more of a social life, and have a different approach to drinking in general. sorry, its just the way it is.

The age thing from the point of view of experience could be relevant but it is possible that people without the experience can comment on what is obviously just by your own description a hardcore lifestyle.

stupid? wrote:

Yeah I wish you could get non alcoholic beer on tap, noone would ever ask...yes that does mean I'm scared to say I'm not drinking, when someone in a group is sober they are treated with suspicion and not really talked to...!

Drink Coke FFS if they are your mates then they wont care, if not you are back to the playground/platmates idea and you are not in the gang if not helping others to disguise their problems in a group " ah sure all the lads had ten pints last night". If they dont accept that drinking is hurting you then leave them, they cant see inside your head and peer pressure is not a good reason to kill yourself.

stupid? wrote:

No drugs involved, generally start with around 5/6 cans in a gaff then on to a pub for around 11 then i suppose pints every 15/20 mins till 4.
That works out at 20 pints but realistically between blacking out and moving around and pissed stuff I'd say it'd be at least half that. So maybe 10 pints and 5 cans, cant say for sure.
Maybe the guilty feeling is just through the people I meet and the crap I must be saying to them, and yes I do have a bit of a crazy history for going nuts. So the blackouts are a worry.

Dont fool yourself, I've had experience of them all and alcohol was the most destructive drug I did apart from "H", it is a drug. The guilt thing I understand from my destructive days too, I was also at times suicidal after a session, not a good mental state to be in, the depressive qualities of alcohol were responsible.

stupid? wrote:

Cutting down is difficult when in a round, or when someone is taking the liberty of watching your drinking and badgering you.
Just trying to remember the other stuff that was said - yeah the hangover days are generally just a feeling of groggyness(first 3), putting things off, doing stupid things, generally just a feeling of nothingness.
shi_t gotta go!

Get out of a round, let other people watch their drinks, dont go down on someone elses ship. As an aside I am now able to drink socially and dont need to stay dry, I am in other circumstances and another headspace so it works without controlling my life these days.
Good luck with it.

Blub2k4

Kernel wrote:

Maybe that's how it works with girls or light drinkers, but I can assure you, little lady, that when the lads get drinking it's serious business. Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

Man this is why he was looking for mature responses, think about it.

Beruthiel

Kernel wrote:

Maybe that's how it works with girls or light drinkers, but I can assure you, little lady, that when the lads get drinking it's serious business.

with an attitude like that, I'm guessing you are under the age of 25 then

Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

If you really actually believe that then I suggest you talk a long, hard look at yourself

Kernel

Beruthiel wrote:

with an attitude like that, I'm guessing you are under the age of 25 then

Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it.

If you really actually believe that then I suggest you talk a long, hard look at yourself

No, I'm 28, little lady. And I'm also right. Depends on who you hang out with though I guess! This fella is a man, so you girls don't really imbibe alcohol as much as we do, or hang out with 'the lads' like we do. I don't know if you are qualiified to give him real advice, since you or tinkerbell were not in the same situation, and are automatically calling him an alcoholic. That means I am one too, and all my mates.... now that seems to be stretching it a little.

Gilgamesh

tbh I don't really see why you think ALL guys have to get themselves sh**faced to have a good time out, I manage and know tons of other guys who manage, so please stop generalising KERNEL.

If you need to get pi$$ed to have a good time, then fine, but don't assume everbody else jumps onto the same bus

Kernel

Gilgamesh wrote:

tbh I don't really see why you think ALL guys have to get themselves sh**faced to have a good time out, I manage and know tons of other guys who manage, so please stop generalising KERNEL.

If you need to get pi$$ed to have a good time, then fine, but don't assume everbody else jumps onto the same bus

I didn't say that you needed to get pissed to have a good time, so what are you on about??? Please start reading my posts man.

Beruthiel

Kernel wrote:

No, I'm 28, little lady

I would appreciate it if you kept your condescending remarks to yourself Kernel as you do not know me well enough to say if I’m little or a lady

are automatically calling him an alcoholic. That means I am one too, and all my mates.... now that seems to be stretching it a little

is it?
You certainly have the attitude of a person who thinks it’s quite ok to drink yourself under the table as much as you like and that it’s an ok thing to do, at the age of 28 one would think you'd have grown past that.
They do say that once a person starts to drink heavily they stop growing as a person, I have seen the results of it myself so I can say for some people, that is true.
We live in one of the very few countries in the world where this behaviour is tolerated – that doesn’t make it right

Pighead

Kernel wrote:

I didn't say that you needed to get pissed to have a good time, so what are you on about??? Please start reading my posts man.

You did say that "Everyone is different though, if you are happy being the boring one or the 'stick in the mud' then go for it."
This would seem to imply that to avoid being a boring stick in the mud you must drink to have a good time.
QED

Kernel

Beruthiel wrote:

I would appreciate it if you kept your condescending remarks to yourself Kernel as you do not know me well enough to say if I’m little or a lady

Well, I know you are a woman, so, being a gentleman of etiquette myself, I just assumed you were a lady.

Beruthiel wrote:

is it?
You certainly have the attitude of a person who thinks it’s quite ok to drink yourself under the table as much as you like and that it’s an ok thing to do, at the age of 28 one would think you'd have grown past that.
They do say that once a person starts to drink heavily they stop growing as a person, I have seen the results of it myself so I can say for some people, that is true.
We live in one of the very few countries in the world where this behaviour is tolerated – that doesn’t make it right

It's not like I go out and get hammered every night. I have a job, a house, responsibilities. I like a drink with my mates, it's how I socialise, meet up with people, enjoy sporting events etc. It just happens that this is the Irish way of life, and once you don't go off the rails, it's perfectly acceptable. I'm giving practical advice to the guy, I also said that if drink changes his personality then he should consider not drinking, or cutting down. Everything in moderation. Telling him to give it up completely is jumping the gun.

Rehab is for quitters.

Beruthiel

Kernel wrote:

Rehab is for quitters.

kernel
this sort of comment is not welcome in here
please read this forums charter with regards to this as another one like that will get you banned
B

Kernel

Beruthiel wrote:

kernel
this sort of comment is not welcome in here
please read this forums charter with regards to this as another one like that will get you banned
B

Arguing with you will get me banned more like!

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote:

kernel
this sort of comment is not welcome in here
please read this forums charter with regards to this as another one like that will get you banned
B

Jesus,i'd hate to be going out on a session with Beruthial,lighten up lady!
Winners never quit and quitters never win

Drinking in moderation is the recognised answer to the posters problem.
End of story

Gordon

Kernel wrote:

Arguing with you will get me banned more like!

Yes that too.

Beruthiel

Pighead wrote:

Jesus,i'd hate to be going out on a session with Beruthial,lighten up lady!

sessions?!
I don't do sessions....

I suggest you also have a little read of the charter

now
next person to go off topic gets banned
B