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peaches

  • 26-03-2005 3:04pm
    #1
    dan_y
    Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭


    i'll wake up in your arms
    and the feeling will just fade
    drain the colour from your face
    while our skin will dry up
    and your scent evaporate
    drained and duller than disgrace

    and that will make me smile
    it'll shock and invigorate
    strain the pulp from this place

    i'll get up to go
    and your hand won't even try
    defeated by a blow
    i didn't know i had
    and when our memories all go
    and that strand of goodness dies
    i'll find you naked and alone
    and take you


Comments

  • #2
    humbleCounty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 240 ✭✭humbleCounty


    hmmm, not sure what to make of that?

    i dont usually say this, but a few commas, full stops etc might make it easier to read, like ya get the rythm of it after a few reads, (at least i think i do) but it would make the poem much more accessible if that could happen (and the way you want it) first time round


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