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Bleurgh

  • 20-03-2005 10:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i need to get this off my chest, comments greatly appreciated...

    my friend got with this guy a year ago n fell in love. we went on holidays together last year and ended up fighting like crazy and have barely spoken since. ive apoligised and all that jazz but its just not working. she spends all of her time with him and ignores me. i feel really sh1tty about all of this! we've been friends since we were 1 and we're 19 now.

    a few years ago i went through a bad patch where i self harmed and tried to take an overdose and she knows all of this and i feel so bad about myself having lost the only friend i have, ive started to cut myself again. i just dont know what to do!!!

    ARGH!


Comments

  • #2
    Xterminator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,782 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    Hi,

    I think you have two seperate issues here.

    Your friend is with this guy, and spends a lot of time with him, that she used to spend with you. Also there may be some bad feeling about the row on holiday.

    I think this is normal. I wont say if its right or wrong, just very common for friends who become involved to all but desert their former friends until the relationship ends (if it does).
    If your friendship was strong, the row should have been forgiven & forgotton by now, and as you said you have apologised.

    Perhaps you can arrange a girls night out with your friend, and let her choose a date that suits, e.g. no pressure? A good night out may clear the air too!

    2. The self harm. You know its unhealthy, and you seem to hope that your cry for help will bring your friend running back. If she's really your friend, you wont want to emotionally blackmail her into giving you attention, and besides she may end up resentng you for this. I suggest you see a gp for this, and get help. Having someine to talk oll this stuff out with can be a great release.

    I reccomend you try to get more friend(s) if possible! Take up a hobby, or class. It can boost your self-esteem while making new frieds too, (hopefully).

    X


  • #3
    D
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,174 ✭✭✭D


    Ok self harm can be dangerous, and I know that you have no reason to listen to me but I advise seeing someone about it. You are feeling alone and exposed becsuse you seem to have lost your only friend to a guy. Instead of being jealous try to be supportive, make an effort to befriend her bf. When your friend sees this she is more likely to be comfortable around you. Personally I think that you should become more secure with youself first as I see it that you used your friend as an emotional safety net and now that net is gone you don't know what to do.


  • #4
    meditraitor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,207 ✭✭✭meditraitor


    needavent wrote:
    i need to get this off my chest, comments greatly appreciated...

    my friend got with this guy a year ago n fell in love. we went on holidays together last year and ended up fighting like crazy and have barely spoken since. ive apoligised and all that jazz but its just not working. she spends all of her time with him and ignores me. i feel really sh1tty about all of this! we've been friends since we were 1 and we're 19 now.

    a few years ago i went through a bad patch where i self harmed and tried to take an overdose and she knows all of this and i feel so bad about myself having lost the only friend i have, ive started to cut myself again. i just dont know what to do!!!

    ARGH!

    It sounds to me like your friend is moving on with her life, the self harm could be a reason as well as a result for your friend ignoring you.
    Maybe she see's this argument(holiday) as a way to cut you loose without having to be blunt and say that your mental health problems(cutting yourself) are not what she needs as 19 year old trying to make her way in life.
    She probably can't take all the stress that comes with your friendship, it sounds cold but at 19 most people are not capable of handling their own problems let alone other peoples.

    You should consult your doctor ar at least an older family member as cutting yourself is only a symptom of a much bigger issue that will need to be addressed..

    Good luck
    M


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