Why??

shellspeare

1 is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks

2 why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand

3 if a word was misspelled in a dictionary how would we ever know

4 if Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words

5 why do tug boats push

6 why is it called after dark when really its after daylight

7 if work is so good why do they pay for you to do it

8 if all the worlds a stage where do the audience sit

9 if love is blind why is lingerie so popular

10 why is a bra singular but knickers is plural

11 why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when we know the batteries are failing

12 why do we put suits in garment bags but garments in suitcases

13 Christmas is weird what other time of year do you sit round a dead tree and eat sweets out your socks

heres some more for you to ponder on

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there are no women around him ....is he still wrong

if someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himsel, is it classed as a hostage situation

is the another word for synonym

what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant

why dont sheep shrink in the rain

what was the best thing before sliced bread

why do toasters allways have a setting that burns toast to a crisp that no one would ever eat

why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but they dont point to their crotch when they ask for the toilet

why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours they are both dogs

if Quizzes are Quizzical what are tests

Adult = a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

Beauty Parlour = a place where women curl up and dye

Cannibal = someone who is fed up with people

Chickens = the only animal you eat before they are born and after they die

Committee = a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

Dust = mud with the juice sqeezed out

Egotist = someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

Gossip = a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

Handkerchief = cold storage

Inflation = cutting money in half without damaging the paper

Myth = a female moth

Secret = something you tell one person at a time

Skeleton = a bunch of bones with the person scraped off

Toothache = a pain that drives you to extraction

Tommorrow = one of the greatest labour saving devices of today

Wrinkles = someting other people have. you have character lines

(insert name)

1 is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks

Because its meant to

2 why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand

Because it shows the unit of time "seconds"

3 if a word was misspelled in a dictionary how would we ever know

Another dictionary, also dictionarys are references for meaning not spelling

4 if Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words

Em... Perhaps the English language

5 why do tug boats push

Whats a tug boat

6 why is it called after dark when really its after daylight

After darkness falls it is dark

7 if work is so good why do they pay for you to do it

who says it is?

8 if all the worlds a stage where do the audience sit

again, who says it is?

9 if love is blind why is lingerie so popular

"love is blind" is a phrase, not literal truth

10 why is a bra singular but knickers is plural

same as trousers

11 why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when we know the batteries are failing

to make sure it will work

12 why do we put suits in garment bags but garments in suitcases

suits are garments and garments can be suits

13 Christmas is weird what other time of year do you sit round a dead tree and eat sweets out your socks

Its called tradition

heres some more for you to ponder on

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Wow!! a pun!!

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

same again

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there are no women around him ....is he still wrong

that's just bad

if someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himself, is it classed as a hostage situation

no, he isn't imprisoning himself

is the another word for synonym

maybe, check the thesauras or dictionary

what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant

stop it using non-lethal measures, they do exist you know

why dont sheep shrink in the rain

why would they, does wool shrink on a cold wash

what was the best thing before sliced bread

unsliced bread maybe??

why do toasters allways have a setting that burns toast to a crisp that no one would ever eat

frozen bread

why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but they dont point to their crotch when they ask for the toilet

normally they dont unless the other person speaks another language

why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours they are both dogs

do most cartoons make sense?

if Quizzes are Quizzical what are tests

testing

Adult = a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

not necessarily

Beauty Parlour = a place where women curl up and dye

no women (and men) get their hair curled and dyed

Cannibal = someone who is fed up with people

yes but not always fed up on them sometimes they prepare their own food

Chickens = the only animal you eat before they are born and after they die

do you eat other animals before they die?

Committee = a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

minutes of meetings, not time and not all hours are wasted maybe spent productivley

Dust = mud with the juice sqeezed out

no, the water dried out of it

Egotist = someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

or is just full of their own ...

Gossip = a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

yes, or someone who just likes scandal

Handkerchief = cold storage

no, snot and phlegm storage but they do get washed you know

Inflation = cutting money in half without damaging the paper

no, cutting money's value in half

Myth = a female moth

or not

Secret = something you tell one person at a time

or maybe just some people

Skeleton = a bunch of bones with the person scraped off

or maybe the body has decayed

Toothache = a pain that drives you to extraction

or filling

Tommorrow = one of the greatest labour saving devices of today

not really as you still do the work tommorrow (in theory)

Wrinkles = someting other people have. you have character lines

not all people are that vain (or have wrinkles)

NotMe

shut up.

(insert name)

NotMe wrote:

shut up.

he did ask

why??

i answered his question and punished him for reproducing corny, old chain emails.

so i suggest that you shut up.

[sarcasm]:)[/sarcasm]

NotMe

suggestion noted.
[?] [/?]

(insert name)

NotMe wrote:

[?] [/?]

i meant a sarcastic smile/laugh hence the (joke) sarcasm tags

ie [sarcasm] and [/sarcasm]

NotMe

(insert name) wrote:

i meant a sarcastic smile/laugh hence the (joke) sarcasm tags

ie [sarcasm] and [/sarcasm]

I know. Sorry I'm just messing with your head. Forget about it.

StupidLikeAFox

(insert name) wrote:

he did ask

i answered his question and punished him for reproducing corny, old chain emails.

so i suggest that you shut up.

[sarcasm]:)[/sarcasm]

No, you tried to be witty and/or funny, but failed miserably. Get off the stage

Capt'n Midnight

shellspeare wrote:

3 if a word was misspelled in a dictionary how would we ever know

4 if Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words

Any Blackadder fan would know that it wasn't Webster who wrote the first dictionary. Had he bothered to go to a library there were actually two centuries worth of them to refer to but instead he is the one to blame for the inability of most Americans to be able to spell.

kmart6

(insert name) wrote:

he did ask

i answered his question and punished him for reproducing corny, old chain emails.

so i suggest that you shut up.

[sarcasm]:)[/sarcasm]

Boo Urns...BOO URNS

Raphael

(insert name) wrote:

8 if all the worlds a stage where do the audience sit

again, who says it is?

William Shakespeare, now stop trying to break the funny

shelsfan

1 is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks

Because its meant to

2 why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand

Because it shows the unit of time "seconds"

3 if a word was misspelled in a dictionary how would we ever know

Another dictionary, also dictionarys are references for meaning not spelling

4 if Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words

Em... Perhaps the English language

5 why do tug boats push

Whats a tug boat

6 why is it called after dark when really its after daylight

After darkness falls it is dark

7 if work is so good why do they pay for you to do it

who says it is?

8 if all the worlds a stage where do the audience sit

again, who says it is?

9 if love is blind why is lingerie so popular

"love is blind" is a phrase, not literal truth

10 why is a bra singular but knickers is plural

same as trousers

11 why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when we know the batteries are failing

to make sure it will work

12 why do we put suits in garment bags but garments in suitcases

suits are garments and garments can be suits

13 Christmas is weird what other time of year do you sit round a dead tree and eat sweets out your socks

Its called tradition

heres some more for you to ponder on

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Wow!! a pun!!

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

same again

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there are no women around him ....is he still wrong

that's just bad

if someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himself, is it classed as a hostage situation

no, he isn't imprisoning himself

is the another word for synonym

maybe, check the thesauras or dictionary

what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant

stop it using non-lethal measures, they do exist you know

why dont sheep shrink in the rain

why would they, does wool shrink on a cold wash

what was the best thing before sliced bread

unsliced bread maybe??

why do toasters allways have a setting that burns toast to a crisp that no one would ever eat

frozen bread

why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but they dont point to their crotch when they ask for the toilet

normally they dont unless the other person speaks another language

why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours they are both dogs

do most cartoons make sense?

if Quizzes are Quizzical what are tests

testing

Adult = a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

not necessarily

Beauty Parlour = a place where women curl up and dye

no women (and men) get their hair curled and dyed

Cannibal = someone who is fed up with people

yes but not always fed up on them sometimes they prepare their own food

Chickens = the only animal you eat before they are born and after they die

do you eat other animals before they die?

Committee = a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

minutes of meetings, not time and not all hours are wasted maybe spent productivley

Dust = mud with the juice sqeezed out

no, the water dried out of it

Egotist = someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

or is just full of their own ...

Gossip = a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

yes, or someone who just likes scandal

Handkerchief = cold storage

no, snot and phlegm storage but they do get washed you know

Inflation = cutting money in half without damaging the paper

no, cutting money's value in half

Myth = a female moth

or not

Secret = something you tell one person at a time

or maybe just some people

Skeleton = a bunch of bones with the person scraped off

or maybe the body has decayed

Toothache = a pain that drives you to extraction

or filling

Tommorrow = one of the greatest labour saving devices of today

not really as you still do the work tommorrow (in theory)

Wrinkles = someting other people have. you have character lines

not all people are that vain (or have wrinkles)

I think it was a joke...

joe.

(insert name) wrote:

1 is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks

Because its meant to

2 why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand

Because it shows the unit of time "seconds"

3 if a word was misspelled in a dictionary how would we ever know

Another dictionary, also dictionarys are references for meaning not spelling

4 if Webster wrote the first dictionary where did he find the words

Em... Perhaps the English language

5 why do tug boats push

Whats a tug boat

6 why is it called after dark when really its after daylight

After darkness falls it is dark

7 if work is so good why do they pay for you to do it

who says it is?

8 if all the worlds a stage where do the audience sit

again, who says it is?

9 if love is blind why is lingerie so popular

"love is blind" is a phrase, not literal truth

10 why is a bra singular but knickers is plural

same as trousers

11 why do we press harder on the buttons of a remote control when we know the batteries are failing

to make sure it will work

12 why do we put suits in garment bags but garments in suitcases

suits are garments and garments can be suits

13 Christmas is weird what other time of year do you sit round a dead tree and eat sweets out your socks

Its called tradition

heres some more for you to ponder on

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Wow!! a pun!!

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

same again

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there are no women around him ....is he still wrong

that's just bad

if someone with multiple personalities threaten to kill himself, is it classed as a hostage situation

no, he isn't imprisoning himself

is the another word for synonym

maybe, check the thesauras or dictionary

what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant

stop it using non-lethal measures, they do exist you know

why dont sheep shrink in the rain

why would they, does wool shrink on a cold wash

what was the best thing before sliced bread

unsliced bread maybe??

why do toasters allways have a setting that burns toast to a crisp that no one would ever eat

frozen bread

why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but they dont point to their crotch when they ask for the toilet

normally they dont unless the other person speaks another language

why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours they are both dogs

do most cartoons make sense?

if Quizzes are Quizzical what are tests

testing

Adult = a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

not necessarily

Beauty Parlour = a place where women curl up and dye

no women (and men) get their hair curled and dyed

Cannibal = someone who is fed up with people

yes but not always fed up on them sometimes they prepare their own food

Chickens = the only animal you eat before they are born and after they die

do you eat other animals before they die?

Committee = a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

minutes of meetings, not time and not all hours are wasted maybe spent productivley

Dust = mud with the juice sqeezed out

no, the water dried out of it

Egotist = someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

or is just full of their own ...

Gossip = a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

yes, or someone who just likes scandal

Handkerchief = cold storage

no, snot and phlegm storage but they do get washed you know

Inflation = cutting money in half without damaging the paper

no, cutting money's value in half

Myth = a female moth

or not

Secret = something you tell one person at a time

or maybe just some people

Skeleton = a bunch of bones with the person scraped off

or maybe the body has decayed

Toothache = a pain that drives you to extraction

or filling

Tommorrow = one of the greatest labour saving devices of today

not really as you still do the work tommorrow (in theory)

Wrinkles = someting other people have. you have character lines

not all people are that vain (or have wrinkles)

Too much time

shelsfan

Who first found a cow, and thought, 'I think I'll pull on those dangy things and drink whatever comes out' ???!!!

superconor

WHO was the first person to say "i think i will eat what has just dropped out of this chickens ass!"

Bottle_of_Smoke

insert name I really hate you

Megatron

ColHol wrote:

No, you tried to be witty and/or funny, but failed miserably. Get off the stage

i'd have to agree, i could see what he was trying for but he just came off as some unfunny loser trying his best to be funny and get all the attention ...


I hope you get hit bya frozen bananna

Pugsley

Who first opened an oyster and said 'hmm that looks tasty'

Shabadu

Someone who picks their nose? !