Want to try it

LegacyUser

I have a girlfriend of 4 years, but when i was younger, myself and a friend used to **** and suck each other while looking at porn.

What i really want to do is suck and **** another guy to see how i feel, because i think i may be bi. When i look at porn i always end up looking at the cocks and gay porn aswell as women. But i cant join clubs or anything to meet men cos i dont want to loose my girlfriend. I try want a few hours with a guy in bed to see how i feel after.

Im so confused, any ideas?

Thanks

P.S. im not a troll, even though i come across as one lol

swiss

Assuming this isn't a troll, there are two issues here. The first is your confusion about your sexuality. This isn't something any of us can really tell you but if you have romantic and sexual feelings towards other guys then yes, chances are that you may be gay or bisexual.

However, I would be very dubious about anyone - gay or straight - in any relationship, again gay or straight, who would seek to play away, so to speak. How would she feel if you had sex with another girl? Assuming you're not in an open relationship, this would constitute just as much of a betrayal and is just as bad, IMO, as sleeping with another guy.

Heres an idea. Why not talk to your girlfriend and see how she feels about the nature, monogamous or otherwise, of your relationship? If she's been with you for four years, then it's likely she won't be thrilled with you playing around. If that's the case then it's decision time. If you love your girlfriend and are sexually attracted to her, and I assume this is the case because you've been with her for four years then a guy won't provide any more than that.

If however she is understanding and doesn't have a problem with a more open relationship, then you could go for it. Depending on the nature of your relationship, she might be understanding of your desire to experiment.

Of course, you could just go down the discreet meetup route, but that would turn you into a cheating scumbag, no matter what your motivations might be.

moridin

swiss wrote:

Of course, you could just go down the discreet meetup route, but that would turn you into a cheating scumbag, no matter what your motivations might be.

Well said

OfflerCrocGod

azezil wrote:

*drops his pants*

His smooth talking made you fall for him real quick didn't it?

Insert name wrote:

myself and a friend used to **** and suck each other while looking at porn.

What i really want to do is suck and **** another guy ..... I try want a few hours with a guy in bed

Smoooooth - like a halfbrick in a sock.

damien

If you have an open relationship, just start chatting up guys you think are cute. If not, well, do you want to break up with your girlfriend to experiment for a while ? cos that's what you have to do.

I think it would be grossly unfair on a girl who shared 4 years of her life with you, to have you cheat on her. Perhaps take a break from each other, then see what happens with guys and then decide. Trouble is she might be too upset to get back together, Tough choices to make.

Boston

You might be attachted to the trill of it all. I mean as a "straight guy" in a "straight" relationship. society tells you that you shouldn't be having these thoughts about other men. that can provide allot of excitement, which might not be present.

Girlfriend thing. I know it's tuff, but you can't really cheat on your girlfriend like this. If you like it you'll keep doing and well, to be blunt, you'll become every stereotype of a Bi-sexual man ever memtioned on boards. Talk to her, she might have noticed and would rather be with a man that was certain he was straight, which can happen in situations like this, rather then one that is constantly doubting themselves.

wodewick

i dont know, i'm bisexual and single, does that make it ok for me to try meet guys through here? i know it's not that kind of site, but still, from what u guys r sayin, it'd be ok

Boston

Personally I'd find it very doggy to meet up over the net for what the OP described, but I wouldn't see anything morally wrong with it once both parties are single. Why would their be

swiss

I'll go along with what Boston had to say. There is another thread that deals with the specific issue of taking some commonsense procedures when chatting and meeting others online.

I don't have a problem with posters wanting to meet each other, but I wouldn't want to see threads from various people who just want to arrange a hookup with other posters. I know that might limit peoples options as to how they might try to get the message out there that they're looking to meet up with others, but most people here who would be interested in meeting other guys/girls would probably already have gaydar profiles.

I do

In real life™ of course it doesn't matter what posters to this board think, I'm not going to feign any kind of moral indignation if the original poster or anyone else wants to sleep with other people while in a relationship, but I'm certainly not going to validate such behaviour either.

*Page*

ask her if she'd be up for a 3some

cat_rant

i was under the impression that gaydar was more male oriantated?

Boston

catastrophy wrote:

i was under the impression that gaydar was more male oriantated?

By shear demograph anything like that would be more male orientated.

fozzle

This is tough. it's a pity that questions about your sexuality are rearnig their ugly heads while you're in a long term relationship, but sometimes these things happen.

I would not advise having a one night stand with someone while in a relationship, you're risking an awful lot.

However, perhaps you should talk to your girlfriend. Don't tell her you want to sleep with a guy straight off, tell her that you just want to get this sorted in your head. She deserves to know if there's a chance it could come between ye.

darkened_corner

catastrophy wrote:

i was under the impression that gaydar was more male oriantated?

There's gaydar for guys, and then lor the laydeeeze there's gaydargirls.

azezil wrote:

*drops his pants*

Hmmm. Charming Must note down how easy it was to get you to do that. Y'know, entirely for the trivia value of it *makes note*

cat_rant

thanks must go have a look

Attol

I told my boyfriend I was bi and he was ok with it. It was so nice to share that with him as it was something that I was scared of at the time. I got used to the idea though and now we're totally open about pretty much everything. Just try explain to her. It may seem like it's scary but it's best to let her know. Honesty is important in relationships. If you need to experiment explain this to her. She may be more understanding the you think. If you've been together for 4 years you should be able to share anything.

Stark

Okay, there was a load of people posting crap here so I moved all that to the Thunderdome.

Next person to post crap / off-topic stuff here gets a ban.

memphis

Stark wrote:

Okay, there was a load of people posting crap here so I moved all that to the Thunderdome.

Next person to post crap / off-topic stuff here gets a ban.

Sorry, my fault that! Won't happen again!

memphis

can't see that phone number stayin there too long, Mod will ban your ass (no pun intended), most of the posts were scrapped cos of replies like that.

damien

Don't worry David1983, even if they delete your number I've posted it on Gaydar, Trannydar, the Queer.ie personals and a good few more sites. Best of luck with the replies !

swiss

Thought police to the scene.

I think this discussion has moved on from whether it is acceptable, morally or otherwise for the original poster to meet up with guys with or without the consent of his girlfriend and gone to the realms of other guys putting up contact details. If only I should be so lucky.

I feel strangely divided about this issue. On one hand I appreciate how it may be tricky for some gay guys and girls to meet up with other like minded people, but on the other I don't see this as some sort of service that this vbulletin service should offer. Offhand I can't think of a single vbulletin site in the mould of boards.ie that does - not that my knowledge extends to that many vbulletin sites of course.

On the other hand I can list off a few gay dating websites that are specifically designed to do just this, and I'm sure a quick search on google will reveal a lot more. If anyone is seriously interested in a hookup then their chances are significantly better using these targeted resources than this one right here.

This isn't just my call, of course. Ultimately it is up to the admins to decide on whether or not it is appropriate to allow users to solicit or proposition other users through the boards (whatever happens in a private message is of course private). However from my recollection, I don't think they would be thrilled about the idea, and frankly neither am I.

Personally, I would consider boards members linking to their dating profiles in their boards profiles to be an acceptable compromise - as long as those links are relatively clean since minors surf this site. However, I will take this matter under advisement.

ixoy

FWIW, I'm certainly not for this forum becoming a dating agency or people soliciting in threads. As Swiss said, there's plenty of websites to cater for those people who wish to try and find a date, other gay/bi friends experiment with "no strings fun", etc. Anyone should be able to find thes with just a cursory go at google and they've got plenty of members too - probably far better chance of finding someone along your lines than on boards.

I'm not going to automatically close down these threads either - I'm not the thought police (quite). Only if the posters are clearly forgetting boards.ie is a family forum at times should that happen...

Pet

Insert name wrote:

I have a girlfriend of 4 years, but when i was younger, myself and a friend used to **** and suck each other while looking at porn.

What i really want to do is suck and **** another guy to see how i feel, because i think i may be bi. When i look at porn i always end up looking at the cocks and gay porn aswell as women. But i cant join clubs or anything to meet men cos i dont want to loose my girlfriend. I try want a few hours with a guy in bed to see how i feel after.

Im so confused, any ideas?

Thanks

P.S. im not a troll, even though i come across as one lol

Before you do ANYTHING, you're first gonna have to gently broach it with your girlfriend. And even if she seems like the accepting type, don't expect her to be cool with it. If you've been with her for 4 years without her knowing this, she might take it very badly, because she might feel like you've been lying to her all this time.

Secondly, even if she does take that news well, I doubt she'd be cool with you experimenting with guys. Safety issue aside, it's something that she's gonna be left out of, and even if she tells you she's okay with it she probably won't be.

Where do you see the relationship going? If it's a longterm thing and it's going well then you have to weigh up your desire to "fool around" with how much the relationship means. It's a funny type of cold feet I guess. If you had fallen in love with another guy, then that's completely different, and much more imperative. But just wanting to experiment, even with men, is not a reason to end a good relationship, unless you find yourself completely distracted by it.