revenge

stu_69

Beckham, Keane and Ferguson are all trapped on the roof of a burning building. The Fire Brigade duly arrive and hold out the big blanket for the guys to jump onto.
They are understandably all a bit nervous but, being a brave lad and the club captain, Keane goes first. At the last second, the firemen whip the blanket away. Keane splats on the pavement, dead. Still giggling, the firemen shout to Ferguson to go next. He jumps, they move the blanket, he makes a pancake on the pavemant, high fives all around from the firemen. Last to go is Beckham. But he's not having any of it....
"You'll move the blanket" he shouts.
"No we won't" they reply. "It's no good, I don't trust you. You'll move the blanket again" shouts Becks.
"Come on, jump you fool" they shout.
"Well, alright" he replies. "But I'm not jumping until you put the blanket down and move away from it......"

---

David Beckham, Dwight Yorke and Roy Keane are having a five minute break toward the end of training one day when Keane tells the others he's noticed that Fergie slips away at least an hour before the end of every training each day. The group look around and notice that they are basically left without supervision for the last hour of training, so collectively decide that the next day they too would slip off early once Fergie had left.

The next day after a gruelling session the three stars watch as Fergie slips away a good hour before they are due to finish. Ten minutes later, as soon as Fergie's Bentley disappears out of the training ground Beckham, Yorke and Keane run into the changing rooms, get changed and speed off in their respective supercars.

Dwight Yorke decides to go for an early slap-up meal, while Roy Keane decides to go to the bookies. Beckham meanwhile decides to go home for some quality family time.

On entering the drawing room to his mansion, he peeps down the hall and is horrified to catch sight of Sir Alec giving Posh Space 'a right good seeing-to' - in the middle of the living room rug!

Without saying a word or making a sound Beckham quietly slips back out to his car and goes for a long, long drive.

The next day the three players join up for the days training.

Dwight Yorke tells them that he had a fantastic slap-up meal and a rare early night with the missus, and that he now felt really great.

Roy Keane too says he had a great time, had won loads of money on the gee-gees and wanted to do the same thing again today.

Beckham though, looked worried, and said 'No way lads, I nearly got caught by the manager last night!'

---

David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank,

"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.

"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".

"Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".

"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"

"Why do I need help to donate sperm?" asks Beckham.

The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless w4nker..."

[This message has been edited by stu_69 (edited 11-08-2001).]

[This message has been edited by stu_69 (edited 11-08-2001).]