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Two guys are talking ...

  • 01-08-2001 7:44am
    #1
    Narf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭


    Two guys are talking ...
    > >
    > > One says "Did your hear the news - Our mate is dead!"
    > >
    > > "My God, what happened to him?"
    > >
    > > "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he
    > arrived
    > >
    > > outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the
    > pavement
    > > and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof - Went
    > flying
    > > through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
    > >
    > > "Jaysus, what a horrible way to die!"
    > >
    > > "No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's
    > landed in > my
    > > upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor.
    > Then, > he
    > > spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches
    > up for
    > > the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up
    > when
    > > bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him,
    > crushing > him
    > > and breaking most of his bones."
    > >
    > > "Sweet Jesus, what a way to go, that's terrible!"
    > >
    > > "No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the
    >
    > > wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull
    > himself
    > > up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he
    > goes
    > > falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken
    > banister
    > > poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right
    > > through > > him."
    > >
    > > "Christ, now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
    > >
    > > "No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the
    > > downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the
    > kitchen,
    > > tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of
    > > boiling
    > > hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most
    > of his
    > > skin off him."
    > >
    > > "Man, what a way to go!"
    > >
    > > "No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He's lying on the
    > ground,
    > > covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull
    > himself
    > > up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and
    > pulls the
    > > whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix
    > and so > he
    > > got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
    > >
    > > "Now that is one awful way to go!"
    > >
    > > "No no, he survived that, he ..."
    > > "Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
    > > "I shot him!"
    > > "You shot him? What the f**k did you shoot him for?"
    > >
    > >
    > > "He was wrecking my ****ing house."
    If you've got a flute then blow it


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