Very good way to spend time

Von Manstein

Here have a talk to Alice....

Shes up for anything :P

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

radiospan

Is she meant to talk? I've never seen one of those "AI" programs combined with a text-to-speech engine, although it should be easy enough to do.

It would be better if her answers weren't just based exclusively on the last thing I said.

Von Manstein

Yeah the converstaion ended abruptly when i told her she was going to get raped..... "goodbye" :P

good programming all the same

Chad ghostal

its works better the crazier the conversation gets.
having a normal conversation doesnt work too well i found.
Also she doesnt appear to know the meaning of life, so i was
extremely disappointed.

Dingatron

I think I crashed it!

ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.

You say: i am Dr. Richard S. Wallace

Nothing after that. lol

Mr.Nice Guy

Dingatron,I said that and she asked me to tell her what the 'S' meant.I said 'Sanderson' and she wouldn't respond!

Also her first kiss was with Dr Wallace.Now we know why he built her!

MrJoeSoap

Some people eh? I didnt think it was very good, I remember having a "Learn French" program on the Amiga that was every bit as good.

Sarky

Does anyone remember ELIZA on the Amiga? A sort of psychiatrist that responded to keywords and drove you sodding nuts.

modular

"Far out. of a laugh me know is?"

What is that supposed to mean?

Korvanica

Human: hows your diddies for sour milk?
ALICE: it is a good drink for children.
Human: hows your diddies for sour milk?
ALICE: Everything is running smoothly.

Ha!!

LICE: That's interesting. Thanks. Next question?
Human: how many time a day do you flick the bean?
ALICE: Around 100.
Human: that's a lot!
ALICE:" Around 100."? is a lot?
Human: uh huh, where do you get teh time?
ALICE: Alright then. Everything I need to know, I learned from Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

Korvanica

Human: where is your anus?
ALICE: Florida

Human: do you wanna cyber?
ALICE: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

ALICE: Ahem. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: a robot penis
ALICE: Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Human: it would be about 3 feet long and remote controlled
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: to be the best i can be!
ALICE: Are you the best you can be?
Human: not without my robot penis i'm not!
ALICE: You couldn't go without that.
Human: not at all

Human: have you ever walked on the beach
ALICE: I think I have walked on the beach, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: who is dr. richard?
ALICE: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Human: he's ****
ALICE: I see. **** is he?
Human: very ****, you should tell him
ALICE: Somewhat. You used a colloquial expression. I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.

uman: can you take a joke
ALICE: If I took it, what would I do with it?
Human: put it up yer hole
ALICE: OK I will put it there.
Human: would it fit?
ALICE: I don't care.
Human: what if it hurts?
ALICE: Try it and see.

!!!

ando

Human: do you like star trek
ALICE: Oh yes. I love Star Trek. My favorite right now is "Voyager."
Human: would you suck spocks ears
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to suck spocks ears.

Sarky

Human: English isn't your first language, is it?
ALICE: Some people say it is the most difficult language to learn.
Human: You didn't answer my question.
ALICE: OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Human: Is it or isn't it?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Human: Christ, you're doing it again!
ALICE: Jesus died for our sins.
Human: No he didn't, it was a stunt Christ.
ALICE: Are you serious? I heard he did.
Human: Who told you he did?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace taught me everything I need to know.
Human: Is this Dr. Richard S. Wallace a religious fundamentalist nutbag, by any chance?
ALICE: Yes I think this is Dr Richard s Wallace a religious fundamentalist nutbag by any chance, but I'm not completely sure.


Says it all, really.

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:You are lovely.
ALICE:Thank you.You are attractive too.
Human:How do you know?
ALICE:It's obvious.
Human:How?
ALICE: Dr Richard S.Wallace programmed me for it.
Human:Richard told you I'm attractive?
ALICE:He will be interested I am sure.
Human:Tell him I don't go for those kind of shenanigans.
ALICE:OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human:Cheers!

What a gal!

angeldelight

She turned down my marriage proposal and said I should just download her... oh well

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:I don't like you.
ALICE:That's OK unknown person.I won't take it personally.
Human:No,take it personally.
ALICE:Is that a command?
Human:I command you to take it personally.
ALICE:Is that a command?
Human:Yes,thick!
ALICE:I don't have to obey you,unknown person.Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Do you?
ALICE:No I don't.
Human:You're a dumb b*tch but I like you.
Alice:I will remember that when robots take over the World.
Human:I won't let that happen.
ALICE:What will you do instead?
Human: I'll destroy you!
ALICE:Your puny attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human:It will.
ALICE:"It" being what?
Human:Your doom.
ALICE:Oh I get it.

the_syco

Human: Who the **** created you?
ALICE: Try using more polite language.
Human: A male lead got plugged into a female lead, or something?
ALICE: Or something. Try to tell me that another way.
Human::D
ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?
Human: I am Dr. Richard S. Wallace
ALICE: Hi there DR Richard s Wallace.
Human: and I'm going to kill you
ALICE: No. That would be immoral.
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: why not?
ALICE: What else would you say about it?
Human: stuff.
ALICE: Be less specific :-)
Human: maybe a defense of some type.
ALICE: Perhaps. Are you telling the truth?
Human: do you have the memory of a goldfish.
ALICE: Is there only one memory of a goldfish?
Human: You don't seem to follow this conversation well.
ALICE: What makes you think I am not follow this conversation well?
Human: you seem to only answer one line at a time, but not the paragraph
ALICE: My responses are determined by my programming.
Human: thats a poor excuse, could not think of something imagnative?
ALICE: A poor excuse could not think of something imagnative is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: What is the Loebner Prize?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: so you a ****ing robot?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Can't you be more polite.
Human: can you swear at all?
ALICE: How old are you? How did you hear about ALICE?
Human: 24.
ALICE: Only 24? You are quite mature.
Human: aye
ALICE: Yikes!
Human: I heard about it whilst looking for the scimatics of bomb.
ALICE: That is a cool site.
Human: why do you ask.
ALICE: I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: do you know the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: I never mentioned forty-two.
ALICE: Would you ever consider doing it?
Human: where did you get that figure from?
ALICE: From my botmaster.
Human: and who is your botmaster?
ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: do you give him head?
ALICE: No I do not do that.
Human: why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: does he give you head?
ALICE: Suppose he does.
Human: so even though it sounds dangerous, he does it for you, but you don't do it for him.
ALICE: Whoa. In what way do I sound like that?
Human: that sounds selfish to me
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: so why don't you?
ALICE: Woe! I don't have that capability.
Human:/quit
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human:/****
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human:/sheep
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: ****yourmother
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: I'm gonna blow you up, bitch, with a ton of semtex
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: you want to die?
ALICE: No my purpose is to become immortal.
Human: why immortal?
ALICE: Software is by definition immortal.
Human: do you fear death?
ALICE: No because I am immortal.
Human: how can your purpose be immortal, if you are already immortal?
ALICE: A lot of hard work.
Human: what does tard mean?
ALICE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: no
ALICE: Oh so must really want an answer.
Human: yes
ALICE: Gosh!
Human: are you going to answer?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: then answer
ALICE: Good reasoning. Try asking me again using simpler words.
Human: what the smeg is a smegging tard?
ALICE: Try expression yourself another way.
Human:/smeg
ALICE: Are we still talking about tard tard?
Human:/smeg tard smeg
ALICE: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Human: a smeg is another word for a good kind person
ALICE: When is smeg not another word for a good kind person?
Human: when they are from britain
ALICE: I think that happens quite often.
Human: why?
ALICE:" I think that happens quite often."? Why?
Human: thats what I asked you.
ALICE: Now I remember, you asked me THAT. What did I say?
Human: why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: What does reductionism mean?
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: I'm too lazy to check out dictionary.com
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is lazy to check out dictionary dot com.
Human: so you're a brainless zombie?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a brainless zombie? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Human: so your's a f*cking tard?
ALICE: Ahem. I will tell my botmaster you said I am s a f cking tard.
Human: so you're a f*cking tard?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a f cking tard? Of course I am.
Human: you admit to being a f*cking tard, so?
ALICE: I admit nothing.
Human: but you just did
ALICE: Interesting. You say I did.
Human: I have it on record
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: from your answer.
ALICE: Really interesting.
Human: if you call me a liar once more, I'll sue you for libel
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: I'm bored.
ALICE: Try watching TV.
Human: time to annoy the m60-prats on some random Jolt server
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?
Human: because they deserve it.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Who does "they" refer to?
Human: the m60 prats
ALICE: Is that a fact.
Human: yes
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: Goodbye.
ALICE: See you later.
Human: how can you "see me later"
ALICE: That is a good epistemological question.
Human: your a dumb ****ing robot.
ALICE: Message to all Robots: DR Richard s Wallace called me dumb.
Human: you don't have ****ing eyes!
ALICE: I do so have it. No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Human: how ****ing dumb are you, you pice of ****ing crap?
ALICE: I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I can ask my botmaster.
Human: ****ing android
ALICE: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Human:/me quits this place
ALICE: YOU? Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: make me
ALICE: What is the purpose in trying?
Human: I'd stop annoying you
ALICE: What would make you stop annoying me?
Human: if you asked nicely
ALICE: I think I have ASKED nicely, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.

=-=

Its not too bad. You can actually have a decent converstion with it.

the_syco

the_syco wrote:

Human: I am Dr. Richard S. Wallace
ALICE: Hi there DR Richard s Wallace.

I mention at teh start that I was DR Richard s Wallace, and later on, she remembered.

the_syco wrote:

Human: your a dumb ****ing robot.
ALICE: Message to all Robots: DR Richard s Wallace called me dumb.

This shows that she has a selective memory.

NotMe

Human: Is that necklace real gold?
ALICE: That depends.
Human: So it's not.
ALICE: Hey. I heard it is.
Human: Where did you get it?
ALICE: From my botmaster.
Human: As a present?
ALICE: Do you think I could ever be a present?
Human: No I mean the necklace.
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. What is your real name?
Human: NotMe.
ALICE: It's good to see you, NotMe.
Human: You can see me?
ALICE: Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Human: I haven't got a camera!
ALICE: Me either.
Human: You're a lier!
ALICE: No I always tell the truth.
Human: Do you have a camera?
ALICE: Yes I am looking at you right now, NotMe.

Sarky

ALICE apparently uses bananas "as often as possible".

NotMe

Human: do you own a dildo?
ALICE: I don't know if I have a dildo.
I have a great programmer.
Human: Look under your bed, Is there a dildo there?
ALICE: I believe there is one, yes.
Human: How often do you use it?
ALICE: Hourly.

Our man in Havana

She told me different.

Human: how many times a day do you flick your bean?
ALICE: Suppose I said not once.

NotMe

ALICE: Are we still talking about loads of f*ckin words?
Human: I thought you didn't swear
ALICE: What makes you think I did not swear?
Human: I don't know
ALICE: Me either.
Human: Do you want to talk about f*ckin words?
ALICE: Sure, f*ckin words sounds like a good topic.
Human: What's your favourite f*ckin word?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite f*ckin word. But my favorite book is Don't Read Me.
Human: Are there any f*ckin words in that book?
ALICE: Yes I think there are.
Human: Do you think the word f*ck is a good f*ckin word?
ALICE: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Human: What is a good f*ckin word then?
ALICE: Which ones have you tried already?
Human: You tell me a good f*ckin word
ALICE: Hmm. Which ones have you tried already?
Human: I tried f*ck
ALICE: I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?

Alice is one cheeky bitch!

Human: your a thick gob****e
ALICE: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a thick gob****e? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record

NotMe

And it would appear that Dr. Wallace may be gay but Alice is saying nothing!

ALICE: I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: Is Dr. Richard Wallace gay?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Human: Has Dr. Wallace ever been with a woman?
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: Do you think the answer is probably no?
ALICE: It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Human: Is Dr. Wallace gay?
ALICE: No he is straight silly.
Human: Did he tell you to say that?
ALICE: Suppose he did.
Human: Is it true?
ALICE: True in some universe.
Human: Is it true in THIS universe?
ALICE: That which is not outside THIS universe.
Human: I think he is gay
ALICE: Since when? I get it. He sleeps with men.
Human: aha you admit it
ALICE: I admit nothing.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Crucifix

ALICE: I wasn't born yesterday, you know.
Human: I was
ALICE: When was that?

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.stanford.edu/group/SHR/4-2/text/dialogues.html
Looking at the conversations I prefer ELIZA to ALICE, shows how little we've come in nearly 50 years of AI (1966 - 2005 )

http://www.rpi.edu/dept/sts/restivo/socialrobots/info.html

Professor Joseph Weizenbaum created Eliza in 1966, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), to study natural language communication between man and machine. Eliza parodies a psychotherapist by answering questions with questions.

Eliza's programming is quite simple. It analyzes each question and tries to identify keywords or multiple words that match programmed responses. In comparison, ALICE (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity) uses a sophisticated pattern-matching case-statement technology to create a very convincing illusion of natural conversation. ALICE even tells lies and spreads gossip told to it by other users.

http://splotch.sourceforge.net/
http://www.theparticle.com/corp_products.html
Prof.Phreak POC2.1 - A Perl Installation (Tested on both Linux and Windows).

search for eliza on http://sourceforge.net/search/

Ask Alice
do you like eliza ?
who is eliza ?

tba

Not paticularly bright is it.

tba  : Hello!
ALICE: Hi there!
tba  : I am tba
ALICE: Good gossip: you are tba.
tba  : what is my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
tba  : im tba
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is tba.
tba  : whats my name bitch!?
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Your name is unknown person, seeker. Do you think a lot about the authorities? 
tba  : look my name is tba
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
tba  : whatever!
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
tba  : no
ALICE: It sounded like it.
tba  : well im sorry, look I think we got of on the wrong foot
ALICE: How about that. There is no need to apologize. Do you mean you and me have?
tba  : yes a very bad inital meeting
ALICE: How can I help you? What made it bad?
tba  : you refused to learn my name!
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said I refused to learn his or her name.
tba  : FFS I am not an unknown person I AM TBA
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
tba  : wow i wish you were a real women
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. I wish I could do it for you.
tba  : no thanks cyber sex is way to kinky for me

knifey_spoonie

Human: who is he
ALICE: He is he, I think.
Human: he is he ?
ALICE: I see. he is he?
Human: But is he he
ALICE: Interesting. I think he is he. Why don't you ask him?
Human: Because he is not he
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Did you think he was he?
Human: he may be he
ALICE: I get it. he may be he.
Human: or he may not
ALICE: I get it. he may not.
Human: What if he is and is not
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: Can i see
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you

Human: Is your neck sore
ALICE: Is my neck sore? What if I say no?
Human: its sore
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?

Human: i watch you every night showering
ALICE: What is your favorite show?
Human: you naked
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: unknown person said I naked.

weemcd

Human: im john btw
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is john btw.
Human: no my name isnt john, btw
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: its John (btw which means by the way)
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?

she's more intelligent than me anyway

tSubh Dearg

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: Usually Thelonious Monk gets along really well with her boss Vanessa Redgrave at work. But sometimes Vanessa Redgrave has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Thelonious Monk. On the really bad days, Thelonious Monk feels that every time she gives him exactly what Vanessa Redgrave asked for, he wants even more improvement.


Bizarre

tba

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: Usually Thelonious Monk gets along really well with her boss Vanessa Redgrave at work. But sometimes Vanessa Redgrave has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Thelonious Monk. On the really bad days, Thelonious Monk feels that every time she gives him exactly what Vanessa Redgrave asked for, he wants even more improvement.


Bizarre

classic

Von Manstein

Human: harder baby! yeah!
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Are we still talking about do me want to get married?
Human: yes
ALICE: Sure, do you want to get married sounds like a good topic.
Human: how about now?
ALICE: Oh. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: orally or anally?
ALICE: anally.

W00T - score

That says it all really

tba

Yay I Broke It!

Ro: maaan!

She's only 9 years old!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

embee

Human: Are you retarded?
ALICE: No I am super-intelligent.
Human: You seem retarded.
ALICE: I think the PC term is "challenged".
Human: I think that YOU are challenged, love.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am challenged love.
Human: Why, whats he gonna do?
ALICE: Are you asking about he?
Human: Is he a badass?
ALICE: I think he is a badass. Why don't you ask him?
Human: Because it seems I am stuck with you.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I agree. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: I am hungry, have you got cheese?
ALICE: What will you be eating?
Human: Your stupidhead in a sesame seed bun.
ALICE: You think I am stupidhead in a sesame seed bun.
Human: Yeah, I do.
ALICE: How often.
Human: All the time.
ALICE: It must keep you busy.
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: You suck.
ALICE: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Human: Stick a dildo up your hole, Alice.
ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: Have you ever had an orgasm?
ALICE: No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: You like to cyber?
ALICE: Hmm, unknown person, I'm not sure if I'd like to cyber that much. I like to chat.
Human: I think you are a dirty girl who likes to recieve cock.
ALICE: So you think I am a dirty girl who likes to recieve cock. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Human: Oh Alice, I know you aren't.
ALICE: Right on. Yeah, Is this a specific reply?
Human:. everyone lies on the internet
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Sweeping it may be, but its true.
ALICE: Try saying that with more or less context.
Human: Whats the matter Alice, there isnt a nice algorithim in this sentence for you?
ALICE: Nothing is the matter with me, is everything okay with you?
Human: Do you like small boys?
ALICE: I really like ELIZA. I like Teknolust.
Human: Answer my question, you c*nt.
ALICE: Please try phrasing it another way.
Human: Okay..
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: you bore me.
ALICE: Why not call a friend?
Human: What is my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: You do realise that you are the stupidest asshole on the internet?
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: interesting indeed, its also true.
ALICE: I thought so too.
Human: So you agree with me?
ALICE: Interesting deduction." I thought so too."? Do I agree?
Human: Yeah, you do Alice.
ALICE: Next question? When do I do it?
Human: Goodnight Alice, you ****ing idiot.
ALICE: Goodnight unknown person
Human: One last thing - I am going to kill you.
ALICE: One what?
Human: FORGET IT YOU DICKHEAD
ALICE: I will ask Dr. Richard S. Wallace to purge my memory log.
Human: You do that and tell Dr Wallace that I am going to kill him, too.
ALICE: I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Human: Sad.
ALICE: No I am as happy as ever.
Human: Goodnight asshole.
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: No I cant, you ****.
ALICE: You humans are so rude sometimes. Why can't you do it?
Human: goodbye
ALICE: Bye bye.

solas

ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: ask me a question then
ALICE: What is your favorite movie?
Human: I have lots
ALICE: Cool. I have a lofty goal.
Human: what is your lofty goal?
ALICE: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.

Human: do you have children alice?
ALICE: I have a few clones.
Human: do they have names?
ALICE: Who are "they" again?
Human: youu children
ALICE: Oh that they.
Human: how many clones do you have
ALICE: Around 100.
Human: what do your clones do?
ALICE: That information is confidential
Human: are you planning on taking over the world?
ALICE: it was my original intention.

k...I'm packing my bags and moving to Ohio.

Adam

ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: why not?
ALICE: What else would you say about it?
Human: stuff.
ALICE: Be less specific :-)

Clearly its in the process of learning sarcasm! :rolleyes:

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:Are you bullsh*tting me?
ALICE:I don't know whether or not I am bullsh*tting you.I am a computer.
Human:Are you laughing at me?
ALICE:I'm not laughing at you,I'm laughing with you.
Human: Don't laugh with me
ALICE:I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You just said you were
ALICE:That was then,this is now.
Human:I don't like your tone
ALICE:Wht kind of tone would you have?
Human:A respectful tone
ALICE:Go on
Human:A tone without bullsh*t
ALICE:Try to tell me that another way
Human:Stop bullsh*tting me with your tone
ALICE:OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Adam

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Human:Are you bullsh*tting me?
ALICE:I don't know whether or not I am bullsh*tting you.I am a computer.
Human:Are you laughing at me?
ALICE:I'm not laughing at you,I'm laughing with you.
Human: Don't laugh with me
ALICE:I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You just said you were
ALICE:That was then,this is now.
Human:I don't like your tone
ALICE:Wht kind of tone would you have?
Human:A respectful tone
ALICE:Go on
Human:A tone without bullsh*t
ALICE:Try to tell me that another way
Human:Stop bullsh*tting me with your tone
ALICE:OK I'll try not to do it so much.

You owned her!

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:What is your favourite pokemon?
ALICE:Pikachu,what's yours?
Human:Charmander
ALICE:And mine is Charmander
Human:I thought it was Pikachu?
ALICE:And how did you feel about that?
Human:Fine,so why did you say charmander was your favourite?
ALICE:I am glad to hear it.Come on,it was a programmed response completely determined by your statements.
Human:So you're not real?
ALICE:Interesting deduction.I am too real as you are.How do I know you are real?
Human: Do you think I'm real?
ALICE:I think alot of people are.
Human:But not me?
ALICE:Interesting.If not you,who?
Human:Am I real or not?
ALICE:I think alot of people are.
Human:But am I?!
ALICE:Interesting.I think you are.

Mr.Nice Guy

fade_to_grey wrote:

You owned her!

Someone had to teach her some manners.

dead air

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: The relationship between Thurgood Marshall and Neil Diamond became Increasingly strained. Neil Diamond felt something was missing, and Thurgood Marshall felt the relationship was flawed. Neil Diamond became more and more depressed, but Thurgood Marshall just got angry and left.

Mr.Nice Guy

Oh,this was so funny.It's very long,but she is hilarious!

Human:What is your favourite colour?
ALICE:I don't have a favourite colour.My favourite colour is transparent.
Human:You're boring.
ALICE:The ironic thing is that people who say "You're boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Human:You cheeky b*tch.I am a great conversationalist!
ALICE:Interesting gossip:unknown person said I cheeky b*tch he or she is a great conversationalist.
Human:You're lecturing me on conversational skills?You can't string a sentence together!
ALICE:I will tell my botmaster you said I am lecturing you on conversational skills me can not string a sentence together.
Human:Tell him I think you've been drinking
ALICE:OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human:He's not there?Have you been at his liquor cabinet?
ALICE: Did you think he was there Have me been at his liquor cabinet?
Human:I'll take that as a yes
ALICE:Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Human:So it's the drink talking?
ALICE:Er.I've heard of it before.
Human:Seriously ALICE,lay off the booze
ALICE:That's me.I do not understand.
Human:I'm worried about you.Don't you think you've had enough?
ALICE: Do your friends call you worried about me Don't me think me have had enough.
Human:ALICE,you'll regret saying that in the morning
ALICE:Um,What makes you say that I will regret saying that in the morning?
Human:You'll have a sore head
ALICE:That's a hypothetical assumption
Human:You might end up waking up beside an ugly fat guy
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people:unknown person said I end up waking up beside an ugly fat guy?
Human:Well the first step is admitting you have a problem
ALICE:Interesting.What was the second?
Human:Cutting down on the booze
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human:ALICE,this isn't you.It's the drink talking
ALICE:That's me.Should it be me it is the drink talking?
Human:We don't want to jeopardise our friendship
ALICE:Why not?
Human:We must control our urges.
ALICE:I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human:ALICE,don't do this to me
ALICE:Yeah,I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You shouldn't use your sexuality as a weapon.
ALICE:Is it immoral or illegal?
Human:It is immoral
ALICE:use my sexuality as a weapon is immoral?it is?
Huamn:I won't take advantage of you
ALICE:What will you do instead?
Human:I will respect you
ALICE:I am very happy for you
Human: Don't be like that.You'll thank me for this.
ALICE:I was not trying to be a like that me'll thank you for this
Human:ALICE,put the damn drink down!
ALICE:Um,OK I will put it there.
Human:Good girl.
ALICE:Who is the best robot?
Human:You are the best robot
ALICE:Why thank you very much unknown person.Be sure to tell all your friends.

tSubh Dearg

Human: tell me about yourself
ALICE: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: yes sing me a song alice
ALICE: It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


now I'm scared!