Here mistar, gat any monay?

Kenjd

Being from the South-Side I find this very ammusing and will pass it on to my colleagues
over a round of golf!!!!
rofl
nooiiice wannnnnn

Bard

It's mildly amusing, but a bit short for a thesis, and I doubt it got top marks in a college project somehow...

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Bard

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

TheWolf

Ha, take it stupid Dubliners... wait a minute, im from Dublin... 'Ere, fisty ye muppet, il fueken buirst ye ye lil bollix... Good one

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"Some would say the refridgerator is half full, some would say half empty, I simply say WHO ATE MY PIZZA!!!"

smoke.me.a.kipper

LMAO!

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i invented '.com'

GreenHell

Ha.

Xterminator

Leave my silky tracksuit out of this!!!

azezil

hee hee hee

fisty

Dublin - the true story

A Corkonian thesis from a UCC final year project which received a 1H1.

Dublin was founded in the 8th century by the Vikings, when they realised
that the best way to cause lasting damage to the country was to build what
leading Viking at the time, Hagyar Ringsend, termed "A ****hole for the
ages".

This statement was proved true over time. Luckily for the rest of
Ireland,Dublin is located on the East Coast. This means that the
prevailing southwesterly wind generally takes the smell across the Irish
Sea to Britain. In the 1950's Britain retaliated by building Sellafield
nuclear power station. The Irish Sea is now one of the cleanest in the
world, the radiation from England and the filthy pus and bile from Dublin
nullifying each other. It is a pity for us all that Dublin is not located
50 miles further east.

However, many "Dubs", or "Gob****es" as they are known to the rest of us,
would go even further! This is because Dublin is all that remains of what
was once called "West Britain". Dublin people share many characteristics
with the English people, including an amazingly low alcohol tolerance,
ridiculous accents and the ability to get into a barroom brawl with Mahatma
Ghandi and Mother Teresa. Indeed, many young Englishmen come to Dublin for
"stag nights"- not for the nightlife, but because all of the
sluts there are falling over themselves to be impregnated by anything with
a foreign accent in order to claim "choil'benefih'", or "children's'
allowance" as it is called in the civilised world. But beware! Dublin beer
is much more expensive than ordinary beer. This is because it is watered
down with expensive mineral water. You see, due to Dublin being a
pox-ridden eyesore, which leaks revolting pus into our beautiful land, they
have no clean tapwater. In fact, 86% of Dubliners don't even know what a
tap is
(the other 14% knew that it had something to do with beer). As a result,
the beer is watered down with mineral water, as I said, and now the average
Gob****e must fork out well over the odds for a pint. But don't let this
put you off visiting cosmopolitan Dublin, where absolute knackers mix
freely with some of the world's snobbiest *******s.

Let the heroin, car theft, annoying whinger *******s, syphilis infested
prostitutes and Europe's crappest traffic system put you if going there
instead. Exits are by road, air and sea only, and are usually quite busy,so
be patient. VISIT CORK. For information on Cork, please contact the tourist
board on 021 343434. It's worth it.

Ah Dublin! Capital of Ireland. Europe's smallest capital and also its
smelliest. Step off a train at Heuston or Connolly station and
breathe in that unmistakable aroma of **** and puke. But it's the people of
Dublin who make our capital city what it is. We call them 'Jacks' because
of a visit to Dublin by Queen Victoria which saw the locals line O'Connell
Street while waving Union Jacks at their visitor. Ask anyone with even half
a brain how many counties there are in Ireland and they will tell you 32.

But not our friends in Dublin. For some bizarre reason they firmly believe
there are only two:

1)"Dooblin"
and
2)"dowen da coontry".

Next time you're in Dublin, check out the excellent selection of Radio
Stations, both of which play the same five songs all day.
Whether it's 98fm or 104fm, tune in at any time of the day to hear Robbie
Williams and The Lighthouse Family. You'll never get tired of it !!!

Anyway, here are the ten most asked questions about Dubs.

1; Why do Dublin people **** in the streets instead of a toilet?
2; Why do they refer to all other Irish people as Sheep Shaggers when we
all know damn well what they're doing with those
horses. A man from Ballyfermot (probably called Anto) recently got divorced
from his cousin so he could marry his horse.
3; Why is their knowledge of Irish geography restricted to "da nart soide
and da sout soide"? Why does their knowledge of Irish history go all the
way back to the 1980's?
4; Why do they complain about "doze bleedin' **** coming over here
taking ere women and ere jobs" when Paul McGrath is yer only man" and "God
Bless Phillo"?
5; What the **** language are they speaking?
6; Why is hurling a culchie game until Dublin win a match when it suddenly
becomes"Hooorlin',da fastest field sport in da leedin'
wooorld".?
7; Why can't they go for a drink without trying to stab each other
afterwards?
8; Why can't they accept Aslan are never going to make it 'cause they're
****e?
9; Why are they all still wearing tracksuits?

(I'm from dublin yet i still found it funny )

[This message has been edited by fisty (edited 19-07-2001).]

Sliotar

lol the tracksuits

Kensai

Didnt find it funny...

TheWolf

rymus

I posted it once and by god I'll post it again... "Cork is the real capitol"

Good man fisty for posting that true to life, almost fly-on-the-wall documentary of yer average dubliner

Bard

actually the title of this thread reminded me of the song "Mista Mista" by Wyclef Jean, - track 16 on The Fugees' album "The Score". Check it out... it's funnier than this thread

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Bard

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.