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100 things...

  • 17-07-2001 4:44pm
    #1
    TheWolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭


    Everyday I give thanks to God
    I was born a man instead of a broad
    When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
    I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
    I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
    Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
    Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
    I use my turn signal, I understand sports

    Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
    Tell you the reason I am
    I don't go through a phase every 28 days
    Man, I'm glad I'm a man

    I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
    Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
    I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
    I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale
    I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
    I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
    I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
    I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass
    I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date
    I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
    When someone asks me my age, I never lie
    After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
    I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
    I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
    I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
    This is the same underwear I wore yesterday

    Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
    Tell you the reason I am
    I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
    Man, I'm glad I'm a man

    Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
    Tell you the reason I am
    I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
    Man, I'm glad I'm a man


    Sanity = normal, normal = majority, majority = pop culture, therefore pop culture = sanity and we are all SO screwed...


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