Expensive Services

TheWolf

The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman. “Can I help you?” the madam asked.
“I want Natalie,” the old man replied.
“Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else...”
“No, I must see Natalie.” Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.
When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: “No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?”
The old man replied, “I’m from Philadelphia.”
“Really?” replied Natalie. “I have family who lives there.”
“Yes, I know,” said the old man. “Your father died, and I’m your sister’s attorney. She asked me to give $3,000 to you.”

---

"Only two things are infinite,
the universe and stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level, where they have all the experience"

TheWolf

Squire

No offence, but if I hear that joke re-hashed one more time, I will scream.

TheWolf

Havent seen it posted here before...

---

"Only two things are infinite,
the universe and stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein

"Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level, where they have all the experience"

TheWolf

Squire

Not sure if it's been posted here before but I've seen and received it about 43,012 times in an infinite variety of forms!! Somewhere out there, some loser is sitting in his parent's basement re-writing jokes and sending them around the world. I want to kill him. With spoons.

Oh yeah

Spoons, eh?


Whatever happened to elegent weapons.

When was the last time cause of death was, say a spork or a chopstick?

Squire

Spoons, you see, would take an extremely long time to kill anyone with. Scooping is not the most feared attack move in the history of fighting. This would however cause said humour-killing person to die a slow and, eventually, criminally painful death.
Yes.

Any other weapon would just be too merciful.

black_wizardd

I haven't heard it before, but then again I do live under a rock (I think).

---

But oh, no tears please, fear and pain may acompany death, but it is desire that sheperds its certainty, as we shall see...