Reading the Signs - For men.

LegacyUser

Sorry to bring another one of these generic topics upon you wise people but i've thought about this one too much, and i need some opinion. I'll try my best to keep it short.

(lol, just read the bold if its too long)

Okay, so i got to know this girl last year with whom i became good friends etc etc. Now, i've never got on with anyone else the same as i've got on with her. It's always joking and messing about when its the two of us are together...constantly. She's also very easy to make laugh, so in turn, i usually feel great and confident when im around her. To add to things,IMO this girl is possibly the best looking girl i have ever known, or dare i say it, seen.

Well anyway, when i first knew her, i fell for her. Unfortunately, i didnt take my chances (apparently) and she got with another chap who turned out to be a bit of a sap. So while she was with him, i got along with things and wasnt as much around her etc. etc. So anyways, after a year she broke up with him and straight away we started talking again.

Which brings me up to now and inevitably i've fallen for her again.Big Time.Im telling you, I tried not to, but a friend of mine suggested i should look into it ( i never said to him i was intrested so it was a bit of a shock to hear it from him), and me being the idiot started to believe him. He said to me that he thought that she treated me different to all her other fella friends.TBH, things do seem different between us this "friendship" around and as far as i know, we seem to get on with each other uniquely! And i've found myself being alone with her a lot. Today for example, we had an exam, and ended up wandering off into town and just siting around having a laugh for a few hours. This has happened a few times. Then i find myself talking to her a lot over the net, again messing about. So i keep thinking "maybe there is something" and then follwed shortly after by "cop on-out of your league". I keep weighing up "the signs" but its impossible to know if these are her being friendly or her being intrested signs as she is far from a flirty girl.

Being the wuss i am, im GREATLY afraid of putting a foot out in fear of hitting the floor. Even to the extend of asking her into town or anything.
I have the underlying fear of me here, scrutinizing all the details and looking for advice on the net, while she sits at home oblivious to the fact im head over heels for her and has no intrest what so ever.That really wouldnt be nice.

So i need some female input, is there a subtle way to go about these things. Is there way to know?!

Well,sorry for a some what pathetic situation on my behalf but this has been driving me mad and it's good to get it out. Any advice is welcome

Thanks

Sleepy

The one piece of advice I'll give you here is some advice I was given as a teenager that's stood me well in the past: there is no such thing as out of your league.

Beruthiel

he who dares, wins!

ChRoMe

You sound like your a friend which usually means that there is .001% of her ever looking at you in a different way. Your time with her came and went (and you didnt seize it)move on.

WhiteWashMan

Pen wrote:

Sorry to bring another one of these generic topics upon you wise people but i've thought about this one too much, and i need some opinion. I'll try my best to keep it short.

(lol, just read the bold if its too long)

Okay, so i got to know this girl last year with whom i became good friends etc etc. Now, i've never got on with anyone else the same as i've got on with her. It's always joking and messing about when its the two of us are together...constantly. She's also very easy to make laugh, so in turn, i usually feel great and confident when im around her. To add to things,IMO this girl is possibly the best looking girl i have ever known, or dare i say it, seen.

Well anyway, when i first knew her, i fell for her. Unfortunately, i didnt take my chances (apparently) and she got with another chap who turned out to be a bit of a sap. So while she was with him, i got along with things and wasnt as much around her etc. etc. So anyways, after a year she broke up with him and straight away we started talking again.

Which brings me up to now and inevitably i've fallen for her again.Big Time.Im telling you, I tried not to, but a friend of mine suggested i should look into it ( i never said to him i was intrested so it was a bit of a shock to hear it from him), and me being the idiot started to believe him. He said to me that he thought that she treated me different to all her other fella friends.TBH, things do seem different between us this "friendship" around and as far as i know, we seem to get on with each other uniquely! And i've found myself being alone with her a lot. Today for example, we had an exam, and ended up wandering off into town and just siting around having a laugh for a few hours. This has happened a few times. Then i find myself talking to her a lot over the net, again messing about. So i keep thinking "maybe there is something" and then follwed shortly after by "cop on-out of your league". I keep weighing up "the signs" but its impossible to know if these are her being friendly or her being intrested signs as she is far from a flirty girl.

Being the wuss i am, im GREATLY afraid of putting a foot out in fear of hitting the floor. Even to the extend of asking her into town or anything.
I have the underlying fear of me here, scrutinizing all the details and looking for advice on the net, while she sits at home oblivious to the fact im head over heels for her and has no intrest what so ever.That really wouldnt be nice.

So i need some female input, is there a subtle way to go about these things. Is there way to know?!

Well,sorry for a some what pathetic situation on my behalf but this has been driving me mad and it's good to get it out. Any advice is welcome

Thanks

what makes you think theres an easy way out. i mean, that is what you ar looking for. you are looking for a way to be rejected, and yet still not feel hurt.

there is no way. hints and subtlety do not work. if you have such a good relationship why dont you just ask. or do what most people do, go out, get drunk, and snog her, and you will either be with her in the morning, or ignoring each other.

if shes not into it, she will tell you, but she wont tell you until you ask.

Laguna

Same thing happened to me about 3 years ago. I met the best girl ever and all that, had the chance, didn't take it, she went off with someone else and I have ended up on my own. You should go for it, don't miss the opportunity like I did

memphis

Just ask her out and stop beating about the bush.

Whats the worst thing that can happen if you do ask her out? She'll turn you down, saying you picked up the wrong signals and she just likes you as a friend.

Go for it, go for it, go for it!!!

Zulu

ChRoMe wrote:

You sound like your a friend which usually means that there is .001% of her ever looking at you in a different way. Your time with her came and went (and you didnt seize it)move on.

You couldn't be more wrong. This "ladder" theory means jack, unless your ugly and have little/no personality.
Most girls I've scored have been "friends" before hand.

Confidence my good man, confidence.

ven0m

What is it with guys not having the testicular fortitude to just ask a woman out these days? Sheesh - it's true, the average male has truly been emasculated!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

WhiteWashMan

ven0m wrote:

What is it with guys not having the testicular fortitude to just ask a woman out these days? Sheesh - it's true, the average male has truly been emasculated!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

men think too much sometimes.

this is the only time you will ever hear someone say that.

ven0m

WhiteWashMan wrote:

men think too much sometimes.

this is the only time you will ever hear someone say that.

Jesus Christ - this has to be the ONLY time I've ever agreed with you - but, yeah you're right.... jesus I feel so dirty for actually agreeing with you!!! yyyuuuuccckkkk!!!!!! :eek:


::: ven0mous :::

Altheus

Same deal for me, I told her I liked her after months and months, wasn't to be. Then I told her again a year later... wasn't to be... then I beat myself up about and ruined our friendship.

So lesson learned there then. Act now, and make sure to say ... 'is that your final answer?'

Sometimes you gotta let your cock lead the way into these situations. It's what being a man is all about.

ChRoMe

Act now, and make sure to say ... 'is that your final answer?'

Please tell me thats a joke!

In regards the friends thing yeah there is no "rule" However in my experience and from what I have seen around me that it's not very common for a friendship to change into a relationship. That said stranger things have happened I just wouldnt use it as a way to try and get women thats all.

Altheus

What I mean is that, you have to make sure she's making a final decision, being mates with a girl you fancy is torture if you're not sure if there's a chance.

The final answer thing is purely so you can just flush it out of your head and not let it get to you.

ChRoMe

I think perhaps a different choice of words might come across better dont ya think?

logic1

Altheus wrote:

So lesson learned there then. Act now, and make sure to say ... 'is that your final answer?'

The all new gameshow: "Who wants to be a Virginaire"

.logic.

ChRoMe

lol bastard you beat me to it!

ando

logic1 wrote:

The all new gameshow: "Who wants to be a Virginaire"

hahah, classic

I'm in the same boat as the OP, only that its gone on too long at this stage. There isn't an obvious way of reading the signs in my opinion.

I've been infatuated with a certain girl for 7½ years now and never had the balls to tell her how I feel. Recently I've fallen for her again and was going to ask her out yesterday when she was going to or coming from work, but she's off for the week... dammit.

Have to find a time to say it to her but I hope my chance isn't gone. Could easily be after 7 years.

Message to others: Don't leave it as long as I have!!

$lash

Look at it this way ... whats the very worst possible scenario - she says 'no' at least then you would know and would be able to move on -

The Clown Man

Joke about getting together. Joke all the time about getting together. And if you don't end up with each other on any drunken night then she's not interested.

Laguna

Karsini, do you really think infatuation is the best basis for a relationship?

Rossonero

I like to look at the small signs;

-When talking to her you might use a phrase (e.g. got to meet you real soon!) If you're observant, if she uses those same phrases as you did, it's a sign she was really tuned in to you.

-If you both have loads in common, there might come a point when it's apparent that she is kinda pushing to have more things in common ( Sorry about the wording)e.g. I was talking to a girl I'm real real close to about bands. I told her I liked the Frames and asked her if she knew them. She replied;"No, but I'm sure they're a band I'd really love!"-why would she say that when she hasn't heard them?

-I found that when talking to the girl, she was always smiling more and talking more when we were alone in the corridor at work.

Laguna

Laguna wrote:

Karsini, do you really think infatuation is the best basis for a relationship?

I don't really know, I was told it was infatuation, I never considered if it was or not. I just want to know how she feels, regardless of whether its what I want to hear.

wayfarer

When you do ask her out, dont be all intense (...I cant stop thinking about you... I think I love you...). Thats sure to scare her off.

The easiest thing to do is to go out on the piss together, even if its as friends and with a group. Just dance with her and give random hugs and stuff. Dont buy her drinks but bring her up to the bar for shots, things like that. As long as your a happy drunk (and not all wierd and unnatural about it), you can get away without damaging your friendship. Everyone knows the best excuse ever is "Hey, I was drunk". If she does confront you about it, you can always say "Im sorry but the truth is I do like you qiute a bit..." or whatever

And as for reading the signs. I saw this thing on ITV the other week, Said, that if she played with her hair, she's probably keen. She's playin with her hair, well regularly, So i reckon i could well be in.

Rossonero

On the drunk issue;

When I was out last time with girl x, I noticed she was leaning on the chair rest on the far side from me, and another time she would fold her legs away from me.

After a drink or two, we were holding hands, hugging, etc.
I don't know whether to think it was only the drink acting or there's a spark?

oq4v3ht0u76kf2

I never had much faith in all that "body language" stuff. I'm sure there's merit in it but just because she crosses her legs one way during one pub session or leans on the opposite side of the chair doesn't really mean anything... like, she might just be more feckin' comfortable that way or something... as regards the topic in general the way I see it is you have to ask yourself, "is the juice worth the squeeze?"

If it is, go for it. In this case it sounds like you think it is... if it's not, let it be and move on.

Skank

Dude ask her on a kinda informal date , and go do something fun togeather .
Look if ya dont ask ya dont get simple .
what i will say dont anilise things as it does nothing and takes the fun out of being with her .

look women dont mind being asked out for a drink etc if they are looking at you enough and eyecontect is always there when you talk the main thing is eyecontact after that its uo to your self weather you do it or nor but i would say go for it .....

ps any one no a good way of askin hot chicks out on a date cause im dombfounded

ando

Skank wrote:

ps any one no a good way of askin hot chicks out on a date cause im dombfounded

you go upto her in a drunken state and say 'How U Duin'

REDZ

Redz rule with ladiez is:
if they are touching you alot and leaning in closer, so you can feel their hot sweet breath on you ear(b sure to trim ear hair regular), then you are in with a chance. this shows they are comfortable being close and being intimate with you(and that you don't smell too bad). if your in with a chance really depends on the state and history of your relationship with them tho. so rulz are generally B.S as a rule.