Jealousy?

LegacyUser

My girlfriend of 2 years has serious issues with me having female friends... I have always gotten on better with girls than guys as far as friendships go, and my girlfriend has always had issues with all my female friends. I have never cheated on her, nor has she on me. It takes her an awfully long time to become comfortable with any of my friends, and when she eventually does I've befriended someone else and the whole thing flares up again, its amazingly frustrating! What do I do??? I've never had or expressed any problems with any of her friends even though she would be the same as me in that she would have a majority of male friends, and is also a self confessed flirt, or at least admits that she can come across as flirtatious. How much longer do i put up with this?!

'X'

WhiteWashMan

dontmindme wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years has serious issues with me having female friends...

ok

dontmindme wrote:

and my girlfriend has always had issues with all my female friends.

well, youve known from the start then, so no secrets there

dontmindme wrote:

I have never cheated on her

youre a good man.

dontmindme wrote:

It takes her an awfully long time to become comfortable with any of my friends,

how long is a long time? 2 days? 3 weeks? 6 months?
and by comfortable, do you mean you think she is comfortable, or that she has said something like 'hey, i dont mind you hanging out with that chick?'

dontmindme wrote:

and when she eventually does I've befriended someone else and the whole thing flares up again, its amazingly frustrating!

hang on. you have tell us something here. like what are the times when this happens? so you meet a girl onthe bus on the way back from school, college, work whatever. you say to your girl, 'hey, i met a girl on the bus', and she is unhappy about this?
what are the circumstances opf her being unhappy?

dontmindme wrote:

What do I do???

i dont know, you dont tell us what youve done!

dontmindme wrote:

I've never had or expressed any problems with any of her friends even though she would be the same as me in that she would have a majority of male friends,

so what? relationships are not a tit for tat thing. its not a case of 'im ok with that, so you must be as well. people are all different. if she has issues with female friends, then why dont you just ask her why she has issues with your female friends? i mean do you go out with them on your own?

dontmindme wrote:

and is also a self confessed flirt, or at least admits that she can come across as flirtatious.

hey, she is your girl. if you didnt like her being a flirt, i would have expected you to dump her by now. why should she change what she is for you?

dontmindme wrote:

How much longer do i put up with this?!

what is you are putting up with exactly? we dont know the full circumstances.
and only you can answer your question.

gubby

Yeah!!
what he said.

Zombrex

dontmindme wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years has serious issues with me having female friends... I have always gotten on better with girls than guys as far as friendships go, and my girlfriend has always had issues with all my female friends. I have never cheated on her, nor has she on me. It takes her an awfully long time to become comfortable with any of my friends, and when she eventually does I've befriended someone else and the whole thing flares up again, its amazingly frustrating! What do I do??? I've never had or expressed any problems with any of her friends even though she would be the same as me in that she would have a majority of male friends, and is also a self confessed flirt, or at least admits that she can come across as flirtatious. How much longer do i put up with this?!

'X'

The fact that she is a big flirt around her male friends probably means she has low self-esteam issues, which would also be the reason she thinks you are about to dump her at every corner. To be honest there probably isn't a lot you can do apart from assure her that you are not interested in other girls.

But at the same time, things like this can become self-fufilling prophecies. She is worried you are going to leave so she nags you so much that you say feck this and leave. You might want to very carefully hint at her that she needs to stop obsessing over this because it is damaging your relationship, before it gets so bad that you do actually leave.

Altheus

What you really need to do is make her more her more comfortable around the girls. Also, by the sounds of it, she has trouble making and staying friends with women. This is often due to purely not being accepted, rivalry, bitchiness etc. Maybe it's not just jealousy her for the women, but the fact that you can have a friendly relationship with those women, whereas she cant.

WhiteWashMan

Wicknight wrote:

The fact that she is a big flirt around her male friends probably means she has low self-esteam issues,

?
theres one out of left field! i'd like to know why you think that. im a big flirt, and i have lots of confidence. far too much some would say

Wicknight wrote:

, which would also be the reason she thinks you are about to dump her at every corner.

and he said that where?
or did you just make that up?

Wicknight wrote:

But at the same time, things like this can become self-fufilling prophecies. She is worried you are going to leave so she nags you so much that you say feck this and leave.

you *are* just making this up arent you. i cant see where any of this is said in the original post!

Wicknight wrote:

You might want to very carefully hint at her that she needs to stop obsessing over this because it is damaging your relationship, before it gets so bad that you do actually leave.

thats right, shes obsessing.
the girl has a problem with his female friends. we have no idea what the situation is with these people, so i dont see how you can say that the fault is with her.
what if this bloke has a bunch of female lap dancing friends whom he goes out with every weekend with, without his girlfriend.
do you think in that situation she has a right to be a little upset over it?

or do you think he goes to the pub where he is chained to the seat and she snarls at any females, including the waitresses, who come near him?

oh, and what good is a hint?
why not say it directly? after all, if you hint, you may get the answer that she thinks you are looking for. if you ask directly, you cant possibly get an answer that you didnt ask for.

if she has a problem with female friends, then they both have a problem, and they both need to work it out.