Physco?

LegacyUser

Hi. Sorry if this doesnt make a lot of sense written down. Baisically its about an old neighbour/kinda friend of the family. Lets say his name is 'J', same age as my dad, 39. Im 15. He has been doing some work at our house a little while back, as we've built a new house and j is a painter/decorater,he also puts the tiles in the bathroom and kitchen ect so he has done all that for my dad. May be all innocent enough but hes sort of weird in my opinion. He was going out with a gal called 'M' who was a bit older than him, but while he was with her he asked my mum to leave my dad,mum was taken aback, and told my dad. He always slagged me while he was doing the work at home when i was there, saying that he'd give me a 'birdie' and 'snog my face off', saying i had gorgeous legs, that i didnt need make up, and when i told him to get lost he used to reply youll never been as goodlooking as your mother....all fair enough anyone can have a laugh but here for the physco part.... a week after he split up with 'm' he sent me an ABSOLUTE MASSIVE bunch of flowers, florist delivered them and everything, house was full! Was morto,rang to tell him to fu(k off, was livid at the time, when i got through to him though he seemed dead serious, saying how he dumped marrian because she didnt understand him,how he was young at heart blah blah blah.... i hung up on him then. He then got my mobile number off my cousin and statrted texting me, saying i love you honey and lots of xxxxxxx's, i know he might have just been messing but how and ever, laura(cousin) kept saying oh j keeps asking about ya. did he ring you after? he let it drop then for a while,, then started to see hm at te bus stop,giving me lifts home, this was nearly every day, used to start slagging me if i said i wanted to wait for the bus, not good in front of my mates. anyhow,he started saying i had gorgeous legs, did i ever think about trying to become a model ect ect, laughted it off as best i could, then he asked if i had tickles, said nope, as im as tickly as hell. he started to pinch (not exactly a pinch but hard to explain, lets just say it was like tickles in your knee, but sore at the same time,) my knee. Then he started asking me if i would like to go with him for 'a drive' to some lakes in mullingar, tried to laugh it of by sayin 'what?you probably wanna drown me' he said no nik, im dead serious, will you come? i said ah no james lakes and sh!t isnt really my style, so he said well we can go shopping and for a cup of coffee insted if you want, got out of that by saying, i dont drink coffee, he kept asking me on the way home, he said 'i was a typical woman, impossible to get a straight answer out of.', he started texting me again kept asking i got thick then and said would you ever fu(k off ya sicko, text me back in a huff saying 'you can fu(k off next time you want a lift home. said he 'didnt think i was like that'. then rang my mum and told her his side of the story, she got onto me about it and i told her full story, she just told me too keep away from him and not to take anymore lifts from him, no matter what.
but lately i meet him around town/outside school, in the park wher i hang out, if hes in the car he sounds the horn, this is really piss!ng me off now as its plain scary. i got my boyfriend (17) to ring him and tell him 6to get lost, but j wont ans the phone.
Paul, my best friend (18), said if he ever sends me flowers again that he will killl him. any advise just to make him get lost without being rude again.
sorry for this being so long ang thanks if you are still reading.
nikki
xxx

iguana

What he's doing sounds to me like harrasment, save the messages he sends you and keep a diary of any time he contacts you and what he says. Show this to your parents, or if you really don't want to tell them go to the Gardai. You have a right to live your life with out him hassling you and I would guess that a no-nonsense visit from a guard or your parents would make him stay away from you. If you have his messages and a record of the time he hassled you then it would show your parents or the guards how serious the situation is, and it would leave him very little room to belittle you when he is confronted.

Talliesin

Yep. Everything iguana said.
Get yourself a notebook for this now. Banish any self-doubt. Don't miss a single incident.

SantaHoe

04nikita05 wrote:

Im 15.

Then aren't you a child in the eyes of the law?... and he's almost 40... I would have thought this was a pretty open and shut case.
Frankly I'm surprised your parents aren't taking this more seriously.
Make sure you make absolutely clear to your parents how uncomfortable/scared this is making you and that it's gone beyond a joke and it's creeping you out.
The notebook idea is also good.
If I had a 15 year old daughter and she was being invited for "a drive" by a 40 year old "friend of the family" along with some suggestive comments I'd be getting the Gardai involved, but that's just me.

Sherifu

Get a can of pepper spray too.

pwd

go to police and tell them whats going on.
some girls make stuff up. if people are dismissive of you that is why: they think you are looking for attention not crediting what you are saying. Not because it is acceptable behaviour. It is so unacceptable that these people can't believe it.
This is a very bad man. If he goes near you in public speak very loudly so that people hear that you do not want him near you. It is not a joke. do not pass it off as a joke or having a laugh, although it would be easier to do so than to face the ugliness of the situation.
He is not having a laugh. He is a filthy auld pervert. I've seen the way guys like that go towards girls your age. It is completely disgusting. He will not stop unless he is scared, either by the guards or by someone physically threatening him. It is very important that you go to the guards so that if it does come to the latter then his behaviour will have been on record.

StandnDeliver

get a new number for your phone and tell your mates not to give it out.yeah keep a record of his annoying stuff.Ignore him and never get in his car,deseperate weird men do nasty stuff.

[Jackass]

This guy is possibly dangerous...i would strongly advise avoiding him at all costs, never get in the car/ be alone with him again. He is possibly a paodaphile, he is also stalking you, and what he is doing is illegal. Do what iguana said, and bring it to the police..they will contact him and tell him they aware of what he is doing and give him a very serios warning....don't worry about being rude..your being nieve because he's friend of your familly and your young...don't take this lightly (not trying to scaremongor) but you could be on serious danger from him...if you don't go to the police something unpleasent could happen to you or some other young girl..the police will scare him off you or anyone other young girl. Good luck, keep us posted

limpdd

Are you sure your dad knows about this?
You said this man called your mom to tell her his side of the story, it seems to me a possability that your mam did not tell your dad (maybe because "J" asked her to leave your dad before), because I find it very hard to believe that any father would stand by and let this go on, he should be stringing J up by the bollocks as we speak.

The_Conductor

You're 15, he is 40.
What he is doing is harrasment, at very least.
If your father is not aware of what is happening- tell him NOW!!!
What is happening, is not normal, is not acceptable and to be quite frank is plain dangerous.
The advice from your mother to not accept lifts from him under any circumstances- while good advice- is clearly insufficient.
Keep away from the creep.
I would strongly advise you call into your local Garda barracks and ask to talk informally to their community relations officer. Get advice from the Garda on how to proceed (you do not need to make a formal complaint or anything- you are simply asking for advice). The community relations Gardai are very easy to talk to, very knowledgeable, and will be best able to advise you how to protect yourself.

Above all else- KEEP AWAY FROM THIS CREEP

tinkerbell

Definitely keep away from that psycho. He's a 40 year old coming onto a 15 year old - there is definitely something sick about that - it's obvious from the way you said he goes on about your legs.

Tell your folks first. If they don't do anything, then you go down to the garda station yourself.

b3t4

Hey Nikki,

"same age as my dad, 39. Im 15.

Alarm bells, do you hear them?

"May be all innocent enough but hes sort of weird in my opinion."

Listen to your instinct, it's there for a reason and you'll regret not listening to it. His behaviour is also weird in my opinion and quite a few other posters here. Their is no need to doubt yourself.

"He always slagged me while he was doing the work at home when i was there, saying that he'd give me a 'birdie' and 'snog my face off', saying i had gorgeous legs, that i didnt need make up, and when i told him to get lost he used to reply youll never been as goodlooking as your mother....all fair enough anyone can have a laugh but here for the physco part"

This is not slagging and completely uncalled for behaviour from a 39 year old man towards a 15 year old or anyone for that matter. I can tell you that I'd have more than a few words to say to someone who said a statement indicating how they wanted to "snog my face off". Everthing you have typed about this man has paedophile screaming at me. He has been trying to preen you into being with him. He has appealed to your confidence with comments on how nice you look which is at your age is often a time when we are most unsure of our own appearance. Luckily for you, you are confident enough in your appearance to not take too much notice of what he is saying.

"used to start slagging me if i said i wanted to wait for the bus, not good in front of my mates."

He has been embarrassing you so that you will take the lift with him which appears to have worked on a few occasions. It appears from your post that you are person who likes to please and who doesn't like to cause arguments if at all possible. He is using this knowledge to get you to do things which you would not normally do. Be adamant that you will not take a lift from him, be firm and decisive with your decision and leave him no room for a come back. Ever played the cold hearted bitch?? It's quite fun, you should try it He'll soon get the idea if he gets that reaction every time he has contact with you.

"he started to pinch (not exactly a pinch but hard to explain, lets just say it was like tickles in your knee, but sore at the same time,) my knee."

He was testing the water to see if you would allow him to touch you. At this point, I would strongly recommend that you go to the Gardaí. He is more than likely known to the Gardai as he has probably done something similar to this in the past. Also, I would be worried about where he intends on this to go next. Please, try to ignore him at all costs.

"he said 'i was a typical woman, impossible to get a straight answer out of."

Statements like you're a "typical woman" are quite dangerous statements as he sees you as a woman and not a 15 year old. I know how it's great to hear that you are a "woman" rather than just a "girl" when you are 15, he is trying to leverage this for his own advantage. Any anyways, you have a boyfriend.

"any advise just to make him get lost without being rude again."

Be as rude as hell and enjoy ever minute of it. Nobody is allowed make someone else feel as uncomfortable as this man has made you feel. I cannot stress strongly enough for you to go to the Gardai. A man like this will only be put off by a figure in authoriy giving him hassle. Also, you will find that this kind of man is a coward and any sign of hassle will get him to back off as he will see you as too much trouble and will more than likely move on to another victim.

You are a very fortunate and mature girl wheither you realise it or not is another thing. You are fortunate in the fact that you have not been taken in by any his comments. When your mum came and spoke to you about his phone call to her she believed your story over his, this does not happen in some cases.

Best of luck,
Take Care,
A.

koneko

Take note of everything and take it to the guards, along with the text messages. They'll have a word with him at the very least and that should stop it.

To be perfectly honest he sounds like a pervert, and you're better off doing something about it now before he comes back and starts harrassing you more (or worse). Report him.

Static M.e.

Jebus what a psycho ! Your only 15 !
let me change that, what a perverted psycho.

Best advice I could give is (after you have read all the good advice above, re-read b3t4's) instead of some pepper spray I carry a stick in your bag and if he comes near you stick it in his leg and twist.

That will
A: Give you time to run,
B: be slow him down
C: it will hurt alot, it will also leave his blood every where so he cant deny anything.

I wouldn't flash it or anything or ever let him know you have it but if the worst ever comes to the worst use it

ThenComesDudley

sounds like a psycho

Sleepy

Static M.e. wrote:

Jebus what a psycho ! Your only 15 !
let me change that, what a perverted psycho.

Best advice I could give is (after you have read all the good advice above, re-read b3t4's) instead of some pepper spray I carry a little knife in your bag and if he comes near you stick it in his leg and twist.

That will
A: Give you time to run,
B: be slow him down
C: it will hurt alot, it will also leave his blood every where so he cant deny anything.

I wouldn't flash it or anything or ever let him know you have it but if the worst ever comes to the worst use it

For the love of Jeff, don't even think about following that advice, even the smallest of blades can sever the femoral artery. You'd be risking killing the fecker. Sure, a guy that's behaving as badly as he is has a pretty poor claim to being a worthwhile human being but you'd be destroying your own life if you killed him.

The best advice is that which has been given to you a few times on this thread already: tell your dad. He'll most likely hit the roof. If that doesn't work, go to the cops.

RossFixxxed

Jesus no wonder these guys get away with it. He's a ****ing sicko, but one who is obviously nervous, and still grooming you.

Tell your dad, take NO lifts, never be alone with him. If you have to talk to him, NEVER smile at him or engage in any jokes.

Go to the cops if needs be. Let us all know what happens!

Ross

Gordon

Static M.e. wrote:

Jebus what a psycho ! Your only 15 !
let me change that, what a perverted psycho.

Best advice I could give is (after you have read all the good advice above, re-read b3t4's) instead of some pepper spray I carry a little knife in your bag and if he comes near you stick it in his leg and twist.

That will
A: Give you time to run,
B: be slow him down
C: it will hurt alot, it will also leave his blood every where so he cant deny anything.

I wouldn't flash it or anything or ever let him know you have it but if the worst ever comes to the worst use it

Static M.e. do not advocate violence with intent to maim on this board please.

Dr. Loon

What everyone else is saying. He's a weird mofo. Also... paragraphs. Try them out.

the_syco

Tell your Dad. I'm sure you Dad will have words. Either that, or he'll have a word with the Gardai.

If the perv tries to slag you off in front of your friends to get you into his car, use it against him. Try screaming, top of your voice "F*CK OFF YOU BLOODY DISGUSTING PERVERT!!!". He won't go near you again.

Also, learn self defence. Not only is it good craic, but you could also learn how to seriously kick the sh|t out of him if he tryed anything. I'm not trying to "advocate violence with intent to" harm, but in the world we're living in, you can't be too careful.

=====

If someone (his age) did something like what you said to my little sister, I'd ensure that they (the perv) got the message, on how to stay away.

Dave_Hasselhoff

HE gave YOU flowers!? When I'm in Germany, kids give ME flowers!

Static M.e.

Sorry Gordon, Sorry Orig. Poster

Got annoyed.

The Clown Man

Tell all your friends about the guy too - make sure everyone you know knows about it. And so any time he is around you everyone else can tell him to **** off as well. And there's no embarrasment about some psycho perving on you.

sceptre

WhiteWashMan wrote:

there you go with your hugh grant fetish again....

but i was never sure if it was about his relationship with the mother, or with the child that it was all about?

Er, himself? He grew up, the kid grew down.

Static M.e. wrote:

instead of some pepper spray I carry a stick in your bag and if he comes near you stick it in his leg and twist.

And you picked up that little titbit from what movie? (I know it's one I've seen editNever mind, it's Face Off)

As everyone else is saying, this behaviour from yer man is inappropriate at best and downright perverted at worst.

Sleepy

The clown man makes a very good point here. It sounds like you live in a small town. Get word out about this pervert. Scandal travels very fast in a small town and he'll be sent to coventry pretty quickly.