Cyber sex (Warning Explicit, if you are under 18yrs of age or one of them chicks that

Canaboid · 24-04-2001 1:41pm #1

s easily offended please close your eyes.

Sorry for the formatting but I cant be ar$ed tidying it up.

>
> >As all of you are well aware, online computers are often used to engage
in
> >cybersex. Detailed and erotic fantasies are typed into the computer to be
> >instantly transmitted over the Internet.
> >Sometimes these harmless fantasies become fairly raunchy.
> >This is not the case with the following transcript of an actual on-line
> >cybersex session.
> >Either this guy is clueless or has the greatest sense of humour known to
> >mankind.
> >
> >
> >Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
> >
> >Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
mini
> >skirt and high heeled boots. I am tan and very buffed. I work out
everyday.
> >My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm 6'3“ and about 125 kilos. I wear glasses and have on a pair
> of
> >blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old
T-shirt,
> >it's got some barbeque sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
> >
> >Wellhung: OK
> >
> >Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo
> >and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling.
My
> >hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge
> >swelling bulge.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
> >
> >Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
> >
> >Sweetheart:I'm moaning softly.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides
off
> >of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.
> >
> >Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
> >blouse. I'm sorry.
> >
> >Sweetheart: That's OK. It wasn't really too expensive.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
> >breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do
> >you have scissors?
> >
> >Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I reach behind my back
and
> >undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my
> >nipples are erect for you.
> >
> >Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
> >clasp.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby I just want to feel your tongue
> all
> >over me.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts.
> >They're neat!
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your
> >ear.
> >
> >Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
phlegm.
> >
> >Sweetheart: WHAT?
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of
my
> >blouse.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in
> the
> >corner of the room.
> >
> >Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard
> tool.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in
and
> >out and nibbling on you..ummm, wait a second.
> >
> >Sweetheart: What's the matter?
> >
> >Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Are you OK?
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup.
> >Where do you keep your cups?
> >
> >Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.
> >
> >Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
> >now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is
the
> >bedroom?
> >
> >Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
> >
> >Wellhung: I found it.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
> >
> >Wellhung: Me too.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against
each
> >other.
> >
> >Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?
> >
> >Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
> >nightstand.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
> >
> >Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
> >
> >Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
> >toilet and lift the lid.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh!
> >
> >Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
> >
> >Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking
> >back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
> >
> >Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know...thing in your, um, woman's
> >thing.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm
> having
> >a little problem here.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another
second.
> >Slide it in! Screw me!
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
> >
> >Sweetheart: WHAT?
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm limp...I can't sustain an erection.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my
> >face.
> >
> >Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
> >I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.
> >
> >Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my
> underwear
> >and my wet nasty blouse.
> >
> >Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the
> >dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture
> >frames and your candles.
> >
> >Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.
> >
> >Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on
> the
> >curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a shocked look
on
> >my face.
> >
> >Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!
> >
> >Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

Frodo@work · 24-04-2001 1:51pm

very funny, seems a bit premeditated though.

Celt · 24-04-2001 6:27pm

This was posted in another thread very similaryl entiteld.

Da Bounca · 24-04-2001 7:56pm

ROFL
well played

po0k · 24-04-2001 8:13pm

LMAO......

Be honest, how many of ye have had similar experiences, on or off-line???

Kaidos · 24-04-2001 9:23pm

lol

i saw that somewhere before though, duno where

Littletinyman · 24-04-2001 9:28pm

ROFL, brilliant

sUrGe · 24-04-2001 9:29pm

i am crying with the laughfter!!!!!!!

rolf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

that has got to be the greatest story ever told

i am really crying now

ahh!! it hurts

richindub2 · 24-04-2001 9:31pm

It was posted about a week ago in the other "cybersex" title'd thread....

UP DA DUBS!!

strat · 24-04-2001 9:45pm

hehehe tis old alright but tis funneh

i think it was printed in one of the college magazines which are basically one page of jokes and funny pics after another

Hunter-FLUID · 26-04-2001 2:01pm

LMAO at that one.

[NON]mojo · 30-04-2001 2:38pm

did u know that whitelancer is only 15 years old?

hes a friend of my bro.

Austin 3:16 "You stole my mojo!!"

Swifty · 30-04-2001 5:47pm

hehehe

good stuff.

Celt · 30-04-2001 6:39pm

16 yuo pe0n
http://www.boards.ie/bulletin/Forum16/HTML/000832.html

Bomberman · 30-04-2001 9:13pm

I have never read so much in my life!
But i like it

Lucy_la_morte · 01-05-2001 8:13pm

Seen it about a year ago.

Non.

Lucy la morte.

Ry · 02-05-2001 10:49am

ROFLMFAO TEARS outta my eyes all the peeps in netshop are laughing because im laughin so loud rofl they dunno what im on a few even had to come up and check it out LOL.
LMAO ****in hilarious to picture it.

Citer le Cordeau "JennyRooba"