Friend doesn't realise she's attractive

LegacyUser

Ok, this concerns my best friend for about 10 years (lets call her X). Now the thing about X is, she's very attractive. Not in a catwalk model sort of way, more of a glamour model type (I'm serious here, she's blonde, a size 10, a 34E, and a pretty face). The problem is, she doesn't realise this *at all*.

Basically, when we were in school she wasn't what the boys were looking for. The school uniform didn't flatter her, she didn't bother with makeup in school and she was very much into her studies because she wanted to get into medicine. Then when we came to college she lost some weight, started dressing well for her figure, and basically turned into one hot chick. As well as the superficial stuff, she's got a great personality. She's very clever, very funny, very nice to everyone, and very friendly.

Problem being, guys take her being friendly as flirting, and her continuing to be friendly as being interested. She just DOES NOT GET the fact that they're hitting on her, which leads to them thinking she's a tease, or hot and cold or whatever. As well as that, when she is interested in someone, it doesn't enter her head that they're probably gagging for her so she tries not to be too friendly in case she freaks them out, and seems desperate because obviously they couldn't like her.

I've managed to get her to accept the fact that she's pretty, but she still doesn't think people are attracted to her. How do I explain to her that that's what boys are thinking?

Alanna

Don't worry about her, someone clever will come along and cut through the barriers. It's nice that you care but she shouldn't have to change just to attract a bloke.

secret_squirrel

1234 wrote:

How do I explain to her that that's what boys are thinking?

Why do you want to? Is it causing her a problem? If not let her keep her innocence for gods sake. There's little enough of it in this world.

Chinafoot

i have a mate who is an absolute stunner and while shes aware that shes not a minger she doesnt think shes shít-hot or anything.....and to be honest thats part of her attractiveness.....theres is nothing quite so unattractive as somebody who completely loves themselves.

leave your friend be, she looks good and by the sounds of things shes a really nice person. besides if the fella's are really interested they'll let her know.

MickFarr

Alanna wrote:

Don't worry about her, someone clever will come along and cut through the barriers. It's nice that you care but she shouldn't have to change just to attract a bloke.

Exactly!

Sangre

I dont suppose you could tell me her first name....I need to settle my curiousity.

Steoob

well y not get one of your friends who likes her to just plain ask her out, if they go out for a while then maybe she'll feel better and that guys are attracted to her

kasintahan

It's not Michelle by any chance?

azezil

drop your pants and show her just how hot she is!


works for me! *nods thoughtfully*

WhiteWashMan

1234 wrote:

Ok, this concerns my best friend for about 10 years (lets call her X). Now the thing about X is, she's very attractive. Not in a catwalk model sort of way, more of a glamour model type (I'm serious here, she's blonde, a size 10, a 34E, and a pretty face). The problem is, she doesn't realise this *at all*.

Basically, when we were in school she wasn't what the boys were looking for. The school uniform didn't flatter her, she didn't bother with makeup in school and she was very much into her studies because she wanted to get into medicine. Then when we came to college she lost some weight, started dressing well for her figure, and basically turned into one hot chick. As well as the superficial stuff, she's got a great personality. She's very clever, very funny, very nice to everyone, and very friendly.

Problem being, guys take her being friendly as flirting, and her continuing to be friendly as being interested. She just DOES NOT GET the fact that they're hitting on her, which leads to them thinking she's a tease, or hot and cold or whatever. As well as that, when she is interested in someone, it doesn't enter her head that they're probably gagging for her so she tries not to be too friendly in case she freaks them out, and seems desperate because obviously they couldn't like her.

I've managed to get her to accept the fact that she's pretty, but she still doesn't think people are attracted to her. How do I explain to her that that's what boys are thinking?

why do you feel it is your need to get her to understand something?
is this about her, or is it about you?

vibrant

I think it's something for her to worry about, rather than you. It must be frustrating for you to an extent though - and I think it's quite sweet that you're concerned. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll cop on eventually!

weemcd

get in there while ye still can

seriously though, i think WhiteWashMan is right, mabye this involves you more that you think?

tSubh Dearg

This sounds just like a friend of mine. She's always surprised when we tell her so and so fancies the pants off her. Sometimes we have chats about flirting techniques but I don't think she's that bothered overall.

I used to worry about her but now I just leave it. One day she'll notice they're flirting with her.







btw are her initials M.T?? because if so then maybe it's the same person!

Mercury_Tilt

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Doodee

I think someone else is trying to get noticed.

Laguna

Good for her if she's so 'hot'. I get the feeling from the way you write that your friend is actually yourself

CodeMonkey

I get the feeling that your friend knows what's going on and likes the attention but her self confidence is low to openly admit she's hot stuff. She's just probably waiting for one of those guys who seems interested to have the guts to ask her out. Then again what do I know.

Zombrex

Firstly ... whats her number

Secondly, I wouldn't worry about it unless it is upsetting your friend. But it sounds like she is just learning the "Rules of Courtship" ... she will be fine ..

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.