Gender Roles?

Kernel32

I was talking about gender roles for children the other day and I was wondering what peoples opinions are on it.

Kids toys seem to be particularly directed at one gender or the other along with peoples attitudes about what activities a little boy should be doing versus a little girl. A good example I have is with my own son. He is 28 months now and we try and not just pick out toys that are considered boy toys. When he was around 18 months my wife bought him a little stroller(pushchair) because every time he would see one at a friends house he loved to play with it. He used to push his Elmo around in it all the time, he's lost interest in it now though which is normal enough for any toy. He also has a tea set which he loves to play with. He also have all sorts of cars and trucks, bob the builder stuff.

As a parent would you draw the line at a toy or activity for your child? Even if that toy or activity would be considered perfectly fine for a child of the opposite sex? What do you think of toy shops and how you they are laid out? One of the big toy shops (I think World of Wonder) I found to be particularly divided into to boy and girl toys which I didn't like but they all do it to a degree. Personally I don't know where I would draw a line, I try and be open to anything he wants to do or play with. One thing I don't like are toy guns, the idea of playing with something that is designed to kill someone just seems wrong.

Nevyn

We did try with our two kids ( 1 boy and 1 girl) to keep to gender neutral
toys as much as possible but found that little boys will push a slipper arround
going brooom brooooom and little girls will mind what ever teddy they can get thier hands on.

We did have rather uncomfortible xmas where a certain set of grandparents
bought and army outfit toy guns, tanks and soldier for him and a buggy, doll and clothes for her,
she was two and could hardly move the silly buggy. Best to have a range of toys for them.

It is hard to try bring up children to think of people who can do anything they want to in thier lives.
Boys dont have to grow up to be soldiers and girls to be mammys,
it is something you need to talk to your children about when they are 3 to 4
and find out what they think and try explain that they gender roles they
see in the world all around them are not the norm.

We have told our kids they can be nearly anything they want to be when they
group up if the have a talent for it, go to college and work hard they will get there.
( no harm in a 7 year old thinking that going second and third level is just how it is) .

But when traveling home from town with just my 4 year old little girl , i pointed
out to her that there was a lady drivign the bus, as I knew she may have not
noticed and her comment was " oh where is the bus man , is he sick ?"
The Bus driver laughed and told her " no love, this is my bus I am the driver
and you could be one too if you want when you grow up, sometimes Lady drivers are better".

the toy soldiers are still in the house and both of them play together,
one has the green guy the other the dester guys and they go out on mission togheter,
they will also have tea pinics with every toy/teddy in the house in attendace

you can not stop your child from being gender influenced from external forces orr just from being who they are
(my daughter despite my influence is a fairy princess pink and glitter mad child :rolleyes: the universes revenge on an ex goth perharps).
But you can try to ensure that they do not limit themsleves from doing what they want, reaching thier potential ,
following thier dreams because of thier gender. Everyone has feelings, and everychild/person is allowed cry and hug and have small sulks.

Shabadu

My 18 mth old is obsessed with womens shoes- to the point of trying to shoplift a black patent pump with a pink bow from Clarks. After trying to get it on his own foot, trying to get me to put it on him and pointing at it and saying 'this?' repeatedly he gave up and just grabbed it and ran twoards the exit.

If i ever want a few minutes peace i just give him all my high heels.

I think its harmless- would have deep reservations about letting him play with a toy gun though.

mad m

With my son(6) i couldnt draw a line even if i wanted to,he has an older sister(9).He loves Barbie's and all types of stuff to do with dolls,plus he does on occassion play with his Ninja Turtles.Sure what can do you when people buy stuff that they assume is right type of toy for the intended child.As long as they are happy im happy.

cecilwinthorpe

i think any child male or female should be allowed to play with whatever toy they choose regardless of if its considered a boys toy or a girls toy. However i will never let any children that i mind play with guns or swords nor will i let them make either of them out of bricks or lego or anything like that

Ba_barbaraAnne

Thaed wrote:

...

you can not stop your child from being gender influenced from external forces orr just from being who they are
(my daughter despite my influence is a fairy princess pink and glitter mad child :rolleyes: the universes revenge on an ex goth perharps).
But you can try to ensure that they do not limit themsleves from doing what they want, reaching thier potential ,
following thier dreams because of thier gender. Everyone has feelings, and everychild/person is allowed cry and hug and have small sulks.

Well said! I only have boys, but they had dolls and buggys as well as guns and soldiers when they wanted them. As they got older, the school playground seemed to separate them from the girls at about aged 8.

Without a man in our house, and a mum that seems to be able to do everything, they have no problem about who does what. In fact, it sometimes worries me that they don't see me in a good relationship with a man. How will they ever learn how to treat a partner? Will they just expect a woman not to have needs? They have been taught how to help with household chores as it's part of family life, but the lack of a role model for them in the realm of relationships may well lead to problems for them in the future.