Great Questions Of Our Time

steviem

GREAT QUESTIONS OF OUR TIME

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones, or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Can you cry under water?

What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like, every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway.
:rolleyes:

jezza

some are good, another thing i dont get, my uncle works as a dj on radio station, was listening to him one night requests came up and he was k=like 'and a big shout out to the lads driving around the square'
wouldnt think it possible imo........ :rolleyes:

simu

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

An expression of desperation

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

There will probably be sufficient funds at a later date and banks like to make extra profit any way they can.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Twould take a lot more time to count the stars than check the paint.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

It dries on contact with air, normally. Not enough air in bottle for this to happen.

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

To respect the diginity of the prisoner (twisted, no?)

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

He must have shved it off. Or lack of thought on the part of Disney animators.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

TV writers often don't follow the logic of their creations to its full conclusions.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Habit.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

That's how the word happened to evolve in English. It wasn't anyone's idea.

What is the speed of darkness?

There are no darkness particles.

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

Most of the attendees are "normal" (family, organisers etc). The athletes probably get driven by bus as they are to busy preparing to drive on their own.

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

In cardboard boxes.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Convert to fahrenheit to find out. :eek:

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

They didn't - humans and apes evolved from a common ancestor.

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

To help us. But there's no reason to think your maxim is true in the first place.

Do married people live longer than single ones, or does it only seem longer?

Perception of time varies amongst individuals. Some studies have been done on the effects of marriage on lifespan - google to find out more.

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

No.

Can you cry under water?

Yes - you just won't see the tears.

What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Leader or prominent member of a party/government usually. It's somewhat arbitrary.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Because words can have more than one meaning.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Round boxes are harder to manufacture.

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?

The moon fascinates people more than suitcases.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like, every two hours?

Babies sleep soundly while they are asleep, or so many believe.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because it's fun to see the world in miniature from above.

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway.

People might find it demeaning to have someone watch them undress

Cake Fiend

simu wrote:

What is the speed of darkness?

There are no darkness particles.

Ah, but surely darkness must travel faster than light, as no matter how fast light can go, darkness is always there before it!

Blisterman

Well that sucked the fun out of it.

popinfresh

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Because they assume that they may not have pressed hard enough

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Because they wawnt to make money

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because people just take your word for the stars as they have no way of finding out

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

The bottle is designed that way

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

To make it seem as civilised as possible

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Because the film directors didn't take this into account

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

In case there is krypton in the revolver

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

In case their plane goes down in an accident before they get to commit suicide, no use dyin for no reason

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Probably the fiirst person to attempt to spell the word "lisp"

What is the speed of darkness?

Darkness does not have a speed

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

No, there is not..

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

Put as much in the box as possible..

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Going by the kelvin scale it would be -(273/2) (or somthin like that I forget)

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Because the apes that evolved into humans were exposed to a different type
of natural enviorment. We needed to evolve, the apes didn't.

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Every1 else is suppose to return the favour

Do married people live longer than single ones, or does it only seem longer?

goolge it, i'm sure there's statistics out there

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

No, it is a flucked up person

Can you cry under water?

Presumably, although the teers would mix with the water immediately so they would not be seen

What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Usually political importance. IE) JFK was assanated, John Lennon was murdered

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

The word branch is used in a different context here

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

BEcause square boxes are easier to assemble

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like, every two hours?

the phrase is nothing to do with time spent asleep, it is to do with how peacefully they slept

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes, the word "hearing" has a different context that is irrelevent to one ability to hear or not

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

You can see more from the top of a building than u can at ground level

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway.

It would make the patient feel unconfortable/ look pervy if they watched you in the process of stripping off



lol, sorry. But everyone of those were just lame

Adam

*insert simus' post here*

Brilliantly done.

popinfresh

Damn, some1 bet me to it

Adam

*insert popinfreshs' post here*

Pointless, and done with less finesse... i was disappointed.

popinfresh

yes it was pointless, but i did use quote tags if that gets me bonus marks..

breadmonkey

here's one:

Why is my problem never listed in the FAQ?!

StupidLikeAFox

heres one, what would happen if ya were travelling at the speed of light and ya turned on a torch?

Terry

ColHol wrote:

heres one, what would happen if ya were travelling at the speed of light and ya turned on a torch?

if you were going faster than tthe speed of light, then you would know beforehand if the batteries were dead or not.

JoeSchmoe

if you were travelling at the speed of light, you, the torch and the light coming out of the torch would all be light, all matter is turned into light at the speed of light

StupidLikeAFox

JoeSchmoe wrote:

if you were travelling at the speed of light, you, the torch and the light coming out of the torch would all be light, all matter is turned into light at the speed of light

ahhhh. that would suck

steveland?

Sico wrote:

Ah, but surely darkness must travel faster than light, as no matter how fast light can go, darkness is always there before it!

Darkness = Absence of light...


so darkness doesn't move (ie no waves/particles however you want to look at it)


EDIT:

if you were travelling at the speed of light, you, the torch and the light coming out of the torch would all be light, all matter is turned into light at the speed of light

Theory of relativity... if you were in a spaceship going the speed of light and you turned on the headlights the light would go out ahead of you at the speed of light so it'd be theoretically travelling the speed of light squared when actually it's travelling at the speed of light relative to your position.

Jeez im such a nerd

Shane™

simu wrote:

What is the speed of darkness?

There are no darkness particles.

What is dark matter anyway?

steveland?

Shane&#8482 wrote:

What is dark matter anyway?

The stuff that powers the engines in Futurama




But seriously it's matter that can't be effected by light

Adam

And if it could be harnessed as an energy source it would create something like ten thousand times the amout of energy nuclear fission would.... hard to comprehend...

Shane™

steveland? wrote:

But seriously it's matter that can't be effected by light

So in effect there are darkness particles?

Anyone ever seen any?

Adam

No, darkness is an absence of light, dark matter is a "substance".

NotMe

Shane&#8482 wrote:

So in effect there are darkness particles?

Anyone ever seen any?

Hahaha yeah.

Adam

*cough*SPAM!!!*cough*

steveland?

Shane&#8482 wrote:

So in effect there are darkness particles?

Anyone ever seen any?

Dark Matter is matter that cannot be effected by light as I said, so there's no darkness particles... just the inability for light particals to reflect off it.

You can't see it obviously (funny....) but it can be proven to POSSIBLY be there by calculating gravity and stuff on other stuff......

Not exactly the technical term I know but meh....


EDIT:

*cough*SPAM!!!*cough*

Not spam, we're talkin' about one of the questions posed in the first post

Shane™

fade_to_grey wrote:

No, darkness is an absence of light, dark matter is a "substance".

Surely darkness particles would constitute a substance?

Maybe we should ask Stevo Hakey, does he read Boards?

projectmayhem

the ultimate question of our time is why do moths come out at night and chase the light?

Shane™

projectmayhem wrote:

the ultimate question of our time is why do moths come out at night and chase the light?

and how high do they fly in the day?

steveland?

Shane&#8482 wrote:

and how high do they fly in the day?

Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, "It's gonna be worth it!"

[/Bill Hicks]

Adam

Not spam, we're talkin' about one of the questions posed in the first post

I was merely referring to foalteams post, i'm interested in the conversation!

JoeSchmoe

steveland? wrote:

Darkness = Absence of light...


so darkness doesn't move (ie no waves/particles however you want to look at it)


EDIT:


Theory of relativity... if you were in a spaceship going the speed of light and you turned on the headlights the light would go out ahead of you at the speed of light so it'd be theoretically travelling the speed of light squared when actually it's travelling at the speed of light relative to your position.

Jeez im such a nerd

but surely, if you were in a spaceship travelling at the speed of light, you wouldn't be in a spaceship travelling at the speed of light coz you and the spaceship would just be light, only light can travel at the speed of light, no?

StupidLikeAFox

i swear to god i was this close to travalling the speed of light the other day. I was in this fiesta with neon and stripes down the side and it was going REALLLLLYYY fast. I couldnt turn on the headlights though coz both hands were on the steering wheel

JoeSchmoe

Ah Jaysus, maybe you can bring a mate with you next time, to operate the headlight switch, like, then we can put this issue to bed once and for all

Repli

Was actually gonna post up the right answers to all those questions - but saw its been done - Anyway i think people should relax and just see the funny side of it heh

pickarooney

steviem wrote:

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

It's to illustrate the mix-up which causes the letter S to be lost between the lips.
First chronicled dingbat.

BEcause square boxes are easier to assemble

On what grounds? And why is a square pizza not easier to make than a round one?

Blub2k4

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

People may laugh but this is actually one of the arguments at the moment for the creationists to have "intelligent design" taken up in the school science syllabi in the US.
Scary.

E@gle.

These question were best left unanswered

WhiteWashMan

square boxes and round boxes are just as easy to manufacture as each other.
square boxes are easier to actually fold and put together.

light still goes at the speed of light on a space ship going at the speed of light according to theory. the torchlight is relative to the space ship, not the surrounding space, whioch is moving by at the speed of light.

of course, anything with a mass will not be able to achieve lightspeed according to the formula e=mc(c) so its all pretty much a moot point

dark matter has never been proven to exist, it is a theory, so im at a loss as to how someone can state that light doesnt effect it.
you cant prove a negative!


i think the most important question of our time is possibly, 'whats for dinner?'

toiletduck

i would love to know why people sometimes say there "head over heels" My head is usually above my heels....

steveland?

WhiteWashMan wrote:

dark matter has never been proven to exist, it is a theory, so im at a loss as to how someone can state that light doesnt effect it.
you cant prove a negative!

Well the theory to why it's "Dark" matter is that it's matter light can't effect but yeh Dark Matter in general is just a theory.

but surely, if you were in a spaceship travelling at the speed of light, you wouldn't be in a spaceship travelling at the speed of light coz you and the spaceship would just be light, only light can travel at the speed of light, no?

As WWman said it's not actually possible and it's just a theory.

IN THEORY if you were on a ship going exactly the speed of light, regardless of the actual possibility of achieving it, and turned on the light the light would still go out in front of you at the speed of light relative to the position/speed of the source so in theory it'd be travelling the speed of light squared

Adam

pickarooney wrote:

On what grounds? And why is a square pizza not easier to make than a round one?

I'd like to see you try and spin a square pizza! That being how pizzas were first made, i guess its tradition, i know machines could make them square now but where's the fun in that?? It just wouldnt be a pizza.... And you couldnt cut them into those handy to eat slices! well you could, but with a certain level of difficulty!

WhiteWashMan

steveland? wrote:

IN THEORY if you were on a ship going exactly the speed of light, regardless of the actual possibility of achieving it, and turned on the light the light would still go out in front of you at the speed of light relative to the position/speed of the source so in theory it'd be travelling the speed of light squared

no.
it wouldnt, becasuse relative to to the person who is holding the torch, the light will be moving at the speed of light.

and according to any person who is observing, the light is still only going at the speed of light, because the torch is still onlt being observed within the environments reltive to the holder of the torch.

you can either watch what happens within the reltive sphere of the environment, or you can watch what happens outside, but the two cannot interact.
come on now, thats basic physics!

NotMe

toiletduck wrote:

i would love to know why people sometimes say there "head over heels" My head is usually above my heels....

So there have been times when you have been head over heels?

StupidLikeAFox

WhiteWashMan wrote:

no.
it wouldnt, becasuse relative to to the person who is holding the torch, the light will be moving at the speed of light.

and according to any person who is observing, the light is still only going at the speed of light, because the torch is still onlt being observed within the environments reltive to the holder of the torch.

you can either watch what happens within the reltive sphere of the environment, or you can watch what happens outside, but the two cannot interact.
come on now, thats basic physics!

So to the guy is holding the torch and the light is out in front of him. They will both be travelling at the speed of light. but the light from the torch will be out in front of the guy right? If theres some guy standing on the side of the road or what ever, it will be like the whole system (guy in supercar, torch, light from torch) is travelling as one unit as such, as they whizz by. Am i right with that?

CuLT

There are real Irish physicists all over the country now CHOKING on the waffle you armchair scientists are concocting.

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

To respect the diginity of the prisoner (twisted, no?)

Actually, it's technically possible that the execution could be cancelled at the last minute, effectively while the needle is in the prisoners arm. Can you imagine how terrifically embarrassing it would be to the country to end up INFECTING someone with a disease if they were proved innocent?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

TV writers often don't follow the logic of their creations to its full conclusions.

Or perhaps it's because a large metal object chucked at your face is reasonably distracting, where as a small, more or less invisible (at the speed) piece of metal is hardly as noticeable.
Incidentally, superman was a comic book creation, not created by tv writers.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Habit.

The pilots would hardly be much use if they banged their heads during a turn and knocked themselves unconscious would they? It was there to ensure the completion of their mission.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

That's how the word happened to evolve in English. It wasn't anyone's idea.

I'd argue that it's most likely due to assonance.

Gileadi

simu wrote:

What is the speed of darkness?

There are no darkness particles.

light is a wave not a particle btw

welcome to 1700

CuLT

Gileadi wrote:

light is a wave not a particle btw

welcome to 1700

Photons are particles.
Light is photons moving in wave motion.

Welcome to the 21st centruy 0_o

steviem

jeeezus, would some people ever get alife.....

popinfresh

Quote:
BEcause square boxes are easier to assemble

On what grounds? And why is a square pizza not easier to make than a round one?

I work in pizza hut, pizza's are more logical to make in a round shape (becuase of the way the dough proofs), mind you there were square pizzas (the sicilian if i remember correctly), but they taken off the menu cause they sucked. The reason boxes are square is because it's easier to make a square box than a round box.

Doper Than U

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

They didn't - humans and apes evolved from a common ancestor

True.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Because the apes that evolved into humans were exposed to a different type
of natural enviorment. We needed to evolve, the apes didn't.

Not true.

parasite

i guess pizzas would be more difficult to lift out of a round box if the pizza was flush with the sides of the box, but with a square box, you're guaranteed to be able to lift the pizza easily ...probably

*cough*