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Red Devil Computer Viruses

  • 18-01-2001 2:51pm
    #1
    He-Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19 ✭


    Be on the look-out for a new breed of 'Evil Red'
    >  computer viruses that
    >  could seriously affect your PC:
    >  The Manchester United virus - This is where the
    >  computer develops a
    >  memory
    >  disorder, and forgets about everything before 1993.
    >  The Manchester United shirt virus - This one is
    >  especially hard to detect
    >  as it changes its format every 3 months.
    >  The David Beckham virus - This affects newer computers
    >  mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but
    nothing
    works.
    >  The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows.
    >  The Alex Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous
    whining
    noise
    >  and the on-screen clock runs a lot faster than all the
    >  other computers in the building.
    >  The Andy Cole virus - The computer is unable to get anything into
    the
    > 'inbox'.
    >  The Mark Bosnich virus - You just can't save anything.
    >  The Ryan Giggs virus - The computer develops a processor problem
    whereby
    >  it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences
    dramatic
    >  fluctuation in performance.
    >  Aside from the red viruses, there are several other
    >  'Premiership' viruses that you also need to be aware of:
    >  The David James virus - Your PC will act as though it
    >  will save something,
    >  but then unexplainably lets you down at the last second.
    >  The David Ginola virus - The computer pretends to shut
    >  down, but then re-boots and is perfectly okay.
    >  The Stan Collymore virus - This one is very hard to
    >  track down and is constantly on the move - has been known to boot-
    up
    >  some Swedish models.
    >  The Glenn Hoddle virus - Disables your PC, lets you
    >  down and then blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.
    >  The Gordon Strachan virus - This one affects the spellchecker
    function
    >  in Word Processing software, highlighting thousands of
    >  errors that aren't actually there.
    >  The Sheffield Wednesday virus - Crashes out of all programmes.
    >
    >  Hope this protects you from harm!
    >


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