photos and memories

cajun_tiger

was just flicking through some pix i have on-line, and noticed one and i just broke down... he killed himself in november. i keep a pic of him always in my room but this was a shock..

i had forgotten this picture and it brought back all sorts of memories.

i still have a lump in my throat...

does the sadness ever go away after death??


every time i close my eyes i see his looking back at me....

Sleepy

Time heals all wounds. It's cliched but true.

IANOC

in most cases m8 it will not go away but that is part of the healing/meaning of death for us all
if we do mourn the loss and become sad from it ,it makes the loss have a meaning and in our sadness it makes sure they are not forgotten
its good to cry/be sad over those missed.BUT not forgotten
regards
ian

Evil Phil

While the sadness of a loved ones death never goes away, it does become less acute with time. What's important now is that you grieve - which is what you're doing. And be gentle with youself.

Sorry for your loss.

Winnie

it will always be there but it does ease as time goes on and you will just remember the good times and will make you smile instead on cry

*adele*

yeah my friends friend also killed himself recently and shes finding it hard getting over it and im not surprised he was only 16,i hope your ok..

silly

sorry to hear it, i know a few people who've gone too, u'll never forget but in time u will prob be able to deal wit it better xx

Victor

cajun_tiger wrote:

does the sadness ever go away after death??

It becomes more tolerable and we get more used to it, but in some way both our friends and the sadness will be there.

_blank_

Same thing happened to me recently.

I lost my best mate last June, he didn't kill himself, he drowned while on holidays.

I too have a pic of him in my room, so like you, I see him every day.

But a couple of days ago my sister called me in to her room and handed me a pic of him dancing and having a good laugh at a party.

It was such a shock, and yeah, I cried aswell.

As for the sadness ever going away. I'd hope it doesn't. It gets easier to cope with, but I'm still as sad as the day he left us.

CathyMoran

Slight bit of a sideline but I just stumbled into photos of mum when she was coming out of her coma - they threw me a bit (OK a lot), the thing is I think of mum as how she is now and how she was before she got ill.

To the original poster photos are important memories of people - sure, they can be painful but with time they can bring back the good memories, I have photos of my grandmother who died several years ago all over the place and I celebrate her life when I look on them.

Victor

Just a side-note, it is better to have the photos than not have the photos.

MartMax

Victor wrote:

Just a side-note, it is better to have the photos than not have the photos.

agree, althou i always keep away most photos i have... hoping that my visual wont so "attach" to watever memories i have... :cool:

CathyMoran

Yep, I agree - it is better to have photos. When you loose someone there comes a stage where you are afraid of forgetting what they looked like (even though you never do) - having the photos is like an extra back up. Also, with time you can look on the photos with joy.

cajun_tiger

i think about him every day... i need to pass things and places where we hung out where we met to get to work each day. i see people that we knew, some who didn't even show up to mark respect...

i've lost people before him, an uncle and an "uncle" (you know dads best mate from child hood) but its so different with them... i get angry that my uncle died of cancer... yet i'm quite calm about my"uncle" killing himself... it was what he had wanted for so long, he was so desperate to die and my uncle was so desperate to live.

but cirian never seemed that sad/depressed... i'm still kicking myself because there was this night that we were out together and we talked for hours and i can't remember what it was about..i remember him and his tears, but not the words. "maybe i could have" 's keep going through my head..

CathyMoran

I know what it is like - my best friend died in a fire when we were both 6 - I do not have any photos (big regret) and while I remember a lot of our time together it is through the eyes of a child. I have never forgotten her.

With my mum it has been like a death also - after her brain haemorrage she will never be the same - I still get flashbacks to the conversations that we had before she got ill, while we were in contact all the time I still wish that I had spent that minute longer...but I can't go back to the past.

Death hurts - but the photos and the memories will help with time.