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Dear Santa ....

  • 28-11-2000 10:31am
    #1
    Lord Khan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,004 ✭✭✭


    Dear Santa,
    I wood like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a
    good boy all yeer.
    YeR FReND,
    BiLLy
    Dear Billy,
    Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a monkey
    trainer.
    How about I send you a ****ing book so you can learn to
    read and
    write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.
    Santa

    Dear Santa,
    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
    for is
    peace and joy in the world for everybody!
    Love,
    Sarah

    Dear Sarah,
    Quit smoking pot...
    Santa
    Dear Santa,
    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd
    like for my
    mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you
    can do.
    Love,
    Teddy

    Dear Teddy,
    What..., and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having?
    He's
    banging that one like a screen door in a hurricane, son!
    Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead.
    Santa
    Dearest Santa,
    We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
    our home?
    Love,
    Marky

    Mark,
    First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why
    you're
    getting
    your ass whipped at school.
    Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent
    apartment
    complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad
    just like
    all
    the burglars do,through your bedroom window.
    Sweet Dreams!
    Santa
    Dear Santa,
    I really really want a puppy this year.
    Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
    Timmy

    Timmy,
    That whiney, begging **** may work with your folks, but
    that crap
    doesn't work up here. You're getting a sweater vest &
    underwear
    again.
    Santa
    Dear Santa,
    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
    carrots
    for
    your reindeer outside the backdoor.
    Love,
    Susan

    Dear Susan,
    Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer shoot air
    biscuits
    in my face. You really want to be a Kiss-ass? Leave me a
    glass of
    Southern Comfort instead....
    Santa


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