Hi! Need to find that certain someone!

Motley Crue

ok. im 19, im from Dublin. Im currently in college (although you cant really call it a college because theres not that many pupils lol) and just started a new job. heres my problem. The first is that i havent had a girlfriend since last summer, and im thinking that because i didnt exactly part on the best terms with her then maybe im just not able to find someone, and the second problem is that im still a virgin. My third problem is that i would like to find someone new (pref not just someone for sex, someone who will at least like me as a person) and im wondering how to do this. please can someone give me some advice.

1. Can ending a previous relationship on bad terms physcologically stop you from entering into a new one?
2. Should i be ashamed at being 19 and a virgin? Personally I am a little.
3. How does a guy find someone new? Where does he go and what does he do?

I'm still wondering about question 3, but I can answer question 2:

Don't feel ashamed to be a virgin at 19. It's a lot more common than you think. I'm 20 and never even had a girlfriend, let alone losing my virginity. In secondary school you're led to believe that everyone else is getting off with girls, but in many cases it's all just an attention-seeking joke to make the person look "cool".

Bottle_of_Smoke

Motley Crue wrote:

The first is that i havent had a girlfriend since last summer,

will people stop coming out with these sorta statements!?!?!

anyway Question 1 - i dont know, i doubt it

Question 2 - You're prob just unfortunate, i wouldnt be ashamed

Question 3 - Think you know theres no real answer to that, friends of friends\college\work prob best, get chatting in the pub to someone maybe? concerts? Best advice I think is don't plan it, just try be yourself\normal to the girls you meet.

I don't have a girlfriend so the above is all technically bollocology*

The Corinthian

Motley Crue wrote:

1. Can ending a previous relationship on bad terms physcologically stop you from entering into a new one?
2. Should i be ashamed at being 19 and a virgin? Personally I am a little.
3. How does a guy find someone new? Where does he go and what does he do?

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Carpe Diem.

mycroft

You're a 19yo Motley Crue fan, I'm sensing thats the most serious and pressing issue you need to resolve

Victor

Motley Crue wrote:

The first is that i havent had a girlfriend since last summer,

This is not unusual. Think of it as you've had a full six months free of a whinging bitch.

and im thinking that because i didnt exactly part on the best terms with her then maybe im just not able to find someone,

Perhaps. A bad experience with a given scenario will tend to make will make us not want to go through that experience again. You need to work up to the point where you can ask someone out and and not worry about whether it works or not.

and the second problem is that im still a virgin.

So is half the world's population. It's not that big an issue. Quite a few people of boards readily admit they were in their early- to mid-twenties before they had sex. Sex for the sake of sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's like a hand job with less grip and more chance of getting a disease.

http://www.google.ie/search?hl=en&q=get+enough+germs+to+catch+pneumonia&spell=1

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble That's what you get for all your trouble. I'll never fall in love again. I'll never fall in love again. What do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia. After you do, he'll never phone you. I'll never fall in love again. I'll never fall in love again. Don't tell me what is all about, 'Cause I've been there and...

---

My third problem is that i would like to find someone new (pref not just someone for sex, someone who will at least like me as a person) and im wondering how to do this. please can someone give me some advice.

Talk to people, college, work, friends whatever. If you get a positive response, exploit this, just don't sound desparate, that if you don't have sex with them now that your left epididimus will explode.

Come to the next boards beer and meet some of us.

Blisterman

Hey Motley crue rock.

Ignore this statement.

Terrier

Victor wrote:

Sex for the sake of sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's like a hand job with less grip and more chance of getting a disease.

Briill

The Corinthian

Victor wrote:

Sex for the sake of sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's like a hand job with less grip and more chance of getting a disease.

Speak for yourself.

hannable80

1. Can ending a previous relationship on bad terms physcologically stop you from entering into a new one? yes it can , it takes time most of the women in irelaNd are bitter because of ending a bad relationship
2. Should i be ashamed at being 19 and a virgin? nah take it easy!u dont want to go off with a tramp on ur first attempt , find the right girl
3. How does a guy find someone new? Where does he go and what does he do?I get drunk take the piss of them,light hearted joke, works for me 80% of the time....

pickarooney

The Corinthian wrote:

Speak for yourself.

Got filthy hands?

koneko

Victor wrote:

Sex for the sake of sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's like a hand job with less grip and more chance of getting a disease.

You're doing it wrong, then!

OP, don't let any of this worry you, just go out and have fun and don't think about it. The more you worry and fuss over things, the unhappier you'll get and the less likely you'll find someone interesting. Just go with the flow and try not to think about it too much.

[Jackass]

1/ Yes it can if you keep thinking about it or are worried of getting hurt again...but you'vejust got to movepast it in your mind and accept you have to move on sooner or later, trust your judgement, and you never get hurt as bad as the first time...because you know what to expect.

2/ absolutely not

3/ Just generall going to pubs/ clubs etc. with your friends, get talking etc.
If that's not your scence, you could meet them in college or societys or whatever....girls are everywhere!! It's difficult, but you've just gotta loose the nerves and talk to as many as possible!! you'd be suprised how well you can do, meet them for coffe, drinks etc

jothee

Victor wrote:

Quite a few people of boards readily admit they were in their early- to mid-twenties before they had sex. Sex for the sake of sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's like a hand job with less grip and more chance of getting a disease.

ROTFL!

very true. sex is so much better when you actually like the person your having it with. and know them.

Victor

koneko wrote:

You're doing it wrong, then!

Maybe I've had some good hand jobs.

memphis

Motley Crue wrote:

ok. im 19, im from Dublin. Im currently in college (although you cant really call it a college because theres not that many pupils lol) and just started a new job. heres my problem. The first is that i havent had a girlfriend since last summer, and im thinking that because i didnt exactly part on the best terms with her then maybe im just not able to find someone, and the second problem is that im still a virgin. My third problem is that i would like to find someone new (pref not just someone for sex, someone who will at least like me as a person) and im wondering how to do this. please can someone give me some advice.

1. Can ending a previous relationship on bad terms physcologically stop you from entering into a new one?
2. Should i be ashamed at being 19 and a virgin? Personally I am a little.
3. How does a guy find someone new? Where does he go and what does he do?

My God, I have to laugh at stuff like this.

You say you haven't had a girlfriend since last summer, well I haven't ever had a girlfriend.... at least not a steady one, that I was going out with for more than 4 months.

I'm also 23 and still virgin, not by fault but by choice. And no I'm not ashamed to admit it! My time will come when I'm ready and willing to loose my cherry. Unlike most people my age, I want to wait til marriage. May sound like a joke to some but I'm dead serious. I want my first time to be perfect, with the woman I love, and not some hoe I picked up in a night club while out of it!

Your young, you've plenty of time, don't fret over it. Enjoy life while your young.

The Corinthian

memphis wrote:

I'm also 23 and still virgin, not by fault but by choice. And no I'm not ashamed to admit it! My time will come when I'm ready and willing to loose my cherry. Unlike most people my age, I want to wait til marriage. May sound like a joke to some but I'm dead serious.

While I would not agree with them, I commend you for your principles.

I want my first time to be perfect, with the woman I love, and not some hoe I picked up in a night club while out of it!

The first time to be perfect? It’s one thing to hold off until it has meaning, it’s another to expect something out of a chick flick or a Mills & Bloom novel. Even you’re blissfully in love, it won’t be perfect.

Your young, you've plenty of time, don't fret over it. Enjoy life while your young.

I’ve known many who were once young and didn’t fret, because they had plenty of time. Regrettably life is surprisingly brief, however. Now they’re simply left with the memory of countless missed opportunities.

the_syco

memphis wrote:

Unlike most people my age, I want to wait til marriage

Damn holy people. I commend thee on it, but still, damn ye holy people.

memphis wrote:

I want my first time to be perfect

The first time will be awkward, fumbling to stick it in, and you won't know weather you did it right or not.

=====

For the record, I'm still a virgin as well (23) but from what I've heard, once you do get it, you'll even shag the fat girl :rolleyes: so enjoy your virginity while you can.

Evil Phil

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Ask someone out.

I want my first time to be perfect ...

Practice makes perfect - though the first time can still be very romantic. I'm guessing this is what you want. My first time still makes me cringe many years later.

memphis

This thread is meant to be about Motley's problem not mine, which isn't a problem anyway. I'm virgin and proud of it... and religion doesn't enter into this, if it did I'd be ashamed and damned to say I bisexual.... which can be a good thing, best of both worlds, etc etc etc!!!

mycroft

the_syco wrote:

Damn holy people. I commend thee on it, but still, damn ye holy people.

Quiet you the more guys holding out for marriage means less competition and more desperate catholic girls.....

arbeitsscheuer

touche

isolde

Motley Crue wrote:

1. Can ending a previous relationship on bad terms physcologically stop you from entering into a new one?

i dunno, i guess so. certainly, negative feelings in relation to that relationship could have a detrimental effect on your views of relationships in general.
maybe you're just not over her, and that's clear to the world. no-one wants to go out with someone whose heart is with someone else.

2. Should i be ashamed at being 19 and a virgin? Personally I am a little.

no, a lot of people are, it seems. i dont think you should actively go out looking for it, it'll happen sooner or later. but equally, i think casual sex has its merits.

3. How does a guy find someone new? Where does he go and what does he do?

who knows? how does a girl? anyone can score in a nightclub. and sometimes that does progress further. but most often not. i think friends of friends are your best bet. sometimes you fall in love with the person you least expected.

~ isolde.