Holy Grail

shakel

I dunno if this should be in film\tv or here


From the Holy Grail:

FRENCH GUARD:
Allo! Who is eet?
ARTHUR:
It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
FRENCH GUARD:
This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
ARTHUR:
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us
food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FRENCH GUARD:
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
ARTHUR:
What?
GALAHAD:
He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR:
Are you sure he's got one?
FRENCH GUARD:
Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
FRENCH GUARDS:
[chuckling]

ARTHUR:
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD:
Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR:
Well, what are you, then?
FRENCH GUARD:
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD:
What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD:
Mind your own business!
ARTHUR:
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD:
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my
nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt!
Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD:
What a strange person.
ARTHUR:
Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your
general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD:
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD:
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[sniff]
ARTHUR:
Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD:
Quoi?
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache!)
[mooo]
ARTHUR:
If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]

[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
KNIGHTS:
Christ!
[thud]
Ah! Ohh!
ARTHUR:
Right! Charge!
KNIGHTS:
Charge!
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
And this one's for your dad!
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away!
FRENCH GUARD:
Thppppt!
FRENCH GUARDS:
[taunting]
LAUNCELOT:
Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
ARTHUR:
No, no. No, no.

For more of this check out http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail.htm#script

Shiminay

FKING YES! Oh, how I love that film!

That is a fantastic site Stuart - gman yerself!

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All the best,

Steven

And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pi$$ing off home....
Stupid censorship

[This message has been edited by Steven (edited 20-10-2000).]

tobi

Check out http://www.montypython.net/

Great site for everything Phyton.

ARTHUR: Old woman!

DENNIS: Man!

ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!

ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.

DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.

ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'

DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked--

DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!

ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...

DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! ....If there's ever going to be any progress--

WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?

ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?

WOMAN: King of the who?

ARTHUR: The Britons.

WOMAN: Who are the Britons?

ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.

WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. ..... A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

WOMAN: No one lives there.

ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?

WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.

WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!

ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! --- HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!

ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!

DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that, eh?.... That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?

My favourite scene

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I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, its just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?

bubbles

plastic membrane

Come, sing along !!:

"His head smashed in, and his heart cut out, his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his feet.."

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Im going to the bear fights tomorrow, want to come with ??

shakel

Kharn - who is Stuart?

Shiminay

Oh! My bad - thought you were someone else (had a friend with that handle or something like it and his name was Stuart)!!!

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All the best,

MiCr0

shakel,
does any one in your office play any games on the network?

MiCr0

shakel

No, as far as i know they dont
In LMI now on a course
So maybe since i left!