What would you do - reading someone's mails

LegacyUser

Okay then. Something happened between a guy I know and my girlfriend once. Apparently there's nothing between them anymore and me and her are back together.

But. I got suspicious and decided since I know his password, to check his email. There are emails there from her to him. I'm reading them, waiting for replies and trying to see if she's telling me the truth.

Is this morally wrong? Would you do the same?

shelly04

CuriousReader wrote:

Okay then. Something happened between a guy I know and my girlfriend once. Apparently there's nothing between them anymore and me and her are back together.

But. I got suspicious and decided since I know his password, to check his email. There are emails there from her to him. I'm reading them, waiting for replies and trying to see if she's telling me the truth.

Is this morally wrong? Would you do the same?

its only morally wrong if YOU feel it is.
ask yourself.. why did ye get back together if you didnt trust her?? clearly you dont and if she is cheating a) shes not sorry for cheating 1st time b) shes treating you like an idiot and c)you are gonna be hurt again....
imo opinion you and you gf should have a chat about it, and you might be able to tell if shes lying by just talking..
good luck

monster_fighter

I won't argue the morals, but legally it could get you in a LOT of hot water.

Tiriel

sorry.. did you post here before about this? It's just very similar to a thread very recently. I'll try and find it..

edit.. here's the link.
might help?!
here

LegacyUser

No that wasn't me. Me and my girlfriend broke up for a while after it happened.

I don't think she's still cheating. I just more want to see how she feels about him I think. I don't know. It's turned into a compulsion nearly. Admittedly I haven't read anything in the slight bit untoward so far. A lot of the mails are going out to other people too - so no personal stuff.

As for getting in hot water legally - I don't plan on anybody finding out I've been doing it. I'm not opening unread messages or anything stupid.

[Jackass]

CuriousReader wrote:

Is this morally wrong? Would you do the same?

No, Yes

joe.

I'd do it.

Chinafoot

i think the real issue here is *why* you are reading her mails.

you dont trust her plain and simple. maybe you should talk to her about how you feel (wouldnt recommend mentioning the whole email thing though!)

no trust = no relationship in my opinion.

fade2black

i'd do it in a heartbeat.

cajun_tiger

ok well, i've done it(not mail done texts) and i ened up getting the wrong end.. but saying that i was reading my partners texts and this was from an obsessive nothing. when he showed me the sent mails(hes fone saves both sent and recieved) i got the right message)

basically if you feel that not trusting her sneaking behind hers and his back and reading mail that doesn't belong to you, is the only way you'll get the truth do it but do it right(get both sides of the story)
if you feel bad then stop and ask her... say that theres a nagging doubt... shes do 1 of 2 things
1 loose it
2 be calm

both could means shes lying all depends on the girl

good luck with your mission

angeldelight

If I was your gf I'd be seriously pissed off! you've just proved you don't trust her and just cause you're going out with her doesn't entitle you to check up on her or even know stuff about her she didn't want you to know! Speaking from personal experience (my ex read my diary) once I found out I never totally forgot it or forgave him so you better hope she doesn't find out

Iago

CuriousReader wrote:

Okay then. Something happened between a guy I know and my girlfriend once. Apparently there's nothing between them anymore and me and her are back together.

But. I got suspicious and decided since I know his password, to check his email. There are emails there from her to him. I'm reading them, waiting for replies and trying to see if she's telling me the truth.

Is this morally wrong? Would you do the same?

It's not morally wrong but it's kind of pointless in having a relationship if you're doing it.

As far as I'm concerned there are three elements to a relationship that need to be perfect if it's going to succeed

1. Trust; You don't have any for your gf, either through mistakes of the past or insecurity in yourself. Either way it's a reciepe for disaster. If you don't find what you're looking for in her mails will you start checking her phone? Asking your friends to watch her? believe any story you're told about her? It's a slippery slope and you're already about halfway down..

2. Respect; It's badly lacking her, she disrespected you by cheating on you, and you're disrespecting her by not trusting her and trying to catch her out. If you have no respect you have no future. How can you even respect yourself when you're doing this?

3. Friendship; The first two bring this to life, without either of them you won't truly be friends. Your partner should be your best friend, the person you feel you can go to no matter what the problem is and get their unquestioned support. You can't even talk to her about this problem, that's not a good sign.

Just mho but I think you're still raw from the past and that now isn't the right time to be back together. Without the three things above I just don't see how the relationship can last..

Beruthiel

CuriousReader wrote:

But. I got suspicious and decided since I know his password, to check his email. There are emails there from her to him. I'm reading them, waiting for replies and trying to see if she's telling me the truth.

I see no point whatsoever in being in a relationship with someone you clearly do not trust.

StupidLikeAFox

Go ahead read the emails. But...
1) If your relationship is fine and you find out something your gonna always have it in the back of your mind and you'll never be able to talk to the girl about it either. Even if whatever she had with the guy is over well your still gonna be wondering but you wont be able to talk to anyone about it because then your secret is out

2) If you dont find anything well then your gonna say ''oh silly me, now i totally trust her, let the good times roll''. You'll feel a bit guilty about it at first but at least you'll be sure that you were wrong to doubt her etc

Red pill or blue pill tbh