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Balance
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01-08-2000 4:36pm#1Prolly was on here before (it's an old one) but **** it ....
Tis a joke but if you're uptight dont read on..
Al.
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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, on the seventh day, resting.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued,
pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid
while
this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small landmass and
said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Ireland, the most glorious place on Earth. It has beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The people from
Ireland are going to be handsome, intelligent and humorous and they're going
to
be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as warriors, poets and scholars.
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "What about balance,
God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the *******s I'm putting on the island next to them."0
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Originally posted by FreaK_BrutheR:
i don't know where u get off on slagging the english like that. It's people like you who keep the two countries at loggerheads. I'm disapointed al.
Mark, I'm disappointed too.
This is a humour board, not a serious one like the humanities board. If I have a serious problem with the English, I will make a serious and logical post there. On this board I will post jokes[1].
I do not take the jokes seriously, nor do I expect mine to be taken so either, doubly so when I post a disclaimer at the top saying some might find it offensive.
I am genuinely sorry that you feel that I am to blame for the bad relations between the two countries, but if you had talked to me about these things you would realise that I am in no way prejudiced against the English as a race (there are certain groups of[2], but that's a different issue).
Sico makes a good point about the amount of Irishman[3] jokes. Having worked with tourists a lot, and travelled a lot, I have heard countless people making these kinds of jokes. Then there's the culchie jokes, some of which can be cruel in the extreme. Should I be shocked and offended? Should I refuse to talk to them? I have more pressing and important things to deal with (like chatting up their daughters[4] ) so generally I laugh along.
In any case, I am sorry to have caused you, and all our English bretheren, such offense.
1. (OED): joke —n. 1 thing said or done to cause laughter; witticism. 2 ridiculous person or thing. —v. (-king) make jokes; tease (only joking). no joke colloq. serious matter. jokingly adv. joky adj. (also jokey). jokily adv. jokiness n. [probably Latin jocus jest]
2. E.g. Combat18 and those soccer thugs.
3. Should that be Irish-person? Are we getting ridiculous enough yet?
4. Now, that too is a joke... note the smiley...
[This message has been edited by Trojan (edited 03-08-2000).]0 -
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well i'll be....."at loggerheads"...i mean who the fark uses that word?
"I'm disapointed Al".....I met you at qp weekend...now not to sound hatefull i hardly know you to make an assesment which may have lead to my disapointment.
"doubly so when I post a disclaimer at the top saying some might find it offensive"...well that was noteworthy by you....but also by me. Thats WHY i took the proverbial ****. Did anyone ever hear me get uptight about race/religion/minority/whatever related jokes.
I'm not an uptight person right SO JUST FU(K OFF AND DIE THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU RACIST, SLAGGIN, ATTACKING, COMBAT 18-OBSESSED SCUM.
sorry anyone took my last or takes this post wrong but hey **** all y'all.
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Argh....
this is too complex for my poor hung-over little brain!!
*going back to sleep*
Alo.0 -
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