If at first you don't succeed - skydiving probably isn't for you.

Blitzkrieger

Get rich quick

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick so she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to love him to death on their wedding night.
The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.
When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except arubber to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"
The elderly gentleman replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"


Nuns on bikes

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun whispers, " it's the cobblestones."

SantaHoe

Liked the nun one

Lump

GO THE Fúck ON. Nice one.




John