Ali G meets Gaybo

Trojan

ALI G MEETS GAY B!

Exclusive! Here's the unexpurgated transcript of ALI G's interview with Uncle GAYbo...

ALI G: Bo selecta, check dis !!! Eye is ere wit no other dan me main man GAY Byrne. Now for 'dose who don't know 'im, he is like de guy who was on de telly since it was like invented all dem years ago by dat guy Marconi, him dat work in de chipper on Staines Main Street, you should check dat place out, dey got some wicked chips, but me Julie won't go, cause she say dat she is watchin' her figure, but me say dat eye can do dat for er if she would wear one of dem Wonderbra fings, dey is WICKED man, me mate Dave always go for de women who got dem chest on show, but in de morning dave he says 'e is wondering where de chest is gone.....

GAY: Excuse me excuuuuuse me, are we doing an interview or are you just talking to the camera?

ALI G: Wot is you banging on about, dis is my show, you 'ad a show and you was made retire cos you is like 200 years old or somefing, so when dis is de GAY Byrne show den you can say wot is wot, but dis is de ALI G show. OK, if you is giving me any more attitude, den I will send de Bricknell Massive over to give you some back OK?

GAY: Well I have to say, in all my years in television I have never been...

ALI G: OK OK, me is just havin' a laugh wiv you, don't get overstressed, someone of your age might 'ave like a art attack, anyway, so eye is hearin' at you is best friends wiv one of de biggest hash dealers in Ireland...

GAY: I'm sorry I'm not sure I know what you mean!

ALI G: Well eye is hearing dat you is in wiv dis dealer, and when you is playin' a video on your show, you get her to roll up a spliff for you, eye hear you say "roll one dere Roisin"

GAY: No, I think you are mistaken - Roisin is one of my most trusted staff, she is our video director.

ALI G: So she does not roll de spliff for you? Cos eye was thinking dat if she did, maybe she could teach me Julie 'ow to roll up de spliff, cause de last time she did it was loose and she forgot to put de blow in it, an she have no cigarette papers, so she use de bog paper instead, MAN dat spliff it went up so fast, me mate Dave, 'im burn off both his eyebrows, MAN he look so funny wiv no eyebrows!!!

GAY: No, I think you have misunderstood.

ALI G: Eye for real, for real, so eye is also earing dat you is mad for de punani ? Dat you can't get enough.

GAY: I'm sorry, poo? Pou-na-knee, I don't understand, yes indeedy, what is that, is it some kind of pasta sauce?

ALI G: Nah man, punani, de *****es, you is mad for gettin' giggy wiv it.

GAY: No, again young man I think you are wrong, if you are referring to my private life, the only response you will get from me in that respect is that I am quite happily married to my wonderful wife Kathleen.

ALI G: So when you says dat you "has one for everyone in de audience" you is not talking about a boner? Cos me mate Dave says dat when you says dat "you ad one for everyone in de audience" all dem people in de audience dey is like shouting out, an im say dat you must be hung like an elephant or somefing!!! How big is your trouser snake?

GAY: Well Kathleen never had reason to compla..... Lookit, that is you last chance, if this interview degenerates into smut once more then I am leaving.

ALI G: OK OK, no need to blow up over dat question, so how come dey call your show de late late show, but you never 'ave any muff on it? If eye went to a cinema for de late late show, den I is expecting to see some muff or dat guy Bruce Willis blow up some buildings, or both if dat is possible - why does you not ave any muff on your show?

GAY: Well, I'm not sure what muff is, but we have had some of the biggest movie stars on the show.

ALI G: For real ?? who ave you had, did you have Seka ?

GAY: Who ?

ALI G: Seka, she is dis German or French bird, an she have de biggest fings you ave ever seen, an me mate Dave, 'im have dis porno where she has a four header !!! DAT WAS WICKED, me never thought dat was possible until me seeit, Did you 'ave her on de show ?

GAY: Right that's it, this is the single most offensive interview I have ever been involved in, goodbye.....

ALI G: Wow, dat guy, 'im just storm out wiv his face all red, me 'ope him not have a hart attack or somefing, anyway for all de people out dere who is wondering about gettin old an dat, me ave to say dat if you is half as ready to get all wound up as dis GAY boy from Ireland, den you has nofing to worry about, he is like 200 years old and still is mad up for a ruck. Keep it real !!!

Shiminay

Good one Al!

---

All the best,

Dav
@B^)
My page of stuff

LegacyUser

LOL , nice one

---

It's about a society in freefall....

Terra

Shiminay

Welcome along Alan

---

All the best,

Dav
@B^)
My page of stuff

Trojan

I will never say that again!


[This message has been edited by Kharn (edited 12-07-2000).]

What? That you're all a bunch of muppets? Of course I'm gonna say that again. Don't be silly!

Al.

[This message has been edited by Trojan (edited 12-07-2000).]

Carnage

i'm completely sorry. i just don't understand it, what is peoples facination with this Ali G person? i mean, he's about as entertaining as Jeff K from planetquake, and he got scrapped pretty quickly. my co workers all have him for screensavers, and it drives me friggin nuts, every ten minues or perhaps less, their computers yell out "check dis out" and i'm like "NO!!!! STFU!!!!"

Shiminay

Is you having a problem wid him cause he is black?
Are you a racialist???

---

All the best,

Dav
@B^)
My page of stuff