"no-number"

snorlax

Hi, i v had a problem recently with someone i used to know, who won't stop ringing me in the middle of the night.

i was with this guy back in march after i had known him for about 6months beforehand, anyway it turned ugly and he treated me horribly by ignoring me etc and iv only seen him once or twice since then as we have common friends (last time was the sat/jan 7th).

Basically he started ringing me and hanging up etc on sat/friday nights(and last night i got "12 missed calls" from "no number" at 5.30am). i actually complained about it to one of his friends a month ago and now instead of his mobile number appearing i just get "no number", its really starting to freak me out as now i don't even have any proof he's ringing me, and 12 phone calls is bordering on an obsessional(though the calls stopped over xmas when he had a girlfriend).
Normally my phone is on silent so its not really a problem but sometimes i forget to turn it off and it wakes me up, i dont want to change my mobile number as all my friends have it.

is there any way i can find out for definite it was him (have already checked with all my friends) and reveal the "no number" as i dont want to make things any seriouser then they are (eg going to police etc as we have common friends). if i had proof it was him i could probably sort it out myself.

PowerHouseDan

divert your calls to the garda station at night for a week

BrianD

Powerhousedan, that's a very irresponsible suggestion that will only land Snorlax in trouble. The Gardai won't be impressed and the calls, if traced, will originate from Snorlax's mobile. This would be construed as wasting Garda time and is an offence.

Two options:

Confront him and tell him to stop. Tell him that you aware he was ringing and you believe the "no number" calls are his. Tell him that you will report him to The Gardai and then mobile operator if he doesn't stop.

or just go to the Gardai and phone operator.

As you have mutual friends you might want to defuse the situation by asking a friend to step in. Perhaps you could get someone to have a scan down his recent calls list??

sirlinux

All the networks treat this pretty seriously, vodafone will give you a free number change on the spot and all of them will help you press charges if you go to the garda.

From the eircom site:

Malicious Calls are a criminal offence and successful prosecutions by the Gardai will result in a prison sentence of up to five years or a fine ranging from £800 to £50,000.

The majority of malicious calls are either silent, or threatening and abusive. 58% of malicious call victims are female, with 42% of victims being male. Dublin has by far the highest incidence of malicious calls at 45%, with the remaining 55% accounting for the rest of the country.

seamus

Yep, report it to your operator and the Gardai. Since he did it before without having his number blocked, you have reasonable proof that it's him now. His operator will check his records, and see that he has called you ridiculous amounts of times.

From there, I'm not entirely sure what the process is. Afaik, he gets a stern warning. If you report it continuing, he'll have calls to you blocked.

Akula

Just because the number is blocked doesn't mean the operater can't check it. AFAIK the receiving operator tracks the number too.

DemoniK

Depending on your mobile, you may be able to use call screening.

Basically works on premise that you only want to receive calls from those numbers you have in your phonebook. Then you can remove this persons number and turn on call screening. All calls from that person will be sent to your voicemail (+ you'll get a missed call indicator) instead of the phone ringing...

Of course means you can't get calls from some companies as they have a number of numbers depending on the line out - but you can switch off during the day.

-RikD.

snorlax

i actually approached him before christmas, but he just denied it and said someone must have stolen his phone and was using it to call me.

i also approached one of his friends but he didnt really take me seriously as it just saw "no number" on my phone and said it could hypothetically be anyone.
i actually thought it was over as he stopped calling me over xmas but then its started again since last saturday.
its so annoying that operators openly allow ppl to cover their numbers up, you should have a right to see the number automatically, and the operators should be able to provide it to you automatically when you call. mobile phones are just open to abuse from stalkers. i contacted vodafone but they weren't much halp and said i had to go to the guards first(but i really would prefer to sort this out myself without their involvement as it could stir up trouble among our common friends)

seamus

snorlax wrote:

(but i really would prefer to sort this out myself without their involvement as it could stir up trouble among our common friends)

They're not very good friends if they don't support you tbh.

My 2c.

snorlax

i know but then they'v no proof and it could be a prank caller in their eyes.

nobody wants to believe that one of their best friends is a stalker, especially without proof

cajun_tiger

best bet is lodge a complaint with yours and (if he is different) his server, they can track his calls then if it is him you can tell him you know and its now in the garda's hand(say it don't have to be true) and watch him back off

BrianD

i actually approached him before christmas, but he just denied it and said someone must have stolen his phone and was using it to call me.

Sounds lame! Is he still available on the number he used to be on before the "theft" and has his handset changed??

Everybody should have the right to bar their caller ID. Your mobile is no different to your home phone - other than it is more portable. There is an arguement that unregistered pay as you go phones should not be allowed to bar their number unless registered to a bona fide address though this would be difficult to police.

Are you still receiving these calls after you spoke to your ex? If you are here's what I would do:

You have exhausted the direct approach to him and indirect approach via friends with no success.

Report it to the Gardai. I don't know whether they will contact him before contacting O2. Lets say they go to O2 first with the complaint.

O2 verify that he is or is not the caller. If he is the caller Gardai follow up.

Now is your ex, given that he is proven to be the source of the calls, going to say a word to your mutual friends? "Hey, I've been making a load of prank calls to my ex and I am now open to prosecution!". I don't think so. He will stay quiet and stop annoying you and hopefully your problem solved.

Switch off your phone at night as well and you won't be disturbed!!!

e38418

1800 689 689-its the number for reporting malicous calls

declanoneill

BrianD wrote:

Now is your ex, given that he is proven to be the source of the calls, going to say a word to your mutual friends? "Hey, I've been making a load of prank calls to my ex and I am now open to prosecution!". I don't think so. He will stay quiet and stop annoying you and hopefully your problem solved.

Apart from the above I think you're spot on. However having dealt with people like this, what he's going to say will be "That bitch managed to convince the police that I was phoning it, it's cos she's a girl and I'm her ex, I'm being persecuted, she's so evil....blah blah blah

If her friends have a few brain cells to rub together they'll either get her side of the story, or just see the gaping holes in his story. If they're idiots they'll believe him unquestioningly and give snorlax the cold sholder. In her position, I wouldn't care, but then, I'm a calious fecker, snorlax on the other hand, I'm willing to bet is not and would be affected by this.

She's caught between a rock and a hard place, her options that I can see (all of which have been pointed out) are:
1. Get the Gardi involved and do what she can to keep her friends
2. Change her number and be very careful about who she gives it to (even then he could still get the number)
3. Live with it (not a nice option I know )

As I said, I'd go with option 1, but I'd like to know how this turns out, let us know snorlax

e38418

had same kind of similar experience last year, freak kept on writing disturbing letters/calling to house/trying to take photos of me/ringin/textin. problem was the girls i was sharing the house with were so glad of any kind of male attention(dont get me started on that!) they kept letting him in to house(and even my bedroom) when i wasnt there. i aint the kind of person to freak easily but i was afraid to go anywhere on my own at one stage cos he lived a few houses down.every time i seen him i ignored him. would have gone to guards but any other time i was at the station e.g.passport/license stuff i got the feeling i was bothering them and the gurads in my area arent exactly known for their friendliness/efficiency. then out of the blue one day he moved away, didnt hear anything for ages until he knocked at my door half three in the morning when i had bout eight friends round(i had only told them bout it after he moved away and one of them found a letter cos they aint hte calmest bunch of lads). he asked to come in and was told to f off and not contact me again or else hed have a lengthly stay in intensive care. geez so didnt mean to go into that! lookin back on it now i should of let people know from the start(including the guards!). all i can advise ya to do is keep note of any contact he tries to make with you so if it doesnt stop ya have soething to show to the guards. ring the malicious calls number anyhoo and hopefully thatll be the end of it

snorlax

i think i mite text him and suggest that i might contact the guards, and if he rings me again i will.
id say if i did change my number he'd get it indirectly through my other friends. i dont really want to change my number either as iv had the same one for ages and everyone knows it.
thanks for all your help anyhow.
iv plenty of other friends apart from this one group but i might be forced to leave that group anyhow as i cant see how its going to help relations, eg anytime there's a birthday or something on.
also this guy knows where i live so i dont want to be followed home/watched or anything (like the above poster), that would creep me out even worse.

the scary thing is he's got a girlfriend and apparently "they'r pretty close", if only see knew how it could end/(shes actually a really nice person aswell)

Imposter

snorlax wrote:

i think i mite text him and suggest that i might contact the guards, and if he rings me again i will.

THis is a stupid idea imo. He will then have a text that he can show your other friends and seeing as you have no actual proof, atm, that it is him you shouldn't do it. Go to the guards and say you've been getting malicious calls. Tell them you think it's your man and let them follow it up. If the stalker mentions it to your common friends and they take his side of the story then they're either stupid or not very good friends. You've given him a warning and he's ignored you. Time to take proper action.