Idiot or what?

atlantis

Ok I have a problem. Last week at my X-mas party i got tired of watching my straight friends hooking up with each other so when I found that one of the guys was interested in me i thought what the hell. I'd never really noticed him before but a friend of mine told me he wanted her to set me up with him and i agreed. It was only gonna be a one night thing so we went back to his place had our fun and I left.

Later in the week he contacted me and said that he had had a row with his boss and that he had handed in his notice. I am actually i nice guy so I agreed to meet him and thought i could give some advice or something. We went back to his house again.

Now heres the problem. He now says he's in love with me and I'm freaking out. I didn't have this planned at all. Whats more is that one night i refused to go meet him coz i was busy and he said he was breaking up with me. (I'm still trying to figure out how you break up something that doesn't exist in the first place but thats a problem for another day). Here i should have thought great, brilliant its over and i didn't have to do a thing but me (being the proud, stuck up, idiot that I am) convinced him not to end our "relationship" because there was no way I was being dumped.

Now I'm back to square one, how do I end this without actually hurting him and thereby saving myself from the wrath of his friends (who are also my friends) who told me "please... just don't hurt him"?

I sound like a complete bo**ocks don't I?

Beruthiel

atlantis wrote:

Now heres the problem. He now says he's in love with me and I'm freaking out.

you can't be in love with someone you hardly know
I'd call it 'in lust'
it's a more than a bit scary to come out with that so soon tbh

I'm still trying to figure out how you break up something that doesn't exist in the first place

bunny boiler?

convinced him not to end our "relationship" because there was no way I was being dumped

very big mistake on your part alright

how do I end this without actually hurting him

you can't by the sounds of it, you will hurt him, but you had better break it off asap as the longer you leave it the more it's going to hurt him
best of luck
a

atlantis

atlantis wrote:

Now heres the problem. He now says he's in love with me and I'm freaking out. I didn't have this planned at all. Whats more is that one night i refused to go meet him coz i was busy and he said he was breaking up with me. (I'm still trying to figure out how you break up something that doesn't exist in the first place but thats a problem for another day). Here i should have thought great, brilliant its over and i didn't have to do a thing but me (being the proud, stuck up, idiot that I am) convinced him not to end our "relationship" because there was no way I was being dumped.

Congratulations.
I know it ain't funny but you just made me laugh so loud, people came in here to see what was up
As regards advice I'd agree with everything that Beruthiel said.

atlantis

I'm glad I could provide so much entertainment for you... although if our places were reversed I'd probably laugh too.

Ok so the consensus is end it and end it quick. How did i know that was coming? Now i just have to think of a way to do it...

BuffyBot

Here i should have thought great, brilliant its over and i didn't have to do a thing but me (being the proud, stuck up, idiot that I am) convinced him not to end our "relationship" because there was no way I was being dumped.

I'm sorry, but my sympathy is limited there - you made your own problem just because you couldn't standing being "dumped" - ffs! Grow a pair.

Now I'm back to square one, how do I end this without actually hurting him and thereby saving myself from the wrath of his friends (who are also my friends) who told me "please... just don't hurt him"?

No matter what, hurt is going to come into it. And if these people don't know that and are trying to emotionally blackmail you into leading him on well they're kinda sh*t friends...

moridin

Tell him you've met someone who you've fallen head over heels for and that you have to follow up on it... it's a lie, but it's better than "it's not you it's me"...

atlantis

Right so, I thought I'd let you know what happened. i told him i wasn't interested in a relationship and that I didn't love him and that I didn't think it would work pretty much in that order. A day and 10 missed calls later I think i'm strarting to think I wasn't actually clear enough though.

RussianManiac

you need to be honest with the dude and tell him whats up,he might only say he loves you so he can "get some" .Alot of guys do.Nice to meet you.Bye

swiss

One of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard was "I love you", from a guy who clearly didn't understand the concept of the word. I recommend putting this bunny boiler on your real-life™ ignore list. Ring the mobile company and ask them to bar his number from calling you. I don't know if they can do this, but it should be possible.

He didn't get the subtle hints. He didn't get the not-so-subtle hints. Cut him loose.

[edit]Alternatively, sleep with his brother[/edit]

Boston

I think what your looking for is some way in which your not going to be the bastard at the end of all this. Sorry but there isn't one. There are people out there that like to come off the innocent, sheep type. As I say, when people what you to take about the decision they want you to take about free will, responsibility and most of all guilt. you've fallen into a trap, but in fairness you knew this when it started.

atlantis

Yeah well its all over now and suddenly the same friedns are like
"Ah well he was a bit of a weirdo anyway" and they're not really friend swith him anymore. WTF is that all about?
They put me with him, they tell me to stay with him, I dump him and so do they. Maybe i'm liked.

BuffyBot

Fantastic friends. Hope they show the same concern and level of support way when you are in a time of need...

bada_bing

ahhhhhhh been there, done that and got the t-shirt. in my case i was just looking to make friends with some guy and so i thought we were just socialising but he went round telling his mates we were a couple even though nothing had happened between us at all. So as soon as i got wind of this i made it clear to him that i was only just a friend and he went off bawling about me breaking his heart. he even went far as telling his mates that i was a b*stard tease.
this all happened because i befriended him and had no romantic or sexual feelings for him. it all ended up with me being seen as the bastard.
well that's life!!! :rolleyes:

atlantis

bada_bing wrote:

well that's life!!! :rolleyes:

Yeah... life sucks.

damien

atlantis wrote:

Yeah... life sucks.

It gets better, way way way better. Just give it time and enjoy the journey getting there. It's what gives you character.

c3van5

well it doesnt always have to be like that, i met a guy a few weeks ago and as strange as it seems i actually have quite strong feelings for him already, and he has told me he has for me also. so unless we are as equally unhinged as each other i think that some good can come out of this! ha!

madison 1

he sounds like a weirdo to me , blank him he'll get the message .

c3van5

things going excruciatingly well with guy i mentioned on previous post!
thought id let ye know.

if anyone cares that is.

damien

c3van5 wrote:

if anyone cares that is.

Would it make you happy if I said I do ?

c3van5

damien.m wrote:

Would it make you happy if I said I do ?

it would actually....
see there i am doubting the kindness of humanity and then along comes one person and their generosity and selflessness changes my mind.

Thanks!

(as you chave probably gathered - im a bit of a drama queen)