Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

the round

  • 08-06-2000 4:23pm
    #1
    deRanged
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,744 ✭✭✭



    Question:
    What exactly is a "Round" and how does it work??

    Answer:
    A "Round" is an unwritten contract among alcohol
    consumers. It consists of two or more people of
    average drinking capabilities who take it in turn to
    buy the full compliment of drinks for the group.

    Procedure:
    There are many unwritten rules that allow the "Round"
    to run efficiently. The most important ( and most
    abused ) of these is that the "Round" moves as fast
    as the fastest drinker. That means that when the
    first man in the round is finished then the next round
    of drinks must be bought. There is no compromise to
    this. This is a Black and white rule. The Round is
    bought when one of the drinkers is finished.

    Background:
    No one knows the exact origin of the "Round" but a
    variation of the early round system can be found in
    Clare and involves Sheep-shagging instead of
    alcohol.

    FAQ
    ===
    1/ Brian from Newport,
    Question: Hypothetical situation : it's my round and
    when I get to the bar they are no longer serving
    pints. I
    decided to buy Smirnoff Ice. Is this acceptable????

    Answer: Tricky situation Brian. Smirnoff Ice is quite
    alright, and your fellow drinkers will be very
    grateful and will gladly drink this beverage and thank
    you for it most heartily, but from this point
    forward, you and seven generations of your family will
    be known as Bangkok Lady Boys.

    2/ Adrian from Waterford,
    Question: I like being in a round but unfortunately I
    am not able to handle much alcohol so I end up
    slipping behind. But I always catch up again when
    it's my round as I wait until I'm finished before I
    buy my
    round. This is acceptable, isn't it????

    Answer: This is quite acceptable Adrian. it's not your
    fault you're a slow drinker, and none of your mates
    will fault you on it. They will encourage you to take
    your time as they sit in front of their empty
    glasses, but from this point forward you and seven
    generations of your family will now be known as
    Half-Pints.

    3/ Timmy from Kilkenny,
    Question: It's my round next but everyone decides to
    leave for another pub. I go and hide so as I don't
    have to buy my "Round". Is this not right????

    Answer: Perfectly right Timmy. the boys will
    appreciate that you wish to stay in the pub with your
    other mates and that it would be impractical for you
    to follow them just for the sake of buying a round,
    however from this point forward seven generations of
    your family will now be known as Tight *******s
    (excluding your sisters).

    4/ Mick from Paris,
    Question: It is my round but I have just had a big
    chunk of my colon removed and I am in agonising pain.
    Can I just get a glass of water????

    Answer: Of course Mick. The guys will understand that
    your health is very important to you. They will
    sympathise with you, ask you if you feel OK and offer
    to call a taxi to take you home. However, once the
    taxi has left, you and seven generations of your
    family will become known as ****ing Wuss-Boys.
    ( I would like to thank Pinky for fielding that
    question).

    5/ Leon from Woodford,
    Question: It is my round but I am well behind my
    colleagues. In order to catch up would it be a good
    idea to just buy drinks for the lads and not bother
    buying one for myself? After all I have nearly
    a full pint to keep me going.

    Answer: Excellent idea. Taking a break during your
    own round is a great way to ease the pressure,
    while still paying back the drinks you owe the lads.
    Nobody loses out under these circumstances, except for
    the next seven generations of your family, who will
    be branded with the title "Cute Hoors" (especially
    your ma).


    [This message has been edited by deRanged (edited 08-06-2000).]


Comments

Advertisement