I thought I was in control

LegacyUser

But apparantly I'm not. I suffer both bouts of depression and anxiety, but I've been on an "up" swing since about June of this year, although the anxiety bouts haven't totally gone away. Recently I gave up caffeine on the advice of a thread here to try and stop the anxiety and I thought it was going to work util today. Today I can feel myself crashing, the depression is coming back like it hasn't done in so long. Today's a bad day anyway, both financially and socially, but I've been through worse in the last six months and gotten through it fine. Today, however, I felt it hit me llike a kick in the stomach. I'm in work and I'm getting nothing done and I can barely speak. I want to curl up in my room and be left alone, but my housemates have people coming for the weekend, so there'll be no quiet, and I know they're gonna try and drag me down to talk to people to "ccheer me up".

I'm terrified of slipping back to where I was before, I always find this time of year hard (for family reasons, not SAD afaik), and I really donn't know how I'm going to manage now. Should I go back on the caffeine? I think it may have been what was helping me keep perky. I don't want to rely on it, but it would be so much easier to get myself better if I could have a bit of a boost.

Oryx

You realise whats happening to you, and thats half the battle really, because you can fight it before you go rock bottom. Drink coffee if you want to in fact right now do anything that makes you feel ok, and dont feel guilty about it. If you must be 'cheery' with your mates, dont put on a big happy face, just be how you are, and let them deal with you how they will. Its just to hard and draining to pretend to be happy when your not. Dont think of the hols as a big awful time to be got thru, just deal with each day or hour as it comes. *hug*

Stark

You might need anti-depressants, or a serotonin increasing food plan. Often when people make diet changes etc. (like giving up caffeine whatever) and feel great for a few months then return to their old selves for no apparent reason, it's usually due to the serotonin factor. I wouldn't go back on the caffeine for the sake of it, maybe you could drink decaf coffee/tea as a psychological "comfort" thing if that makes you feel better.

LegacyUser

I really don't want to have to go back on the caffeine, it's one of the few things I've been so determined to do in a long time. I've tried replacing it with herbal teas and I thought it was working but I really, really want the kick it gives. I don't want to lay all this on my boyfriend (we weren't going out during my last spell), but I really love him so I don't want to have to break up with him. But I don't see how I can be a loving girlfriend when all I want to do is sit in the dark, and he doesn't deserve a fruitcake. :-( I'm good at playing the happy smily person when I'm feeling anything but - I did it for years, but I don't think I can fool him.

Etain

See a doctor. Don't try to pretend or mask your feelings: get help.

Victor

I spent 24 hours straight in bed earlier in the week, unable to face the world. Facing the world the next day was the only thing that changed that.

Try comforting yourself, have a treat, go to the cinema or whatever you enjoy. There is no need to confirm to your housemates social ideas, but don't be un-social either.

spongebob

At any given time I believe that 10% of the population have depression of SOME sort. Most get over it. Some need medical help and some need counselling only . Try a psychiatric social worker, I hear they are good for a chat about these things (they are not shrinks) and can be found in the big citíes. You have no medical record after such a chat .

M

spooiirt!!

Anti depressants make the world go round, world go round, world go round.
The first few days on citalich made me real happy and giddy, but after that i was pretty much the same. Im takin one and a half pills a day now (instead of just one), still no real change.

Victor

spooiirt!! wrote:

The first few days on citalich made me real happy and giddy,

This may not be a desired effect.

elivsvonchiaing

Natural methods of re-charging your seratonin levels is what's needed. SSRI's are sh!t in my experience - "wtf am I feeling good all of a sudden? Ah the drugs" following week thoughts are more of "Hmm back to normal!".

To recharge - combination of diet/sleep/buzz - you need to engineer your life - even if it means doing stuff on your own that you always wanted to do but denied yourself! - (flamers don't even dare go there!)

spooiirt!!

I gave a buddy a few of the pills ( just for the laugh). Havent spoken to him since. wonder what effect it had on him...

Beruthiel

spooiirt!!
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B