Work and Mental Health

AloneEit

Hi,

I've had 2 breakdowns in the space of 4 years in the same sector, 2 different jobs with similar responsibilities. Both jobs were very supportive even though I'm sure they knew I had a drinking problem.

I've a psychological assessment coming up and feel better after returning to work from being signed off. I am motivated to finish the job I'm been working on but beyond that, I don't want to be in this sector anymore. It's brought me to some scary places, zoning out and staring into space while around people, who told me they really worried about me. I was worried about myself as well, because I honestly felt lost to the panic and stress I've been living with for a very long time. My mind was, and still is, wandering.

Anyway my question is that I applied for my old job last week, thinking they would never respond. They ended up inviting me quickly for a prelim phone interview which is tomorrow. Having ruminated on it, I think applying was a mistake while I am awaiting this psychological assessment. I am feeling quite embarrassed over it. I will do the phone interview but will quietly remove myself from the process after that. I'm guessing posters will tell me this is the right move.

Just to say I'm aware I've been extremely fortunate to have 2 employers be so kind to me. I am aware that my issues are in large my own doing. I just started in this sector as someone that wanted to help and look out for people, but unfortunately the intense nature of it brought me to dark places. I did not ever see myself being in this situation, not being able to recognize the person in the mirror.

cluelessoz

Hi OP,

Given the fact you have said they have previously been really supportive and understanding of your suitation, why do you think you have made a mistake? It says alot about you the fact they have got back to you so quickly.

Do you think you might be overthinking/panicking a little bit? I can see how you might, just curious if you are able to ask and answer these questions yourself?

*(Hope my post doesn't sound patronising)

Escapees

I'd strongly consider going with your gut and making a clean break from the sector. I've been in the situation before where I liked a job and was highly regarded, but the job didn't like me, if that makes sense! Some jobs can be very taxing mentally or emotionally for some people (often those who are highly dedicated and committed etc.), and aren't worth that sacrifice...

con___manx1

Try find a job less stressfull that you can go home and forget about. Switch off

Even if its a pay cut. No money should affect your mental health.

I did something similar. I was working shift and it was affecting me mentally as well as physically. I left took a pay cut and am much better now.

AloneEit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123576699#Comment_123576699

I didn't make any mistakes in the old job, things just got on top of me, I was managing a difficult and jaded team which meant I often picked up other people's work. I know they thought a lot of me, I'm just afraid of the same thing happening again. Not patronizing at all by the way thank you for the kind words.

The current job is different in that I have struggled because it's more talking and networking focused than the old job, which I found incredibly difficult at the beginning. I feel I grew into it but perhaps a little bit too late.

I am definitely overthinking, which I'm hoping the assessment will help with. I've suspected for a very long time I might be undiagnosed with panic disorder and general anxiety.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123576767#Comment_123576767

This is my feeling as well, exactly to the word in a way. I gave it my all without asking for anything in return. I'm not as secure as I'd like to be financially to leave the sector but I would have enough for a year for sure. It just feels like a critical decision to make at this point and I can't continue to seek permission.

cluelessoz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123576862#Comment_123576862

It sounds as if your feeling so much pressure, I have to agree with the others, perhaps it's time to walk away? Or is it possible to cut back the work load or hours?

See how tomorrow goes, write down any questions or things your worried about and maybe bring them up in the phone call?

cluelessoz

Forgot to say you mention about picking up after others work, is there anyway that could stop? Might you be taken advantage of to do so?

AloneEit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123576898#Comment_123576898

I think I've learned some new skills in the current job that would help me hold others at arm's length if I thought they were trying to fob work off on me. I would like to think I'd be better at it, but timing is so important in my sector I would probably fall into old habits of doing things myself.

I don't know, I think you're right and I'll just feel out things as much as I can tomorrow. It's only a short call I think.

cluelessoz

It's a tricky one. On one hand it sounds like taking a risk, but weather it's worth it or not, no one knows.

If you were to take the job back, have you any support outside of work if things were to begin to build up again and have a negative effect on your MH?

AloneEit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123577080#Comment_123577080

I am quite lonely but I do have friends to support me who are either in another county or away on work.

I understand I can primarily protect my MH by fixing my lifestyle, which I feel ready to do.

cluelessoz

See how tomorrow goes, I'm sure you don't have to give a definite answer yet. Be open with them about your worries. Your trying to get back on track,go easy on yourself, sounds like you have been having a really tough time, be on your side.

Hope the call goes well.

AloneEit

Thanks for your kind words everyone.

I was motivated this week and got a number of things done, but an email yesterday kind of sent me spiralling again just before I did the interview. I've done so many positive things in this job and made a difference, but I am fixating on the negative.

The interview went well, they really want me back.

I'm in a difficult spot trying to decide what to do, hopefully by Monday I'll have some clarity. I'm sure I'm not the only one who found themselves way too deep into a sector so I'm trying to not take myself so seriously.

Sonic the Shaghog

Let me guess the social care sector. The amount I know what burn out due to stress it's a joke. You are doing the right thing getting out

AloneEit

Not quite! Funnily I started in the social care sector, I've been in finance for 12 years.

HildaOgdenx

I know you mentioned having a psychological assessment coming up, OP, but have you tried counselling?

It can help to discuss what's going on with a professional and also to learn techniques for managing anxiety.

AloneEit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123588049#Comment_123588049

I tried counselling a couple of years ago, about 8 sessions. It helped to talk, but I was primarily looking for permission to make this decision of leaving the sector. I realised a counsellor, or anyone for that matter, can't make the decision for me, which ended up making me even more ill.

Escapees

Calling a spade a spade, I think you know well that you should leave the sector or at least make a clean break from it for now. As the previous poster suggested, there's more going on in your head than just this decision and therefore returning to some counselling would only be of benefit for your future.

Wanderer78

id mirror opinions above about bringing a therapist of some form into the equation here, it sounds like theres a lot of stuff going on with you op, theres no harm in doing this, ive had to do it a couple of times in my life, regretting not doing so earlier. you d be surprised how much crap in your head can muddle your thought process, its great to hear some famous people being more open about working with therapists etc, to try de-clutter their own thought process.

it does sound like you re experiencing significant career burn out, so an exit strategy maybe needed now, and a therapist can be a very beneficial part of that process, id also be recommending stepping back from work altogether, ideally taking time out of work altogether, or at least significant reducing working hours, i appreciate this isnt always possible, for many different reasons, but this can be a significant benefit in sorting it all out, it can also be extremely beneficial to society at large to, as you ll come back much more refreshed and be far more productive, and more importantly, happier.

best of luck with whatever you chose

AloneEit

I just realised a certain aspect of acceptance about what happened.

As I said I did make a mistake in the current job and it's been building for awhile. I didn't know how to fix it really. I think it came to a head a few months ago when my boss and their boss were cc'ed in a reply I gave to a person where I was casual in undelivering on something. I've no problem with the person for doing that as they are under immense pressure as well, and they are a good person.

I know things are happening in the background that I'm not aware of, whether firing or PIP I don't know. I've been more or less told I'd be moving under another manager/team where PIPing would be easier than where I am now, or at the very least a manager better placed to conduct a review of my work.

My boss seems completely nonplussed about these issues now which is an odd turn of events and only focused on my wellbeing, so I think they're more or less telling me to get better because there's no point in worrying at this point.

So that will be my focus now, me and not the job.