Any people who aren't transphobic but are bathroom activists? Am I gullible and being misled?

George White

I am a trans person (I am a guy who identifies as transfeminine, I try to avoid labelling myself), but I've never felt comfortable in a women's bathroom. My mother used to force me to use them when I was little so she could help me, but even when presenting femme…

I used to be very pro-trans, and still mostly am, but I do almost feel that this speech by 22 year old US democrat Jonah Orion Wheeler has a point.

‘The consent of one person cannot stand for the consent of another person. If there are women who feel unsafe… then we should listen to those women. Just because a small segment of the population would like those policies to accommodate them over women doesn’t mean that we can do that. Putting in place policies that say women who were born women deserve a place to themselves… is not transphobic.’

Jonah Orion Wheeler (@jonahowheeler): "Last Thursday, I gave a speech on the House floor in favor of legislation to enable sports, and other spaces, in certain instances, to separate based on sex. Leading up to HB148, I heard from many women who felt as though their privacy, and voice had been overlooked and unheard." | XCancel

I don't agree with TERFs on a lot of things (especially what a woman is, I believe intersex women are biological women, which has alienated me from the LGB community), and I do feel that someone like Dr. Upton (the trans woman who was accused of being a menace just for using the women's bathroom by Nurse Sandra Peggie) was unfairly maligned.

However, as someone who was sexually assaulted by a woman, I do feel for the idea of the vulnerable woman who needs single sex spaces. But every thing my trans friends and trans-friendly feminist friends tells me I am being sold a niche idea perpetuated by hateful anti-trans people. Part of my brain tells me this, because I know the idea of a bathroom predator was invented by US right-wing nuts. But at the same time I understand why not-trans people would feel discomforted by a not female-passing transvestite using a female bathroom. But then at the same time, I'm like, 'unisex bathrooms exist. Part of me tells me I'm falling for a 'white knight' situation conjured up to paint all trans women as potentially problematic. Like it seems all 'vulnerable women' are TERFs.

People tell me I am acting in bad faith, I've been lured in by something perpetuated by the religious right. Sometimes I feel I am gullible. I did want to join the LGB community because I do believe sexuality and gender are different things (speaking as an asexual), but it seems that even 'moderate' LGB types get really narky and hateful about trans people. I feel like I don't belong in either category. I love trans people and I like being trans, but I do have sympathies for the LGB's 'genuine concerns', which sometimes don't seem to be that genuine.

Am I being too sincere for my own good?

Or is it that my own particular situation is so specific that it doesn't really matter, and merely accidentally corresponds to transphobic propaganda?