Desperately need some advice

mcgregor102

I moved to Canada in 2015 and spent a couple of years in Toronto and loved almost every second. I really enjoyed the lifestyle, my friends, my favourite restaurants, the social scene, there was always something to do, and I honestly thought that I would spend the rest of my life over there.

In 2019 I was looking for a new challenge, I just wanted to get away for a year and try something different. I got offered a job in Saudi Arabia and decided to take it with the intention of returning to Canada in 2020, that was always the plan, I remember saying to my friends that I'd be back in a year, then the pandemic happened and I couldn't get back into Canada, I tried everything, so I decided to stay in Saudi Arabia for a few years.

There are pros and cons with living in both countries

Saudi Arabia- My salary is double what I was making in Canada, less working hours, nicer apartment, no tax, good healthcare, but no social life at all, I don't have a lot of friends, and when I do meet them, we don't really do anything exciting, I live in a small city, and I really miss my old life, I was the best version of myself in Canada and I was so much happier.

Canada: My salary was lower and I worked a lot, about 10 extra hours every week, but I had the best memories with all my friends, I looked forward to every weekend because there was always an event to attend, a new bar to go to, a new restaurant to sample and it was so fun, I never felt bored and I never got tired of the city.

I'm desperate to go back to Canada, but there are a few problems, there is a massive rental crisis in Toronto, much worse than the current crisis in Dublin and I'm afraid that I might not be able to find a place to rent, I'd more than likely have to take a massive pay cut, but I feel like my standard of life would be must better and I know I'd be much happier every day, even if I had to work an extra 40 hours a month for a lower salary.

Saudi Arabia: Finish my contract which ends next year, remain unhappy until then, but save some money for other endeavors in the future, but live a boring life for 9 months with nothing to do on the weekends, only go to the gym.

I know that I would be four times happier back in Canada, but I'm worried about the housing crisis, inflation, and the upcoming recession and I feel like it could be a much different experience than the one that I had prior, a lot has changed since 2019

What should I do? Should I take a gamble and try to plan for a life in Canada again or should I stay in Saudi Arabia?

Leg End Reject

Life is short, go back to Canada where you'll be happy. Money makes life easier but it doesn't make you happy. You work less and have more money, but your quality of life is lower.

Could your friends in Toronto help you find accommodation? Maybe finish out your contract and save to set set yourself up when you go back?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I'd start networking with friends ASAP to be honest: if your contract ends in nine months, you're going to need a place to stay one way or the other. if something comes up sooner, take it. Happiness is important and it sounds like you have enough to take the paycut.

Does it have to be one or the other, though? Are their other options?

jackboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058348167/desperately-need-some-advice

If you move back to Canada there is no guarantee it will be anything like you experienced before. You are a few years older. Your friends there may have moved on with their lives now, some may want different things, some may have got married and have families. Don't make the mistake of thinking you will be slotting right back into your old life, you wont.

kippy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122045418#Comment_122045418

Id agree strongly with this. As people's lives move on they change. Less time for out and about, maybe more focused on relationships/kids etc.

That said if you think that Canada is better for your long term happiness then you probably need to do what you can to get back there.

herbalplants

I agree with above two posters. Don't think you will find the same old life in Canada. Plus I believe that Canada has changed in the last couple of years and not in good!! Research

Gerard93

Go back to Canada on a holiday back to the area where u used live etc meet up with friends get a feel for it this might help with your decision

Pauliedragon

If Canada didn't work out (I agree with the posters above) would SA be an option to go back to? If so I'd give Canada a go.

pgj2015

You cant stay in SA if the gym is the highlight of the week. id get the hell out of there asap and if Canada doesn't work out just go somewhere more lively and better than SA, never do a job or live somewhere for money, there is more to life.

mrslancaster

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122047874#Comment_122047874

This ^^ life is too short to live in a place that's making you miserable.

mcgregor102

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122045404#Comment_122045404

The accommodation crisis has gotten completely out of control within the past few years, much worse than Ireland, plus rent has doubled in some areas, it's close to impossible to find an affordable place nowadays, I could probably stay on a friend's couch for a few weeks

mcgregor102

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122045418#Comment_122045418

That's what I'm worried about, people have moved on and it would prob be completely different vibes this time around, I would be a bit worried about things not working out as well as they did last time, a lot has changed since 2019

mykrodot

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048286#Comment_122048286

that sounds dramatic. How do you know accommodation is "completely out of control, worse than Ireland " in Toronto? You're hearing that 3rd hand. In Ireland we are actually seeing it and living it every day. And rent has doubled here! This is the country where young people are leaving in their droves for Australia, unless they want to live with Mam and Dad. Friends of mine got married recently and are living with her Mam!

Also I would say that your previous stint in Canada was that fabulous period of your life, young, exploring everything, away from home, good job, good money, exciting country. It happens to tens of thousands of people. Its usually in your twenties. Life changes, people move on, going back a 2nd time is often a far lesser experience than the first. Be careful that you're not always chasing that elusive dream, that first time. Life is constantly changing and you often look back and wish you could be back there. But be realistic too, the World is changing.

If you're not happy in SA I would get out of there. Get away for a month, work remotely if possible. It sounds like it's not for you. Good luck.

I lived in both the UK and US before settling back in Ireland. We especially enjoyed living in London because most of the time we were there our friends were not in serious relationships so we had a great social life. I went back to visit friends a few years after we left, and realised what a difference those few years made, many of our friends had settled down, now had mortgages, we were older and life had changed. I just accepted that we were in the right place at the right time when we lived in London, but it was never going to be anything like it was 5 years later.

I suspect you are nostalgic for what you had, and who you and your friends were 5 years ago, but time, and people move on.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048334#Comment_122048334

That is true, a lot of people settle down and cut their once good friends from their lives and only hang out with other couples.

standardg60

You said it yourself OP, by 2019 you were looking for a new challenge.

It's no different to harking back on an old relationship when you're feeling a bit low, remembering all the good times but forgetting why you broke up.

Start saving and looking for a new challenge while you're working out your contract.

pgj2015

Is there anything you can think of to do at the weekends in SA while finishing your contract?

maybe set up a group for other westerners to do something together?

miamee

OP, I agree with others that life will have changed in Canada since you were last there, 5 years is a very long time. Unless you are going back for someone or something in particular, I'd open up my options to include other places.

You are looking back with rose-tinted glasses comparing your quiet life now to the sociable, fun-filled time you had in Canada but something about that wasn't fulfilling you either - you say yourself you felt like getting away and trying something new which led you to Saudi Arabia. You might want to be more honest with yourself about what you are looking for and what will really make you content or happy before you make another big move.

mcgregor102

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048333#Comment_122048333

It's really bad!!!!!Canada currently has a massive refugee crisis and they also took in a lot more Ukrainians than most other countries, I'm in constant contact with close friends and the rental market is the worst that they've ever seen

n.d.os

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058348167/desperately-need-some-advice

You’ve made the decision to return to Canada, but it seems challenging, and you feel stuck. My advice is to start saving money now so that you can make the leap back to Canada within a year. Set a specific timeframe for this goal. Additionally, consider reaching out to a recruitment agency in Canada closer to the time you plan to move back. They can provide guidance on quickly securing a new role there. If returning directly to Canada proves difficult, think about temporarily moving back to Ireland. Staying with friends or family there while you arrange job opportunities and accommodation in Canada might be a more practical and safer approach. Remember that major life changes can have both mental and practical challenges, so taking smaller steps can be beneficial. With anything in life you need to take small steps, commit to them, and not just just launch straight into something. If you are unwilling or unable to take the small steps initially, then you won't make the bigger leap later on.

mcgregor102

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048689#Comment_122048689

There's not a lot to do, I'm about 2 1/2 hours away from the nearest major city, there are a couple of westerners that I'm friends with, all we do is drink coffee, there's nothing really within reach, I'm in a conservative part of the country, so men and women don't really mix

mcgregor102

That's exactly it, my biggest fear is taking a massive step again without adequate planning

kirving

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048334#Comment_122048334

Within the space of just 12 months, I left Ireland, and five of my friend group, all the same age are having kids. Put simply, I really amn't missing as many social event as I thought I would be. In time, I'll miss their kids growing up, but I might be back in Ireland, they could move, etc.

Even if my move didn't work out, there's no way I can reset the clock back 3,4,5 years and have the same social life again.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049097#Comment_122049097

Sounds like hell, especially to an Irish person. I wouldn't live somewhere like that for 10 million euro a year.

jackboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049097#Comment_122049097

Is there somewhere else in the middle east worth considering? That option could be an easier less stressful move.

I see sheep

Surely Canada or Saudi Arabia aren't the only 2 choices?

I wouldn't live in Saudi for any amount of money tbh.

I've never lived in Canada but I've friends who do/did, some liked it some say it's too boring.

I'd prefer to live in Europe than either of those 2.

I see sheep

Also surely you knew what Saudi was like before going there?

(Are you Jordan Henderson? 😂)

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049101#Comment_122049101

take a massive step - plan it- but go somewhere else - fair play going to Canada and SA- go somewhere new where the money might still be good- would Dubai be an option?
Think of a 5 year goal - what will you be doing? What will you be earning? That may dictate where you’re living - I know you’re feeling a bit miserable right now but there are up sides to earning salary tax free so think what that may enable you to do sooner than you think

raspberrypi67

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122047874#Comment_122047874

I'd agree with a lot of them saying you should go back to Canada. Maybe start looking now for a place before your contract ends in SA. To be honest there's nothing worse than being miserable. If the gym is the only thing you look forward to then I think you have answered your own question. Life is too short. I've been in Toronto myself, great city and so much to do in Canada as a whole. Perhaps just bide your time, save a bit more then return to Canada. No pint in being unhappy. I get the impression from people going to SA, its just to save money and then return from wherever they are are from. I don't think to many people like the lack of social life in SA.

Anyway, best of luck

thereiver

People go to saudia arabia to make alot of money and pay zero tax theres good quality accomodation there , theres not the range of pubs cafes that one would find in a western country. you should be thinking where do i want to live ,how much money do i need to put a deposit on a house apartment ,from what i read the housing crisis in canada is even worse than ireland ,rents are high ,its hard to find good quality accomodation .

my advice is come back to ireland if you think you can get a job here and afford to pay for accomodation in dublin or some other city a small flat here in dublin is 700 euro per month if you can find one

Do you want to spend 10 years working in dubai, or saudia arabia just to save money ? having friends and a social life is important for a good quality of life or even the option to meet a girfriend

Have to agree with the above, it’s not the only reason, but the most common reason people go to somewhere like SA is money, if the op hasn’t made a load of it, why stay there for five years?

There isn’t much point complaining about the social life after 5 years, it surely must have been obvious after a couple of months. Covid or not, there were times you could have left.

pgj2015

I wouldn't come back to Dublin though, come back to a smaller busy town where the rent is way less than Dublin and you can still have an active social life.

Purple Mountain

I'd definitely be getting out of SA, you sound isolated and miserable there. But I would see out the contract. 9 months will zip by.

In that time, save every extra bob you can so you have a head start on your next move.

As someone else said, could you do a week's holiday in Canada and sus out how you like it now? Staying with friends for a week would make the trip cost effective.

A lot of people have said they preferred living in London to Dublin- would you consider that? You'd have no issues with visas or languages and it's going to have all the social amenities you're currently missing.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122055242#Comment_122055242

€700 for a flat in Dublin? That seems too low given how crazy the market is.

thereiver

The problem is in Irish city's rents are high not just Dublin if theres s small town where you can get a job that would be easier on your financial situation From what I read rents in Canadian citys are high .

Hotblack Desiato

I must have missed that memo about there only being three countries in the world now, Ireland, Canada and Saudi Arabia 🤔

If you're looking for a fun activity to do with Westerners while you're seeing out your contract, how about a home brew club 😉

thereiver

People go to Saudis Arabia because there's no tax on wages it has pubs and cafes it's trying to attract tourists in the 80s people would go to the USA or Canada to work , now Canada has a housing crisis like Ireland

You can buy a house for 120k in Ireland if you are will to live in rural areas or a small town

thereiver

I thought you could get a small room in a shared house for 700 euros

I see sheep

OP have you made a decent amount of money in Saudi?

If yes and if you're not tied down by anything else why not just go travelling for a year?

That's what I'd do!

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122045404#Comment_122045404

just be careful expecting to slip back into your old life