Young Babysitter

Sweetpea68

Hi all. Not sure if this is the right forum but it is the best one I could find.

My neighbor is a single mother of an 8 year old and a 2 year old. Since a month or so ago I've noticed that she's been leaving them home alone for short periods of time. Up to an hour. Is this even legal for a child that young to be left alone to watch such a young child?

SmallgirlBigcity

Not sure if it's illegal but it's certainly worrying. Would you try getting to know her in a friendly way and then you could find out more information about the situation? Maybe she's struggling somehow. Just an idea anyway.

Apiarist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122011289#Comment_122011289

Is OP prepared to be a (free) babysitter to help her neighbour? If not, asking about this is just an idle curiosity.

If you are concerned, just call Tusla and they will sort her out. They may even help her, who knows?

https://www.tusla.ie/services/child-protection-welfare/concerns/

Big Bag of Chips

It's not specifically illegal, I don't believe there is any age stated where it is illegal to leave a child home alone. It would probably be classed as neglectful. Are you in a position to help her? Could you watch the children for her for an hour or so occasionally?

SmallgirlBigcity

Im not suggesting they be a free babysitter. Perhaps by speaking to the mother, they could better understand the situation and perhaps make suggestions to the mother or point out how it's probably not the best idea. They could then call Tusla if they feel necessary.

MrMusician18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122011393#Comment_122011393

Tusla will not help her. What they will do is make her life a misery as they like nothing more than going after low hanging fruit.

Sweetpea68

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122011289#Comment_122011289

I've tried for 2 years to be friendly with her. She's very young. 25. I'm 55. If I say something she doesn't agree with she gets quite nasty. My husband and I gave up on her. We used to mow her lawn for her but after she became verbally abusive to me, in my face and online, we gave up on her.

Sweetpea68

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122011618#Comment_122011618

I have offered in the past, but she has lots of family here, so she declined my offer.

Madd002

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122014577#Comment_122014577

With your past experience with her leave it be, wouldn't involve tusla either as she'd suspect it was you especially if you've offered before. Just keep an eye & ear out, just in case something happens. Then and if Authority is called for whatever reason they'd charge her with neglect for leaving them there alone

JVince

Op - don't interfere with other people's lives. Just because you think it's an issue doesn't mean it is an issue.

Back in the 70's I, my brothers and many classmates travelled to school in central Dublin from the suburbs on our own - from age 7. That was NORMAL.

If normal precautions are taken, there should be no problem leaving an 8 year old with a 2/3 year old for an hour or so.

Maybe the reason she doesn't engage with you is because you are trying to implement your standards on her when it's absolutely none of your business

Sweetpea68

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122014660#Comment_122014660

I have not interfered with anyone. I was just asking for advice.

As for her, the only time she has had it out for me is when I kindly asked her to not let her kids play in our front yard. She was very offended. We've had problems with kids on the estate and she's the only one that has been offended.

KaneToad

There is no minimum age for leaving kids alone. However if neglect is an issue TUSLA become involved irrespective of the ages involved.

No idea if neglect is involved in this case. But, OP, if you genuinely suspect neglect you should contact TUSLA.

advisemerite

To be brutally honest, you sound like a busy body. Tulsa will do a simple spot check and if kids aren't badly neglected. They will do nothing.

It sounds like you and your Husband have an agenda. At 55 and I assume your Husband is similar age it's weird you'd be interested in a young girls life, mowing her lawn and so on. I hope this isn't cruel because it's not my intention but it sounds like your Husband has an ulterior motive, as in fancying the young Girl or something. Why would he mow her lawn? Or why would you befriend her. Leave the Girl alone. And be careful involving authority. She'll most likely know it was you.

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Warned for breach of charter. Mature constructive advice please.

JVince

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122014670#Comment_122014670

christ, if you cannot see by your own post above that you are an interfering busybody then that really explains why that mother despises you.

Leave her alone.

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Warned for breach of charter. Not appropriate in this forum. Please read The Charter before posting again.

Princess Calla

Ah here, I think people are being very hard on the OP.

My kids are of similar age and absolutely no way I'd leave them alone in the house. So many things can go wrong.

I also don't find neighbours helping out with the gardening odd. Alot of my neighbours are retired and enjoy gardening, they'd happily mow the grass if they thought they were giving you a help.

OP I wouldn't engage with her if she has made her boundaries clear with you already.

It's a far from ideal situation but ultimately not your business. You've offered to help in the past, you've done what you can.

evolvingtipperary101

It's human to be worried. But given her behavior and attitude to you, it's best you leave her life to her. Nobody wants to see kids vulnerable or on their own but you risk making your lives hell in that estate if you interfere. As you said, she has lots of family and she doesn't want your help. You'll have to accept it as none of your business. You can't help people who don't want to be helped.

Give up on watching her comings and goings too. It's not healthy for you or anyone.

Sweetpea68

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122014700#Comment_122014700

You have it all wrong. My husband is far from fancying her. He's a very nice man who does alot to help others. Her ex had left her and that is when he offered to help mow her lawn and I offered to watch her kids if she needed a break.

Just because someone is helpful doesn't mean they are interested.

All I was doing was asking a question. have no intention of doing anything.

SteM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122014700#Comment_122014700

Someone tries to help their neighbour but they're only doing it because the husband fancies her? Would you get a grip, neighbours help each other all the time. If you don't then that's fine, don't judge others that do in such a poor way.

Big Bag of Chips

Sweetpea68, are you sure they are alone? How often and for how long? You said for short periods, up to an hour. The small child might be in bed, and the older one watching telly. Mam has to run to the shop. It's easier to leave the older one there with the younger one asleep for a few minutes. If she has loads of family around maybe she has them keeping an eye too. She may have left her phone with the older one and told them to ring nanny/aunty/cousin if they need anything.

I have 4 children. The eldest would have been left alone at 8 at times. I would never have left him in charge of the others but if a younger child was asleep and I knew likely to stay asleep for an hour or 2 I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. My eldest child was an exception though, the younger ones were never left at home alone at that age because they were different children and I wouldn't have been happy with them home alone.

But my eldest at 8, there was no issue and no chance he was going to do anything he shouldn't.

Sweetpea68

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122017264#Comment_122017264

Yes I'm sure they are alone. My husband and I don't work because of his disability. Our sitting room window is quite large and faces the street. It happens at least once or twice a week for varying lengths. I've only seen her return home once with a shopping bag.

I'm not about to do anything. My husband and I are civil with her when we see her in passing. I was just curious about the legalities because I'm not originally from Ireland. I married an Irishman and remained here.

Big Bag of Chips

All posters are reminded to keep it civil when offering advice please.

No need for namecalling.