Strangest workplace occurrences

dublincc2

What are the weirdest incidents to happen in the workplace you have experienced?

Mine was about 20 years ago when I was working in an office in Dublin City centre and in the gents someone had repeatedly taken a dump in the urinal. After about four or five incidents of it happening and complaints from cleaning staff and employees a colleague who was fairly high up in the company and seemed perfectly normal with a good family and nice car etc, was caught in the act defecating into the urinal. He said the first time he did it was because he had diarrhoea and was caught short and the rest of the time he basically said he did it for no reason but for a laugh. He was sacked from the company and I haven’t heard from him since.

ELM327

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058315005/strangest-workplace-occurrences

I'm doing fine

gameoverdude

Lad who invited a recruiter into a company meeting room for a prep interview for a new job. Very strange.

the_amazing_raisin

So a few years ago a former employer was trying to boost morale or something. Making the workplace less of a horror show would have been a good start but apparently these guys had a better idea

They got a male Italian opera singer to sort of spontaneously launch into song in the middle of the canteen and music started playing on the PA speakers

The poor woman sitting at a table in front of him nearly jumped out of her own skin in terror 😂

Productivity definitely increased that day because we all abandoned the canteen within about 2 mins, place went from around 200 people to 20 in no time

Mister Vain

I worked in a job with a similar incident except someone was sh1ting on the floor. They never found out who it was though.

Two women in the same job started boxing the heads off each other one day. Only one of them got sacked.

the_amazing_raisin

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121144608#Comment_121144608

I thought that was in response to my story and someone was spontaneously **** on the floor of the canteen 😱

So was it the winner or loser who got sacked?

ZeroThreat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121144590#Comment_121144590

lol did you work in the fictional 'Axe Capital' from the TV show Billions? 😂

Sounds like something that would happen on that show.

Pherekydes

Being marched to mass on Sundays and holy days.

blackbox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121145153#Comment_121145153

Were you working as a priest?

Pherekydes

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121145250#Comment_121145250

🤣🤣

I was in the army.

Collie D

..

A college told me they saw a ghost where we work, my husband had to take part in a mindfulness chocolate eating wellness day thing, unfortunately, some hadn't fully read the instructions and had eaten the chocolate before the mindfulness.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121147624#Comment_121147624

UCD, Trinity, DCU?

z80CPU

16 years ago

Worked in callcentre tech support. won't give any more info. certain collegue one of the longer ones on this UK/Ireland Team received Awards for going the extra mile every 6 months, a senior manager would come up to her desk and present her with it with great ceremony. This same colleague was out on sickleave a LOT. Don't know what happened her subsequently.

the_amazing_raisin

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121145116#Comment_121145116

Honestly that would probably have been an improvement

Deebles McBeebles

Just the usual phantom sh*tter. On the floor of the female toilets, a lot of times. There was a thread on this years ago and it's amazing how many people have come across a phantom sh*tter.

magicbastarder

in a place i worked, large building with ~2k people in it, someone from facilities was telling me that at one point they were getting in specialist cleaners about once a month to deal with dirty protests.

artanevilla

+1 Phantom shitter, but it was a customer in a pub so maybe not that strange.

the_amazing_raisin

I'm alarmed at the number of phantom sh!tters around the place, kinda glad it never seems to have happened anywhere I worked

There was a trail of it leading out the bathroom door once, probably more someone was a bit too late making to the jacks and decided to make a quick exit instead before anyone caught them

On an non sh!t related topic, a guy I worked with was telling me about his days working in a pub. One of the regulars passed away at the bar one day

The departed was in his late 80s or so, came into the pub every afternoon and stayed until around closing. He'd often nod off at some point and the staff would wake him to send him home

Anyway, he fell asleep one day and his body decided enough was enough and stopped being alive. Staff shook him a few times later that day and noticed he was unresponsive and called the ambulance who informed them he was dead several hours at that point

Probably not the worst way to go all things considered

TokTik

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121147667#Comment_121147667

I’m a bit lost. Was she riding the manager?

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121156659#Comment_121156659

F** YOU

Princess Calla

Well that escalated 😂

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121157018#Comment_121157018

Perhaps missing quotation marks?

One hopes.

Ardent

At our sales kick-off not too long ago, we were having dinner in a large function room...

At one table, a fella gave his German colleague the Sieg Heil salute. I'm not sure what they were talking about or what the context was.

At another table, as the top performers were being announced and celebrated, a female colleague was overheard remarking "well clearly I didn't suck enough cock".

Both were sacked the very next day.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121157109#Comment_121157109

Neither sucked enough cock so.

Mrs OBumble

Got to work one Monday to hear that the company PR guy (always seemed like a lovely, sincere lad) - had hanged himself in a police cell over the weekend. Apparently after being charged with sex offences involving children.

Scar001

Phantom shitter used a clean line in Galway med device company recently I believe.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121157420#Comment_121157420

I do not believe that for a second.

miamee

I worked in a relatively small company a long time ago. The daily office staff was almost exclusively women aside from the head of finance. There were other male members of staff but a lot of them were in sales and on the road most of the time. Anyway, a position was created to help the finance team as they were short-staffed. The finance manager interviewed several people and in the end chose a guy. Cue lots of jokes about finance manager feeling out numbered by women and trying to bolster the male number in the office. This new guy sat on the main office floor along with all of the other women so was nothing 'special' but was treated like the messiah by the finance manager. They'd be off golfing and lunching together and having a rare oul time. Finance manager delighted with life.

Several months after he started the new guy just wasn't there one day. It turned out there were a few issues with his work, a few anomalies that had turned into problems, a conversation was had and he just left. When he was gone and they went through his desk drawers there were literally thousands of euros worth of cheques stuffed in there that he had just never bothered to log or lodge or do anything with. He made such a balls of the accounting system (that he said he knew how to use and didn't need help or training with) that a friend of mine who also worked in accounts (part-time) plus the finance manager spent months undoing all the crap he had done as well as catch up on all the stuff he had not done. Cheques allocated to the wrong customers, not allocated at all, we had hundreds of customers. Disaster.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121157467#Comment_121157467

You don't believe that it happened?

Or don't believe it was the strangest thing ive experienced? I guess I've been lucky in that all my colleagues have been toilet trained.

DeanAustin

+1 Phantom shitter.

Except, it was a regular occurrence. The junior people were getting blamed. Little by little, over a year, we figured out it was the CFO.

Deebles McBeebles

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121158691#Comment_121158691

I'm not sure if lucky is the right word. Sure, you never encountered a PS, but I've never encountered a kiddy diddler.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121159411#Comment_121159411

Chief Flatulence Officer?

Wirked in public libraries where phantom sh1tters were a “regular” event. Always divided up into little helpings for each shelf section. I think somebody must have cones anrm with a bowl and used a spatula to distribute. Idea was to destroy the books for sone reason.

JustAsking2022

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121155474#Comment_121155474

we had one too in my office!

Leg End Reject

I obviously work in very boring places, the worst was my stapler being robbed. 😂

Dramatik

Worked in an investment company on harcourt st.

We had a new member of staff, quirky guy, the girls on the team didn't seem to like him much and thought that he was a bit creepy. Anyway, a few months into him working there, his partner had a kid.

Everyone congratulated him gave him cards ect. However a couple of weeks after the child was born people started noticing something strange as they walked past his desk (his desk was closest to the isle, just as you entered the room. Basically everyone had to walk by his desk, to get to their own desk)

What was odd? You ask...

The guy had f**king a picture of his wife breast feeding his kid as his wallpaper background and not just her sitting in a chair in a room feeding it but a proper full quality zoomed in picture, like you could see the dimples on the nipple and the baby's head spanned almost the full height of the screen.

Complaints we made by a number of staff and he was told by our manager that it was inappropriate for the workplace and to remove it...

...but he didn't, he refused to remove it, claiming that it was "natural"

He stuck to his guns, refused to remove it and was eventually fired after a number of meetings with managers at various levels in the company.

As a final note, there was also a phantom shitter in this company too

Deebles McBeebles

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121159812#Comment_121159812

Colloquially known in Cork as 'doing a Heasman'.

Tinter Box

Too many to mention. Worked for big multi nationals. One guy fired for urinating in a plant pot at Xmas party in front of boss. On another occasion a pregnant lady was bitten by a rat in the toilet ( I was based in Asia at the time). One guy did an unwanted striptease for the team the night of another works night out ( He was in his 50s) Weirdest though was when Garda arrived at the office to arrest a guy. Took us a while to find out what he had been up to but he got 5 + years for offences which were very serious and sexual in nature.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121159908#Comment_121159908

..

silliussoddius

I worked for a financial services company and there was a colleague that I had always known wasn't fond of his job. One day I asked him a straight forward question and shortly after he got up and went into HR handed in his notice and walked out. I still can't decide if it was strange or admirable.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121158691#Comment_121158691

No I do not. You have loads of stories about every situation imaginable.

NewbridgeIR

Annoying

One place I worked in had no windows in the toilets. There was one guy who would constantly turn off the lights on his way out if there were people in the cubicles. So the place would be pitch dark. Not ideal for wiping.

Strange

We used large jars of instant coffee where one person constantly poured boiling water into

There was also a similar issue with cornflakes. Three or four of us would buy a large box and have some for breakfast each day. On a few occasions, we found a large quantity of milk poured into the plastic inner bag thereby ruining it for everyone else. And wasting a load of milk in the process.

We never found out who was responsible.

TokTik

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121160486#Comment_121160486

Why would darkness impact wiping??

Ive heard of people who “couldn’t find their arse with both hands” but it was always a joke.

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121160718#Comment_121160718

Well for starters you can't inspect the toilet roll to ensure that the job is done correctly. No one likes a crusty arse.

Given the choice, I'd say close to 100% of people would prefer the light on rather than off.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121160824#Comment_121160824

No one likes a crusty arse.

My new motto! 🤣

cj maxx

I fell asleep on top of a big AC duct and heard the boss and super walking below me. They went to another room and I jumped down with tool belt . They asked me where i was and I replied that they walked past me and must be blind 😷

SEPT 23 1989

I had to make small talk with an republican activist while we were waiting together for the establishments manager to come down and pay the weekly protection money

magicbastarder

the cryptic fecal officer?

BrianD3

Never had a phantom sh1tter in any place I've worked in However one had bad plumbing and sewerage and sh1tty sludge would occasionally ooze up out of the shower outlet. Management did not care as their offices were at the far end of the building from the sh1tty mess.

To continue the sh1tty theme, my friend worked in a place which got into serious financial difficulties and everything from stationary to toilet paper ran out. That prompted some staff to do "dirty protests" in the toilets. Some wiped their arses using a rotary towel rack.

Buddy Bubs

Need a new thread with a poll to find out how many phantom dumpers are out there. Have to say, never came across one but it seems common.

Lewis_Benson

Nevermind phantom shitters, we had a phantom wanker.