Are You One Of Those People Who Does Not Like to Compliment Themselves?

toggle toes

Since my health scare in 2016 I had to reflect on my life. One of the traits that I struggled with was self confidence. I had to put a lot of hard work and effort in to rebuild my self confidence.

Now anytime I achieve a certain goal wether it be big or small I give myself a pat on the back and pay myself a compliment.

So do you like me pay yourself a compliment or do you feel complimenting yourself might feel like bragging?

Jim_Hodge

I never think about it either way, to be honest. I just do whatever or achieve whatever and move on.

Do you then berate yourself every time you fail to achieve something?

Gregor Samsa

I’m absolutely brilliant - world class, I’d confidently say - at putting myself down and underplaying anything that might look like an achievement.

elperello

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058313111/are-you-one-of-those-people-who-does-not-like-to-complime-themselves

Bragging would require a second person to be listening to your self congratulation.

So no it's not bragging.

Carry on being kind to yourself.

toggle toes

I suppose but I had a conversation about this with a group of friends and most of them said they find it easier to compliment their friends than compliment themselves.

When I asked why they found difficult to compliment themselves one said he never really thought about it and another said in his mind it felt like bragging. I wonder is it just an Irish thing that we tend not to compliment ourselves when we achieve whatever goals we set ou to achieve?

SuperBowserWorld

It was an Irish Catholic thing to not go above your station, feel guilty, and keep beating yourself up. So how could anyone ever congratulate themselves in that culture.

Not sure now. A lot of fake self congratulation, such as everything is awesome.

I find it very hard to give a compliment sincerely unless it's something impressive, and certainly can't compliment myself on anything. I always run myself down. I have to remind myself to pat myself on the back.

The whole culture bases self worth on wealth and not on what people actually do to advance humanity or save society. And people know this is ultimately a sham in their hearts.

Count Dracula

Self praise is no praise.

Like op , you cannot spell properly .. or ... what does complime actually mean?

pappyodaniel

I would but it would be an insincere gesture. I know I'm a piece of ****.

Strumms

Similar journey, from 2016 too. A serious health issue that’s taken 7 years to completely fix.

id pay myself a compliment but privately… or perhaps in the happy thread here. It can be cathartic.

its a positive thing to think of and acknowledge your accomplishments, happiness and stuff going well in life, just enjoy them.

Enough oddballs taking aim at others these days to knock them for having the temerity of being well, successful, happy and enjoying life on their terms and without grifting from anyone .…… and said eejits simultaneously trying to boost their own ego and standing with this carry on …nope…. Live well I say and be happy , also, it’s the best revenge !

be proud of yourself ! And fûck the begrudgers 🥳

fizzypish

I'm in the same boat. Don't like giving myself compliments or receiving them. I don't enjoy gifts either. Makes me uncomfortable. Trying to fix it slowly over time. Its necessary too. Can't live in a neutral void all the time.

BrianD3

I have no difficulty complimenting myself or beating myself up after taking into account evidence, luck, circumstances etc.

For example, in school and college I did very well academically (was in about the 97th percentile for LC points) but not quite as well as I needed to do to achieve my goals. Given that I received a lot of encouragement from my parents and showed a lot of academic promise as a child, I beat myself up over this underachievement.

On the other side, I have generally been rubbish at sport and didn't receive much encouragement as a kid or show any aptitude for it - so am pretty proud of my mediocre sporting achievements.

I don't take much notice of compliments from other people as they are often fake, given out too easily, ill informed or there is an agenda behind them. With age I have learned not to take notice of the criticism, insults or "advice" either. Most people don't have a clue what they are talking about.

z80CPU

I always do but not out loud.

Post covid

No one else's in the whole wide world gives a flying fu¢k about ne

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121100168#Comment_121100168

"feint praise"

toggle toes

They way I see it if nobody else is going to give me a compliment I guess it's up to me. By that I don't mean everyone and anyone should go around complimenting every time I do something or say something kind.

Complimenting myself has helped me to achieve many goals in life. I used to be very low on self confidence and I had to work hard to build it back up. I say pat yourself on the back and say well done. It's not bragging, It's been kind to yourself for all you have achieved and for all you are going to achieve in the future.

NSAman

If you can’t tell yourself you did a good job, who will say it?

i don’t take compliments well. They embarrass me.

However, I have high standards for myself. If I achieve what I want to achieve, that is my satisfaction.

i don’t seek thanks or praise from others, but I always praise and thank other people …. I know, I’m odd!

Charles Babbage

My unwillingness to compliment myself is one of my finest traits, if I say so myself.

Esel

Thank me very much.

taxAHcruel

I think for myself at least I find self compliments to be a substitute for something that is otherwise missing.

Instead I simply gravitate towards things that give me purpose or meaning or enjoyment and I just work at them until I have a sense of comfort, competence and place there.

The feelings I get from that are not ones of superiority or thinking about how great I am. It's more a sense pf place and contentment.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with sitting around self complimenting oneself internally. Especially if it is done in a way that is not trying to tell yourself you are better than anyone else - but simply that you are inherently of worth.

It is just for me personally it feels a bit like taking dietary supplements. Sure - if I needed them I would take them. But I would do so feeling that I was substituting for something I could and probably should be getting in a better way elsewhere and that I was treating the symptom not the issue.