Harassment- Kids Playing and Parents abusive behavior

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065805#Comment_121065805

All your posts here have been a waste of time.

I asked you more than once to back up what you claimed I said by quoting my posts, and you couldn't.

So goodbye to you too. Enjoy the rest of your evening. :)

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065880#Comment_121065880

Exactly.

When someone quotes the ICCL as a source, you can fairly safely ignore.

OP, if this is your first experience of racism here, you're doing well.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065975#Comment_121065975

That's disgusting. Where was racism involved?

Usual rubbish posts.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065880#Comment_121065880

That is only part of what I said, and I stand over it.

Look, do your own research. Its all online.

If the OP's cameras are persistently recording their neighbours (or their neighbours kids) activities in public areas like on the green or on the road outside their boundary, they could face a claim of harassment.

There is a reason why cameras now come with the ability to set up motion zones and privacy zones. Protecting yourself from claims of invading your NEIGHBOURS privacy being the main one.

As for the alleged bad behaviour? I tend to believe that a lot of what is being claimed is paranoia on behalf of the OP.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066023#Comment_121066023

It was the OP who alleged there was racism involved.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065975#Comment_121065975

Oh, this is rich, coming from one of the most frequently ignored posters on the forum! 😂

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066061#Comment_121066061

Sounds like neighbours are right with everything. Trouble.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121064672#Comment_121064672

Honestly OP this is very hard to decipher.

Either what you are telling is completely true and as you are viewing it, in which case you've unfortunately bought in an awful area with awful people and need to move on ASAP as this will never be resolved.

Or some small issues with local kids have happened during the summer holidays, you reacted which then gave rise to further issues and now you are viewing everything people do in the estate as aimed at you when a lot of it might just be paranoia.

Curse These Metal Hands

I don't see why it's so hard to believe that the OP asked kids to stop coming on their property and then the entitled and ignorant parents threw a few slurs at them because they think because they've lived there longer then they have the run of the place.

The fact that they've set up a marquee/tent on the green suggests they are probably in houses owned by the council.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066072#Comment_121066072

It sounds to me like the OP unwittingly antagonised their neighbours over the kids playing, and now they see everything the neighbours do through a haze of paranoia.

The neighbours are watching them? Stalking them? Recruiting other parents against them? Inviting teenagers from other estates to come over and torment them? Setting up a tent outside their house to watch them?

The one thing I could believe is racist language being used towards them, but other than that, I find this all very, very far-fetched.

There is also a lesson here. If you're going to be intolerant of children playing, then don't buy a house facing a green area.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066099#Comment_121066099

I'd say there's a chance it's just somewhere in the middle.

Exactly what you said above has happened, but now everything these people do, the OP feels is directed at them.

Ie; they put up a tent in the green, the OP thinks this is to 'stalk' them when it's probably them just putting a tent up in the green for some other arbitrary reason.

Either way, should hopefully die down once the schools go back/the season changes. Does really sour living in that spot though, not sure I'd be wanting to live there long term with that around me.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121065463#Comment_121065463

Well it appears the OP purchased a house on front of a public green area but doesnt want anyone using this green area! Kids playing is what happens on green areas so Im not sure what the OP expected. I am trying to establish if the OP is the only resident with this issue - they mention that they are in a row of houses - surely this issue is an issue for their neighbours also or is the OP over reacting or being over sensitive. It does sound like the OP perhaps dealt with this situation very badly and it has now escalated.

However racist comments from neighbours is disgusting and should not be tolerated.

Being honest probably the best solution is for the OP to move to a country area- it does sound like they are not suited to living in an estate or a built up area.

Timfy

A little while ago when I was still living in the UK, I owned a lovely large house in the centre of an estate. The estate was a busy loop and we were in a cul de sac in the very centre meaning that it was a quiet place with no traffic. An ideal spot for the local kids to play.

We were located at the end centre of the cul de sac and our garden and driveway made an obvious goal for the local kids. The sound of a ball bouncing of our garage door grew tiresome very quickly and so myself and my neighbour, who shared the driveway, purchased a cheap set of goalposts for the local kids to drag out in front of our drive. The kids returned the little bit of respect we showed by always putting the goalposts away when they finished playing.

Bonus points in that we always got a box of choccys at christmas from them too!

Kids are by their very nature noisy, dirty, sometimes obnoxious little creatures but it is rare enough to find truly bad ones. I know that, looking back, I was a little **** when I was a kid but never acted out of malice. Live and let live!

Racism though, that's just wrong and should be reported on every occasion.

marauxsal

Thank you all for taking the time to respond and for sharing your comments and thoughts.

I understand some of you might think this issue is exaggerated but no one can understand unless you are experiencing the harassment or racism unless you are in that situation so suggest please stay non-judgemental.

Secondly to answer your question about why being in a professional jobs matter- yes it does matter one we have no time for this nonsense second we can’t lower ourselves to their levels of creating issues to harass others. We come to relax and your hOme must be your safe heaven not otherwise.

I find it extremely hard to understand how some of you have started to focus on the CCTV/data protection and forgot about the main issue which is harassment, stalking and racism. I am baffled. I wouldn’t be here looking for suggestions if I felt the issue is petty and I have invested time, money and efforts to develop relationships with these people and to receive this extreme behavior is unwarranted.

Regarding the CCTV, we are aware of its purpose and use and we have a sign up on our property and our neighbors have been advised and they have similar cameras. It is installed to protect our property/us and no data has been captured beyond its purpose so let me end the point there.

The genuine question here what are my legal options and that’s all and if there are none so be it.

We have spent a lot on this property which is a bungalow type with separate driveway and front garden and a small fence outside and asking people stay away from our property is a reasonable ask one may find. This is trespassing and to your answer question the ball doesn’t run into other neighbours property yes it doesn’t but only within our property.

marauxsal

we are not being paranoid about every action and they are deliberately provoking us which had became apparent with every action. Anyways my purpose of coming here is to find solution to this issue.

spaceHopper

@marauxsal you are handling this all wrong. Kids playing on a green is a good think. They will lose the odd ball and will go after it. It's one of their most prized possessions. They have no interest in harassing or stalking you, they just want to get back to playing football. You were advised to do nothing, kids are back to school this week, GAA and Soccer starts back up. There will be a natural drop off in activity. Please listen and take that advice.

We've put tent up on the green for the kids to play in, more than one parent has. They have better things to do that stalk and harrass you, they put big ten up for their kids to use, or to have a neighbourhood street party, lot as estates do this.

The advice still stands, take as step pack and let the winter cool everything down. You are the one escalating this. If you can't take a step back then it won't resolve itself you will only make it worse. At that point you be better for moving.

marauxsal

Hi there thanks so much for your lovely suggestion. I genuinely spent a lot of time, effort and money on our neighbors and their kids. Bought chocolate box and very single weekend for the past 8 months with a hope they would be good and change their behavior but they have total advantage of our good nature and think they own our front garden and our rear garden now which is annoying.

SteM

I don't think anyone will be able to give you the legal options you are hoping for but I'd agree with the earlier posters that the ball playing will stop over the next few weeks as the weather turns and the days get shorter, ignore the kids because no matter what happens you will never win against a bunch of brats.

Personally I would be looking to move rather than live around people that are openly racist but I understand that's not always an option. If the Gardaí tell you to report every racist incident then that's what you should do and hopefully people get whatever punishment they deserve.

marauxsal

Hi there,

I am not the only one with an issue, my next neighbor does experience the same but she is very old cannot do anything about it. We lived in Dublin estates for the past 21 years and are very patient people don’t create noise and best neighbours one could have and that’s the reputation we have developed over the years. We have moved to county side with a Hope of developing and growing old with a community but of course we made a bad decision of choosing a neighborhood that’s not inclusive which is the issue here. We have invested heavily and cannot go anywhere we are struck unfortunately have to face them. One thing we can’t tolerate is harassment so we need to face them otherwise their behavior can only get worse in my opinion.

marauxsal

Thank you so much genuinely appreciate your guidance on this. We never had an issue with kids playing on the green the issue was escalated because he was stalking me and looking through our bedroom windows. It was creepy and hence stopped my club membership. At one point we thought of moving but unfortunately cannot afford to move out given the property price. The neighbors are not inclusive and racists end of story what more can be done. I have exhausted my options here by talking or explaining so need to make a formal complaint so I can’t take this anymore. Thanks again we will follow your guidance for sure

looksee

What's the story with the chocolates? Why are you doing this? If the neighbours are targeting you, buying the kids chocolates is not going to help and could be another bit of ammunition for them to use against you. It does sound a bit creepy to be honest, new neighbours move in, get annoyed with the status quo (not saying that is right or wrong) and are giving the children sweets?

Back off, ignore the kids, ignore the parents, stop the sweets and any other bribery, become private and uninteresting. Kids retrieving balls from front gardens may be a nuisance but a minor issue. If there is racism then you are right to complain about it, but even then the most practical solution would probably be to be quietly co-operative with local community activities - so people see you are just normal, reasonable people regardless of race or creed. It will take time but will usually work out in the end, though there are always some who are just ignorant and you will never bring them round.

marauxsal

Thank you take your advice onboard. You are right we will invest the effort in building community activities and creating good network 🙏

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066652#Comment_121066652

Stalking is a very strong word to use and stalking is a crime. Can you elaborate how this man is stalking you and the behaviour he has engaged towards you and your partner?

What do you mean by ' stopped paying my club membership?

marauxsal

Hi there,

Respectfully I can’t go into the details of the stalking issue and I am aware it is a serious complaint and hence the reason why I have carried out certain actions. Thank you for taking the time to add your valuable thoughts.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066652#Comment_121066652

You really need to stop interacting with these kids. I know you were trying to be nice, but by giving them chocolates, they're now aware of you. The end goal here is to be private and for them not to know you exist.

The louder you are with them, the more you try to tell them to stop kicking a ball into your garden, the more they'll annoy you.

If they kick a ball into your front garden and you immediately come out and start shouting or telling them to stop/chasing them away, they'll keep kicking a ball into your garden as they think you shouting at them is fun.

It's literally positive reinforcement, like training a dog. They do something, you do something in reaction which they enjoy, so they keep doing it.

So for now try the following:

If one of them kicks a ball into your garden, just let them get their ball back. Don't react.

If one of them is looking in your window, wave at them or close the blinds. They'll soon move on.

Ignore your way out of this. Escalation on your side will only escalate on their side.

What do you think a 'formal complaint' will do? The Gardaí aren't going to come and arrest a bunch of kids for kicking a ball around or looking in some windows.

marauxsal

Thank you and appreciate your advice. Just to clarify the complaint to Garda isn’t about the kids but the stalking and racism issue as we genuinely fear about our privacy and safety. We love kids and it’s the parents driving kids to act in this manner so I have no issues with the kids to be honest. Despite the terrible circumstances I cannot stop being nice to these kids by waving and greeting them. My interaction to date has been with their parents and we politely asked the kids to mind their balls when playing

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121067153#Comment_121067153

This is the best advice here.

I know people are telling you to report the racism- but really that won't achieve much. The guards can give people a talking to, but changing their fundamental attitudes takes years. And as you've seen, some people in this country will gas-light if you suggest it even exists.

marauxsal

Thank you the discussions in this forum has certainly given me food for thought truly appreciate your valuable insights

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121067223#Comment_121067223

If people are genuinely stalking you then that is a matter for the Gardaí and you need to make a note of every time it happens, the time and date, what happened etc. It's a very serious accusation.

However, you do need to make sure your definition of the word stalking and the Gardaí definition match up so that you are all on the same page.

For example, putting up a tent on a communal green area in an estate over the summer is not going to be viewed as stalking as the people who put the tent up would have a good reason to do so.

These people also live close to you, it is perfectly normal to have neighbours gaze in your window as they walk by. It can be annoying but it does happen.

On the flip side, if you generally feel threatened and these people are making threatening, harassing behavior to you then that's something that should be noted with the Gardaí alright.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, make sure any interactions you have with the Gardaí and words you use (Ie 'stalking') are proportionate to what is actually happening and you aren't opening an even bigger can of worms.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121066579#Comment_121066579

Why on earth would you do that?

I'm confused. You think chocolates will change their ways?

You need to look at your interactions with your neighbours.

I'm getting a feeling you're not as innocent as you're making yourself out to be.