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The Trad Wife Trend.

  • 19-06-2023 3:18am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭


    Where in the NAME of GAWD did this come from ? (i know its the far right)


    It's basically women who say its a woman's place to be in the home. That women shouldn't work. They should respect their husbands try to look nice for husbands rely on him for everything financially and take care of him and the kids.


    They also say women should be subserviant to their husbands always have sex even if they dont want to. Some even say women shouldn't have the right to divorce without their husbands consent. Some on twitter are saying rape within marriage isn't rape.


    5 yrs ago these were called gold diggers! Is this what men want now? Also where are all the 'Trad husbands'?



    Is this for real??


    Is this was conservative men really want now??


    I dont care what people want to do with their own lives but this tred is almost making women who work to be the bad guys. Also its like if you are a stay at home mother you are a better mother and you have to be a conservative. There seems to be this push to promote it as a better way of life to women even if they dont want it. And to tell men this is what they should want to.



    I dont get it ..it seems like a fairy tale it also seems like you would have to live on less money or the guy would have to have a really really good job these days. Plus what does she do when the kids are like 16 and dont need her?


    Also i know women's jobs take a hit from having kids and get put on the backburner etc. I am not naive. But most I know are doing something like even part time or plan to once kids are like 5/6 etc and a bit older. Also what if you split up? What if your husband loses his job? Or gets sick or dies? What if the husband feels its too much pressure?

    Why is the right all over this? Other beliefs include a woman may not divorce her husband nor refuse him sex and should do what he says.


    Please tell me men in Ireland are too sane to fall for this.


    What do you think?


    I wonder if conservative men realize how much harder they will have to work to support a family alone and that really housework these days with all our labour saving devices takes like 4 hrs tops ( i realize with little young kids that is not true and its a full time thing) and maybe just maybe they have flown too high and red pilled themselves into the sun!


    No I am not getting at women who choose to stay and home I want them to feel valued. But why is it now a right wing movement???


    Apologies for spelling and grammar or if this was the wrong forum my brain was built to clean the house and using a PC is tiring!

    Keep it funny.

    Post edited by ILoveYourVibes on


«1345

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,525 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    Its been around a few years i think. Creepy cult vibe, all the women dress like those in 1950s American advertisments.



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    So it's driven largely by women who want to have more traditional roles?

    Why it's happening I guess is probably due to stagnant wages, inflation, childcare costs, and a feeling that our workplaces don't care about us and fire us on a whim to please shareholders. It's been drilled into women for two decades that their true value is not being at home, but being out and earning money and being independent. But now the "antiwork" thing is saying we aren't valued, we aren't important, and we are replaceable.

    Men are doing it, too. Every guy I know in their 30s dreams of getting away to some rural simpler existence. I am browsing houses in rural Ireland with thoughts of getting back and settling down. My girlfriend is like this "trad wife" thing, though it's the first time I've heard of it. Her dreams of the future are kids, and a nice kitchen, and making bread, and sewing, and doing everything to have a nice home and nice family. I think it sounds nice and would love to be able to support it.

    Basically if I were you, I'd think about why this switch is happening instead of getting furious it's associated with the right. The left will obviously never support the idea of a woman staying at home.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Someone told me that it started just as like a fetish on OF??


    But now there are like hundreds of them on youtube midwestern american christian women preaching to other women why god wants you to be a traditional wife.


    I think they actually believe they are getting the sweet end of the bargain!



    The above comment just KILLS me. 🤣



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,185 ✭✭✭screamer


    Don’t be so critical of peoples choices, there are practicalities and difficulties with all things in life. For sure, when you’re out busting your ass and handing the bulk of your wages to your childminder or crèche and spending all day away from your kids and then having to turn around after a long day at work and start another days work of cooking, homework, kids activities, laundry, bath time and bedtime, you really wonder what the heck you’re at.

    it’s likely this is just women deciding to work in the home rather than outside of it, and for a lot of people that is actually a luxury these days. These particular “trend” people are just trying to package it up to garner attention and likes on social media I think.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,786 ✭✭✭DownByTheGarden


    The problem in Ireland is that it takes two halves of a couple working to buy a house now, even to rent a decent place. This has been in motion since the 90s and has been complete for a long time now.

    I, and many others long for the days when one wage is enough.

    People should be able to have one half of a couple stay at home if they want.

    In our case I would have been happy if it was either myself or my wife, but we both had to go out and work. This has led to resentment of the whole wage slave setup the world seems to be in now.

    So im not surprised that people want to be able to leave the work force if they feel like it.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    So you mean these trad men dont want to work really but want to subsist and drag a woman down with them. Got it. So they want a 1950s housewife but dont want to be 1950s men? This reminds me of a video made by a guy called beau of the fifth column who said that alt right men are not really that masculine and they know it that is why they are so insecure. I will try and find it. (found it)



    If i marry and a guy wants me to be a trad wife and do the housework etc im marrying a doctor who earns at least twice the industrial wage and im not signing a prenup and half his money is mine!.


    I am not saying I wouldn't marry the starving alt right hippie type who dreams of a rural simpler existence (i.ie not working) but if i do WILL BE WORKING and he is helping with half the chores! And if he isn't working he is doing all the chores!🤣


    Being masculine is easy ..being a 1950s husband ..is hard.



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 40,488 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    Is it really a trend, though? A few American youtube videos aren't much to base that on.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Subsist? The point is that childcare costs and the hit to lifestyle isn't seen as worth it to some couples, so some are choosing to have less money and one person doesn't have to work outside the home, instead focusing on the housework and stuff that needs to be done regardless.

    "And if he isn't working he is doing all the chores!" Haha you GO GIRL!

    "And if she isn't working she is doing all the chores!" Wow the 1800s wants their sexism back.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    An actual trend that is livable no.


    Its not possible in this economy. And this generation of men have no urge to be the sole financial provider. At least not in Ireland maybe in the states I dont know. In reality women end up doing BOTH.


    It does seem to be a political ideology this goes way beyond being financially dependant on a man. These women go on about how a husband can't rape his wife etc. We should take care of all our man's needs etc.



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    These videos aren't a "trend". You think they are because they're in your feed. I've never come across these videos.

    You're conflating a woman staying at home with these extremist videos, as if everyone who wants to stay at home must have watched the videos. And for some reason, you're attacking men as if they aren't capably of supporting a family anymore, not because of the economy, but because they just aren't capable of being a man like in the 1950s because that's too hard.

    1950s America was quite literally the peak of family existence. You could support your family, own a lakehouse, and have two cars, all on your high school diploma job.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Yeah people are so much better off with no jobs in this economy in his little hut of clay and wattles made in his parents garden! 😂

    Children can wander barefoot and wild!


    I mean it would be foolish for a man to get a fulltime job he would only be spending money on petrol. He can live off the land! And his grandad has an allotment! SORTED!


    ANd sure she can get a job ...when the kids go to school ... and work during school hrs once it doesn't interfere with her godly service! Just to pay for a few bits and pieces.


    And he shall take over the hard work....like picking blackberries off the side of the road.


    She doesn't need a pension. And she must sign a prenup because if you split the hut the roof will fall in!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    THis thread is great craic ..im dyin!


    🤣



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Not really ... I think you will find I am quite normal. I think you might be believing in fairytales.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,185 ✭✭✭screamer


    It is possible in this economy, it just depends on how much your income versus your outgoings is, factor in childcare and you’d be very surprised at how little extra families with 2 working are making over and above a single income family



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You are mocking the idea of a women staying at home with her kids because it means less money. It isn't a fairytale, it's just an option some people are choosing if a family can survive on one income.

    Normal? You are trying to ridicule the idea by talking about families surviving on blackberries.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    What is it we say you shouldn't have kids unless you can afford them?? Well you shouldn't have a stay at home wife unless you can afford one.


    Seriously right wing men are saying women should stay at home and serve them and you dont realize why i have an issue?


    Do i think men should have to be providers NO?? I am suggesting they let women be a financial partner!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    That is because he was suggesting these men are not going to have high wages but live off the land 'rurally' and work less.


    No one is attacking stay at home moms stay at home moms are NOT trad wives.


    In fact there are lots of videos OF stay at home moms saying why they are against 'trad wives '



  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It would be better to discuss the topic that refer to videos that no one here is going to waste time watching.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Maybe just dont post in the thread then if you dont want to waste time watching them K? :D


    This isn't such a serious thread anyway it for laughs. I said KEEP IT FUNNY :D



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Unless the guy has a REALLY good job ...yeah its a fairytale. Or else he has inherited a house or something.


    Also its not just women CHOOSING this ..its right wing men saying this is what is natural and the right way to live.


    Also its not ME attacking men who dont earn enough or want to be the sole provider



    its the right ! They are lambasting men who dont want to be sole providers.


    The whole ideology is by the way that no other man should be the boss of YOUR wife. (I know) Yes women can be bosses but he doesn't talk about that. But all the right wing male pundits are like dont let another man be the boss of your wife you are!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    This stay at home mom makes her husband PAY Her


    this is LITERALLY feminism!

    I love this.




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,504 ✭✭✭Deeec


    The 'trad wife' idea is appealing to many being honest (except being financially dependent on the the man bit). I would love to just only have to take care of the kids, cook, keep the house clean and not work. Working and rearing children is tough going - the housework, cooking, washing, organising still has to be done when you finish work. Childcare is a real juggle - it can be nightmare keeping everything functioning.

    I have 3 kids and work - my house would run 100% better if I didnt have to work. I also think my children would have a better life. The problem is that now 2 parents need to work in most houses. I only work because I need the money not because I want to. Most of my female friends have the same view. Working makes womens lives in alot of way more complicated.

    I do think that nowadays the housewife can be a househusband though - as long as one person can stay at home I feel family life would be better.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,424 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    There’s always been Schlafly types about. Even on here you get them banging on about how feminism has gone “too far” and that women have enough equality. Yes, some are accounts run by men pretending to be women but some aren’t.

    Again, it seems to stem from not liking “change” and where the world is going. Fighting to limit the choices, and personal freedoms, of others appears to be the end goal. ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ becomes less of a cautionary tale and more of a bible.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 40,488 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    I've no interest in watching these videos. It's sounds like you've envisioned a trend based on a few American cranks.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    But this isn't about being a stay at home mother. It's the trad wife. A wife who wears make up everyday ..isn't a feminist ...and is subserviant to her husband. A stay at home wife is a TOTALLY different thing.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Im so here for the handmaids tale era ... kinkay! 😏



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Why are you commenting in the thread then? Ok cool ... if you dont want to stay for bants ..have a lovely monday! 😉



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 40,488 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    I thought there might be a concept worth discussing. Instead, you've just dumped a load of nonsense that you probably didn't watch.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,470 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    The Trad wife thing is a bit more freaky though. There was one that went viral on twitter last week discussing a man who raped his wife. She was saying that it wasn't rape since they were married, it was only the one time and the woman was sinning by refusing her husband sex.

    I'm not saying that all trad wives are like that, but there's a definite chunk of them that are right wing evangelicals and believe that married women should be 100% subservient to their husbands.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 701 ✭✭✭Confused11811


    To each their own.

    I know a number of couples who once the had there first child basically one parent gave up working as it was less expensive than paying for child minding and the other cost associated with working, not to mention the stress. In some cases it was the man who gave up working. Nothing wrong with a stay at home parent situation. If people can afford it what's the problem?

    People can choose what lifestyle they want, they can choose to make lifestyle videos, post them and promote the lifestyle that works for them. Just like every other group.

    People are also free not to watch such shite videos or read such shite articles. If you're easily offended by others decisions and choices that don't affect you then stay off social media.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    I saw that. There were SOOO many people who said it wasn't rape. I am not against women choosing to be stay at home moms but to be subserviant to a man etc. Erm no ..i think that is dangerous.


    There are lot of them who say women shouldnt say no to sex with husbands etc. A lot of them justify this with the bible.


    Also the men promoting it say women shouldn't have the right to divorce a husband without his consent?? lol



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Again this isn't about stay at home mothers. Stay at home moms are not 'trad wives'


    This is about trad wives ..and the right saying that women should and must be trad wives and trying to stop women having access to rights like divorce etc and saying that domestic violence is ok along with saying women have to have sex with husbands etc.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Why would it be humorous/Funny? I stayed at home when my oldest was young and she benefited from it I can see the difference between her and her sister. I worked from when her sister was small it's a stressful existence, it's very difficult to run a modern house and family while working full time, expectations around tidiness, cleaning, nutrition, expectations that parents are psychologically present all the time, expectations around education and activities are huge on top of a full-time career.

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    But that isn't a trad wife though is it??? A stay at home mom doesn't OBEY her husband.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    That's why careers like teaching and nursing are popular with woman because you can appear to be home a lot while simultansioly working full time, that's a very stressful existence as well there is no down time.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,504 ✭✭✭Deeec


    I didnt bother looking at the videos being honest. I wouldnt be into always having to look good and please my man.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,084 ✭✭✭kevthegaff


    I do wonder is there a connection between two parents working and child obesity due to takeaway lunches etc



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Yeah but you would never consider yourself subserviant to your husband would you?



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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,620 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    This.

    Some women do want to be a traditional housewife, some want to work, some don't want to get married and have children, some women are gay or bi. Some men will want a traditional housewife, some would prefer their partner shared the financial load.

    I don't think the women who do want to work, not even the most ambitious career-focused women, will be chased out of their workplace with pitchforks.

    Stop watching shıte on social media and believing it's representative of society, a lot is deliberately designed to be notorious to get clicks and attention.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    But this isn't just about two parents working or stay at home moms.


    Trad wives are subserviant to their husbands literally... the men who are about it say women shouldn't be able to divorce without consent from the husband.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Yeah im going to say no ..


    the transformed wife is a well known 'trad wife'


    The trad wife trend is not about being a housewife.


    Nor is it about respecting women's choices they are actively trying to restrict women's ability to divorce.



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,620 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    That was posted in the OP and, like most posters, I didn't watch those videos.

    Marital rape is different from women staying at home, but you know that of course.

    If you see this trend taking off in Ireland by all means post the links to that, otherwise this is all just nonsense.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Staying at home is different from being a trad wife but you know that of course.


    There are Irish men proposing this ideology.



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,620 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Who are they, and is there any liklihood of them being taken seriously?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 679 ✭✭✭Esho


    Yes that comment is pure historical revisionism. I'd love to stay at home and parent, it's the most challenging and most rewarding work.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,672 ✭✭✭elefant


    The trad wife stuff is definitely a trend on social media. It's hard to tell if it's more influenced by maternal fetishism, or an idealisation of a mid-20th century America household dynamic and aesthetic.

    As far as I've seen, it's far less to do with women's rights or how a family chooses to organise their childminding/working commitments.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,211 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    But that isn't being a trad wife. Would you like to be subserviant to your husband ? That is what a trad wife is. Always have to put on make up and cater to his needs?

    Women never stopped being stay at home moms .


    Also its being used to bash other women who are not doing this ..


    This guy is benny jonson and is actually talking to 18 yr old girls in this audience. And bashing women who are not trad wives as being 'not valuable.




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