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Sex negative culture

  • 21-02-2023 7:21pm
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭

    Probably a bit too serious for AH but I'm curious as to why people are uncomfortable around discussing sex? Most people like it and have it frequently yet it makes many embarrassed. Why is that?

    My friend was saying how she was cringing at how her female colleagues were openly discussing their sex life in detail while out for a few drinks. She thought it was a bit disrespectful to their partners but I'm not sure if I see it that way.



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,813 ✭✭✭✭Loafing Oaf

    I'm curious as to why people are uncomfortable around discussing sex?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,447 ✭✭✭PommieBast

    Not everyone was lucky to have lost their virginity at 16 and have never been without it longer than 2 weeks since.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,878 ✭✭✭Glaceon

    This. Good old Catholic guilt has a big part in it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 330 ✭✭PaoloGotti

    Well, why would you want to talk about it?

    It’s a private matter. Would you want to tell them even if you were into BDSM or other fetishes?

    Among very close friends I can accept it. But work colleagues? No way.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,312 ✭✭✭YellowLead

    It seems your friend was the one uncomfortable but not her work colleagues, so I’m not sure it’s true to say that many people don’t? Maybe just some?

    I wouldn’t be discussing it with my mother/relatives or anybody I’m not comfortable with - but certainly have with both colleagues and friends.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭slither12

    Well that's subjective is it not? Certain cultures are far more open about sex than others. I can't help but feel our attitudes are shaped by Christianity even though most would not be religious in Ireland.

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,826 Mod ✭✭✭✭Raichu

    why do you want to talk about it openly? Most people shite regularly too but we don’t tell stories on the regular.

    If you feel the need to talk about your having sex that’s fine but don’t expect everyone to want to hear about it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,901 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    Have you never ventured into the etiquette thread? 😄

    To thine own self be true

  • Registered Users Posts: 18,241 ✭✭✭✭kippy

    Well, I suppose there's 'talking about sex' and 'respect for your partner (s)'.

    They are two different things. One can talk about sex while being respectful about your partner etc but there is obviously a line that some people rightfully have. There are certain levels of appropriateness and it's not all tied to religion.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,012 ✭✭✭Mister Vain

    Yeah it can be a bit uncomfortable in work. I remember working in a factory and hearing some crazy stories. Big fúckers with muscles and tattoos talking about the kinky shít they did at the weekend. And that was just the women.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 25,505 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble

    There's people who are talking about sex, and people who are actually having it themselves.

    Not much overlap between the two groups in my experience.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭JoChervil

    What happens between two people stays between them. I can't imagine discussing my sex life with someone else then my partner. My sexual partner is my closest person. I would feel I am betraying his trust in this way.

    I think people can only discuss one night stands or something completely unimportant.

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    Well you can be well sure that he'd be below in the pub trekking big man stories about what he does to you to his drinking mates

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,018 ✭✭✭Username here

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    The partners that they are so worried they're be disrespecting

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭kowloonkev

    Definitely this is a female thing. Men don't talk to other men about their sex lives with current known or long term partners. They might talk about one night stands they had with strangers without mentioning names.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,991 ✭✭✭JoChervil

    Who is so worried? Me? One might respect others and especially their own private life without worries...

  • Registered Users Posts: 401 ✭✭Hungry Burger

    To be honest, if my partner was telling all her friends and female members of her family about our sex life I’d be mortified and not very happy. That’s a horrible thing to do. I wouldn’t talk about anything like that to anyone as it’s a private matter.

  • Registered Users Posts: 650 ✭✭✭foxsake

    sex is a private thing , it's poor form for a man to discuss sex in detail . confirming the deed is acceptable anything further is inappropriate.

    if people wanted their sex antics known throughout the land they'd have sex in public

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,159 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious

    Everyone likes an auld shaggeen of a night

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭hoodie6029

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    It's private and personal for a lot of people. It's why we usually don't have sex on the streets.

    What's this "Catholic guilt" stuff about? A person is repressed by catholicism because they don't want to discuss a private and personal matter? No idea how that works. Particularly if they're not catholic! The people wanting to tell everyone about it seem like the ones who have the issue (and it absolutely is disrespectful to their partners). It's not dirty or sinful - it's just private.

  • Registered Users Posts: 23,243 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack

    It’s not subjective if you’re arguing that it’s a cultural phenomenon. I don’t know what culture you’re referring to unless you’re relying on stereotypes of other cultures and trying to compare that to Irish culture.

    When you admit you can’t help but feel something, that’s subjective, like your idea of a ‘sex negative’ culture is one where people don’t talk about sex. Your friend told you she sees it as disrespectful, you say you don’t see it that way - that’s subjective. Your question was answered, you don’t accept the answer, you still want to believe Christianity has anything to do with it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,991 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    I’ve no problem openly discussing my foursome orgies, three young men & my cougar self in full action. 😂

    ps -I’m being tongue in cheek so to speak

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,991 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,201 ✭✭✭AllForIt

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,826 Mod ✭✭✭✭Raichu


    Ridiclous thing to say it’s about religion, I’m as religious as the divil hur I wouldn’t go telling everyone what me and Mrs. Raichu be doing..

    like I said we all use the toilet near daily it doesn’t mean we all want to talk about it. Some do, for whatever reason, but if you don’t that’s completely fine and I don’t think you’re some weird religious shamed person over it. 😂

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,826 Mod ✭✭✭✭Raichu

  • Registered Users Posts: 14,711 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse

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  • Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭slither12

    I don't know how true this is but in my experience, those (women in particular) who partake in cannabis, lsd, magic mushrooms tend to have far less hangups about sexuality in general than others who don't. Two of the most sexually open people I've met was a woman in her 20s from California and a die hard stoner guy from Wicklow.