Sex negative culture

slither12

Probably a bit too serious for AH but I'm curious as to why people are uncomfortable around discussing sex? Most people like it and have it frequently yet it makes many embarrassed. Why is that?

My friend was saying how she was cringing at how her female colleagues were openly discussing their sex life in detail while out for a few drinks. She thought it was a bit disrespectful to their partners but I'm not sure if I see it that way.

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058285354/sex-negative-culture

I'm curious as to why people are uncomfortable around discussing sex?

...

PommieBast

Not everyone was lucky to have lost their virginity at 16 and have never been without it longer than 2 weeks since.

Glaceon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120271909#Comment_120271909

This. Good old Catholic guilt has a big part in it.

PaoloGotti

Well, why would you want to talk about it?

It’s a private matter. Would you want to tell them even if you were into BDSM or other fetishes?

Among very close friends I can accept it. But work colleagues? No way.

YellowLead

It seems your friend was the one uncomfortable but not her work colleagues, so I’m not sure it’s true to say that many people don’t? Maybe just some?

I wouldn’t be discussing it with my mother/relatives or anybody I’m not comfortable with - but certainly have with both colleagues and friends.

slither12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272122#Comment_120272122

Well that's subjective is it not? Certain cultures are far more open about sex than others. I can't help but feel our attitudes are shaped by Christianity even though most would not be religious in Ireland.

why do you want to talk about it openly? Most people shite regularly too but we don’t tell stories on the regular.

If you feel the need to talk about your having sex that’s fine but don’t expect everyone to want to hear about it.

Purple Mountain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272342#Comment_120272342

Have you never ventured into the etiquette thread? 😄

kippy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058285354/sex-negative-culture

Well, I suppose there's 'talking about sex' and 'respect for your partner (s)'.

They are two different things. One can talk about sex while being respectful about your partner etc but there is obviously a line that some people rightfully have. There are certain levels of appropriateness and it's not all tied to religion.

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272122#Comment_120272122

Yeah it can be a bit uncomfortable in work. I remember working in a factory and hearing some crazy stories. Big fúckers with muscles and tattoos talking about the kinky shít they did at the weekend. And that was just the women.

Mrs OBumble

There's people who are talking about sex, and people who are actually having it themselves.

Not much overlap between the two groups in my experience.

JoChervil

What happens between two people stays between them. I can't imagine discussing my sex life with someone else then my partner. My sexual partner is my closest person. I would feel I am betraying his trust in this way.

I think people can only discuss one night stands or something completely unimportant.

CreadanLady

Well you can be well sure that he'd be below in the pub trekking big man stories about what he does to you to his drinking mates

Username here

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120273374#Comment_120273374

Who is "he"?

CreadanLady

The partners that they are so worried they're be disrespecting

kowloonkev

Definitely this is a female thing. Men don't talk to other men about their sex lives with current known or long term partners. They might talk about one night stands they had with strangers without mentioning names.

JoChervil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120273470#Comment_120273470

Who is so worried? Me? One might respect others and especially their own private life without worries...

Hungry Burger

To be honest, if my partner was telling all her friends and female members of her family about our sex life I’d be mortified and not very happy. That’s a horrible thing to do. I wouldn’t talk about anything like that to anyone as it’s a private matter.

foxsake

sex is a private thing , it's poor form for a man to discuss sex in detail . confirming the deed is acceptable anything further is inappropriate.

if people wanted their sex antics known throughout the land they'd have sex in public

Ubbquittious

Everyone likes an auld shaggeen of a night

hoodie6029

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120273300#Comment_120273300

https://youtu.be/PWCUi4FngI4

’nudge, nudge’

It's private and personal for a lot of people. It's why we usually don't have sex on the streets.

What's this "Catholic guilt" stuff about? A person is repressed by catholicism because they don't want to discuss a private and personal matter? No idea how that works. Particularly if they're not catholic! The people wanting to tell everyone about it seem like the ones who have the issue (and it absolutely is disrespectful to their partners). It's not dirty or sinful - it's just private.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272312#Comment_120272312

It’s not subjective if you’re arguing that it’s a cultural phenomenon. I don’t know what culture you’re referring to unless you’re relying on stereotypes of other cultures and trying to compare that to Irish culture.

When you admit you can’t help but feel something, that’s subjective, like your idea of a ‘sex negative’ culture is one where people don’t talk about sex. Your friend told you she sees it as disrespectful, you say you don’t see it that way - that’s subjective. Your question was answered, you don’t accept the answer, you still want to believe Christianity has anything to do with it.

I’ve no problem openly discussing my foursome orgies, three young men & my cougar self in full action. 😂

ps -I’m being tongue in cheek so to speak

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120273795#Comment_120273795

Some do de dogging, I hear 😉

AllForIt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g

Let talk about it

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120274671#Comment_120274671

+100.

Ridiclous thing to say it’s about religion, I’m as religious as the divil hur I wouldn’t go telling everyone what me and Mrs. Brixton Ambitious Conductor be doing..

like I said we all use the toilet near daily it doesn’t mean we all want to talk about it. Some do, for whatever reason, but if you don’t that’s completely fine and I don’t think you’re some weird religious shamed person over it. 😂

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272355#Comment_120272355

Listen here you😂

Earthhorse

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120274822#Comment_120274822

Yes, but where are their tongues?

slither12

I don't know how true this is but in my experience, those (women in particular) who partake in cannabis, lsd, magic mushrooms tend to have far less hangups about sexuality in general than others who don't. Two of the most sexually open people I've met was a woman in her 20s from California and a die hard stoner guy from Wicklow.

What's a sexual hangup though?

To me it applies to those who think sex is dirty, morally wrong outside of procreation with a spouse or longterm partner. Someone who finds consenting sexual acts outside of just penis-vagina penetration to be disgusting. Someone who thinks casual sex just for physical fun is abhorrent.

Being private about one's sex life or not being into e.g. swinging though - those aren't hangups.

Not being an exhibitionist, not being extremely promiscuous - those aren't signs of hangups either.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120275466#Comment_120275466

There’s a dedicated thread for that 🤣

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276030#Comment_120276030

I’m learning a lot about “magic”mushrooms, very safe under the condition that you don’t have any predisposition to psychosis, that you don’t drive or operate machinery within at least 12 hours after consumption, and that you don’t consume when in an anxious mood. And of course you take the right non-lethal mushrooms!!!

Galwayguy35

A guy I work with is always talking about his sex life, he doesn't ever seem to cop that nobody has any interest in hearing it.

mdwexford

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120275466#Comment_120275466

Strange to keep comparing sex to having a poo.

eggy81

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272342#Comment_120272342

We chat about our shites in work on the reg

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276924#Comment_120276924

I think he's just comparing the personal and private nature - not the actual act. 😊

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276030#Comment_120276030

I’ve no doubt it’s true of your experience, but it doesn’t actually mean much outside of any particular context. It’d be like pointing out that the largest producers, distributors and consumers of porn are all situated in the Bible Belt in the US…

It kinda makes for a gaping hole in your theory about the relationship between sex and religion, but if that doesn’t blow your little cotton socks off, here’s a fun stat for you 😁

Southern States lead nation in consumption of gay porn -

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2015/03/26/southern-states-lead-nation-in-consumption-of-gay-porn/

johnfrank1967

Opening the second gate is the key.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120277526#Comment_120277526

So that both John and Frank can come and go as they please simultaneously?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276970#Comment_120276970

You are correct. 😂

although from what I have learned here that appears to be more common than I thought which is weird :’)

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276030#Comment_120276030

the bould Hildegarde must be a right goer so

https://www.rte.ie/news/politics/2023/0222/1358152-drugs-politics/

'chief whip' in every sense I'd say...

B.A._Baracus

Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle joke about Americans not wanting to say who they will vote for but then talk openly about actual private matters:

"So Bob who you gonna vote for?"

.... "Dave come on now, what's with all these personal questions?! So anyways there I was **** my wife up her ass, and I tell ya, it was something else" lol.

You don't tell people your business. Sex is a private matter.

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276220#Comment_120276220

What's a sexual hangup though?

Not familiar with the old autoerotic asphyxiation?

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272093#Comment_120272093

I don’t think so- when younger yes, many a sexual exploits conversations are had - both by males and females- but as you get older and maybe have a long term partner, talking about your sex life with strangers or work colleagues is simply disrespectful to your partner - it also shows a high level of emotional immaturity

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120279249#Comment_120279249

🤣 Hehe

Galwayguy35

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120278609#Comment_120278609

Doubt Naughton ever smoked any ganja

Potential-Monke

There's definitely a distinction between talking about sex and talking about your current sex life/partner. It's ok to just discuss sex. In fact, most likely due to my innate ability to go straight into the friendzone, most women were very open to sharing their sexual experiences and preferences with me. I used to get sex, and enjoyed talking about it. No harm to it. It also generates new ideas for one to try in otherwise stale relationships.

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120276924#Comment_120276924

Every release is a pleasure.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120272093#Comment_120272093

So… when you go abroad to places where Catholiscm isn’t a thing, people are sitting about at work and at dinner parties and in clubs casually discussing their sex lives? Really? By the way, it’s not a thing here any more either.

That’s why everyone is so happy here all the time, there’s no suicides, no anger violence murders or resentment and everyone is walking around smiling and loving one another all of the time. Haven’t you noticed?