Is alcohol an excuse?

BaywatchHQ

As an autist not even alcohol can make me normal. If I am drunk I just appear to be better at socialising but still a quiet socially awkward person. I never get to the stage when I am shouting like what normies do. I think when I first got drunk that is when I realised that I must be an autist as it proved to me that my issues weren't simply anxiety. If I just had social anxiety then alcohol would cure that and you would be normal. No, I am a very abnormal person right down to the core.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134866#Comment_120134866

Fair, and I understand that. I tried out the alcohol free stuff for a while but that's what made me believe we fool ourselves into thinking it's nice, because of the effects. Take that away and you're left with, imo, horrible liquids. Re: the cocktails, even I enjoyed them because you are effectively changing the taste enough to make it palatable, or in most cases completely over-riding the taste of alcohol. I've no doubt more people would be drinking them if they weren't so prohibitively expensive.

And yes, seeing just the negative side for long enough has changed me as a person, and because of my experiences I'm totally against people using alcohol as an excuse, because I've seen the hurt it causes when it's accepted as such. We're too soft on drink here because of our relationship with it, from simple public order to drink driving. And I've nothing against those who do use it as a social event and don't cause hassle or annoyance to others.

But yes, completely subjective. I still think most people fool themselves though.

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058280392/is-alcohol-an-excuse

nah... IMO it brings out the truth in people.. so yeah.. it defo reduces inhibitions...

But, I don't fully follow the 2nd half of our post.. mayb you could clarify?

Aglomerado

I love a few pints now and then but if I have too many I fall asleep. It relaxes me but since COVID I've been drinking a lot less. I lost interest in it and also found some alcohol free beers I like and I buy them most of the time. I'd probably get drunk by sniffing a beermat these day as I haven't been on a good session in over 3 years. I don't miss it.

I had a great friend for several years whose drinking got worse and worse and he would always get suddenly aggressive (verbally only) on a night out and start berating his wife or me. We had words with him about his behaviour when he was sober as did the rest of his family but to no avail, the next day it would be the same thing. He refused therapy or AA.

Eventually I had to sever contact with him just before COVID, I couldn't take it any more. It's sad to lose a friend but the person I became friends with was long gone. Still in touch with his wife who tells me he's not any better, and she has plans for her near future that no longer include him.

elperello

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120137280#Comment_120137280

And beer, wine and spirits are enjoyed by most people without drama.

slither12

How do people explain those who get shitfaced drunk and don't ever physically/verbally attack anyone?

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120148342#Comment_120148342

what ever emotion is really going on, deep down in a person, alcohol brings it out (as it lowers inhibitions).. prob other reasons too... its far from black and white

Potential-Monke

Let's legalise cannabis then, because the vast, vast majority of cannabis users enjoy it without any drama.

[Deleted User]

I think alcohol can be in keeping with who the person is. It's an opinion I have due to years of being around others who are drunk and also myself. The people in my life act absolutely as I would expect them too and that ranges from falling asleep, opening up, being aggressive, and destructive behaviour. None of it is a surprise to me.

The person who quickly dismisses their hardship or others only to then break down in tears after drink? Or the "they wouldn't hurt a fly" only to explode in a rage. Perhaps that is because deep down is the rage? Like the previous example deep down is the hurt?

I don't quite believe that drunken behaviour is so at odds and out of character for the person inebriated.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120148959#Comment_120148959

Agreeing fully with your post. After all people of course in society etc hide any negative or even aggressive feelings. From politeness or the need to be accepted popular That takes control and control is loosened by alcohol with many folk. Inhibitions crumble.

maninasia

It's not harmless to your body, but in the bigger scheme of things I agree.

I really wonder what Ireland would be like without alcohol. I kind of get a glimpse of it with 20 somethings who are getting more health conscious and into fitness.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120149196#Comment_120149196

Now that is quite a thought! Ireland fully sober ... WOW.. Think of the effect on our beleaguered Health Service alone? General and specialised health care would be massively improved; waiting lists decimated Painful illnesses alleviated...

Potential-Monke

Yeah, but we all know miracles don't happen. In fact, and mostly due to 2 years of lockdown, more people are drinking again. Problem with that is, even more people are using it to cope...

Count Dracula

In vino Veritas.

It depletes inhibitions dramatically.

It brings out the person you are and exposes you to everyone.

We should all try it more often.

recode the site

I once witnessed an alcoholic (didn’t realise they were fully so at the time) who got jealously vexed at me over an inaccurately perceived situation, just went silly altogether in such a way as it’s hard to forget. Claimed to have no memory months/year later, yet next morning made comments such that there was some form of memory.

recode the site

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120153798#Comment_120153798

I’m not so sure about anyone having a “true nature” but I would accept the “default nature” being a person without influence of substances. That can be variable depending on mood, and some people are far more mousy than others. I just think it’s an extremely complex multidimensional area that’s just being uncovered.

Count Dracula

Blackouts are terrifying.

Your real person is on full display, you don't even know who that is?

Be careful, when the hiccups start it is time to leave.

The DayDream

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120148342#Comment_120148342

They may not attack anyone but I can guarantee you no person who regularly gets shitfaced drunk just gets away with doing it all the time without causing any harm to themselves or those close to them. They may think it's a good idea to dance on the table and fall and break a bone, they may miss work, lose important possessions etc. I've known plenty people who didn't become aggressive necessarily but their family, partners etc were worried every time they went out until they landed home because of the way they carried on. And in many cases they did actually get pretty cantankerous when confronted about their alcohol abuse but it was behind closed doors so no one would necessarily see it.

I have to say I really envy the people in this thread who are mystified by the way some people react to alcohol because it doesn't affect them the same way at all. Count yourselves lucky. Most people at least have one relative with drink issues but not all I suppose. At the same time it's frustrating at times because such people can sometimes seem to look down on others who can't just drink normally. But they just don't understand it. Whereas I can't under how someone stops after a few drinks. When I try to do it, it is either a) absolute torture and makes drinking kinda pointless or b) and this is by far the most common result: I'm completely unsuccessful and end up, for example, still in the pub at closing time with the loaf of bread and litre of milk I bought in town at 4 pm, minutes before the thought of 'just having one or two' even entered me head.

The DayDream

Normal people don't even have to really think about limiting their intake, they just do it naturally. When you start having to think about it then you probably have an issue. And if, like me, you don't get in trouble every time you drink but every time you do get in trouble drink was a factor, that's when you know it's time to quit.

To answer the OP, No, I don't think it excuses bad behavior but it explains it and there should be more understanding of the fact some of us are born different and care taken to educate those of us with alcoholic parents, grandparents, etc.. It's been proven to have a genetic link and it should be talked about more so kids growing up are aware of it if they are in danger of inheriting it - no one mentioned it to me even tho it literally killed my father. We can't prevent it all but we can at least be honest about the dangers before young people go out and do stupid and harmful things. Tell them it's not all fun and games.

Those of us who it does cause to act a fool should definitely change it but people should also realize that it's not easy to do and often takes not just one, but a string of disasters before we really sort it out because every day alcohol is there and all it takes is one weak moment and bang - you're back where you were. Waking up with dread, sore head, a broken phone or maybe a broken bone, and very little memory of what the hell happened at all.

The DayDream

For those of us like that, trust me it is as totally bewildering to us as it is to the bystanders who see and judge us. It's like once we take drink we become like a puppet and some mysterious being (that has nothing but bad intentions for us and those around us) is pulling the strings. I never physically attacked anyone but I've been in situations where me and another similarly drunk lad would be rowing and be close to physical fighting. And I would never fight sober I would walk away from anyone bothering me normally. There's certain people in my town I know have a low opinion of me from seeing me staggering round the place stocious in the past or being put out of pubs for being verbally obnoxious to bar staff who cut me off or cuz I fell asleep. And it's not easy to live with that. I'm ashamed of the way I was, but I can only control today and tomorrow now. And all it proves is they really don't understand the sickness, because if they did they might have a bit more compassion or at least would know how hard it is to turn things around and respect the fact a man has done that.

But you'd be surprised how few people will notice that and say anything good compared to how many can't wait to talk about how you were being a bollocks when you were in a state.

Some people think it's as easy as, 'If drink didn't suit me, I would simply switch to cokes for the rest of my days and live happily ever after.'

well, rehab centres, 12 step programs, addiction counselors etc wouldn't exist all over the world if it was easy.

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120158996#Comment_120158996

Even though It's the alcohol that's caused the situation it's hard to empathise with a drunk who's causing fights and shouting horrible insults at people

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120139270#Comment_120139270

It is still a dangerous drug like many others. Your point does not negate that;quite the opposite as it ignores that reality

yourdeadwright

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120131759#Comment_120131759

i agree with everything you said above

You thing you said which some said to me recently was the coke thing (not my thing at all) ,

I went over Christmas for a few beers during the day with young lads id have played , & one in particular was on the bag & i said to ham i didn't think you where interested in that stuff , His reply was only when I'm on the drink all day because it keeps me sober & not messy,

Is that a think now ? do you eve hear of lads dying from doing coke on a day out or is that just scar mongering ,is the real problem addiction ?

My thought was why drink all day then, not only is both bad for your health but your wasting hard earned money doing both ,

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120159542#Comment_120159542

It's only dangerous if you drink too much, alcohol in moderation is perfectly fine, the issue only occurs if you overdo it

Sleepy

It's not an excuse, but it can be a legal defence.

I'm aware of a senior counsel who keeps a half bottle of whiskey in his glovebox in case he's ever involved in a fatal road-traffic accident as he maintains being drunk "during" the incident and signing up for AA before the trial is a virtual guarantee of less prison time than you'd see for being responsible for the same accident while sober.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120148959#Comment_120148959

Exactly. And of course. Alcohol reduces or destroys will power and it is will power that we use to stop us being openly aggressive and destructive. As they say people act true when drunk... to their worst moods. A two edged sword

Girl Geraldine

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120153839#Comment_120153839

All three sound alike an absolute pain in the arse on a night out. Falling asleep is as bad.

Girl Geraldine

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120159009#Comment_120159009

Do you want a medal and a biscuit for being able to hold it together and refrain from being an obnoxious, dangerous nuisance? I don't think it deserves any praise to be honest. Being respectful and keeping your behaviour decent and not being a bollox is the way one ought to be. It isn't some beyond enlightened state that deserves a nobel prize.

People who cannot handle alcohol are seriously flawed with defective personalities.

Jigsaw

Some people really are massive assholes when they’ve had a feed of drink but think the drink merely amplifies the assholeness in them. There is an asshole in there at all times just waiting to be amplified.