How to cope with coming home to rural Ireland for Christmas?

Lurth

First of all this is not a knock on rural Ireland. It's great that many of you live there and enjoy it. Nor is it a knock on my family's company. It's about dealing with an isolated location.

Basically I headed abroad to college and now live in a large city. Have my own friends and life there. My parents live back in Ireland, in a house in the middle of nowhere in the mid-west, where you have to drive everywhere.

It's great to see family but being back at Christmas is seriously depressing after a couple of days. It's so isolated and I know nobody back here now.

Maybe my fault for not keeping in touch, but that's the way it went when you lived long distances away from people. The rural location was part of my decision to move abroad in the first place.

Does anyone else feel the same way, or have any ideas about how to make coming back more fun?

bad2thebone

I loved the city life up until my late 20s, then I got tired of the urban sprawl. People started to get married, attached little by little I was on my own. I had friends but they drifted. Been to all their weddings etc

I was never one for settling down, a lone wolf who liked meeting people on my own volition. Liked going to places that were classy, nice ambiance etc expensive threads, vip lounge's etc Friends in high places and all that jazz. But while they settled down I carried on regardless until I realized where am I going. Ended up on my own. Decided to slink into a rural location and give up the party high life and settled for a house in the country. Moved to the Burren in Clare myself. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to be in the wilds in boots, warm garments and dog's. Love chopping wood and stacking it. Growing vegetables, fishing and surfing and hiking. Walking dog's and bushcraft. Building a fort at the moment in a valley. All I have is a looppers and silky saw and a small shovel. It's enjoyable.

When I go to Galway Dublin Cork or Limerick I always get that euphoric recall. Next thing I'm in Brown Thomas buying aftershave, shade's and rummaging through the stock of Belstaff trailmaster and Barbour jacket s. Next thing I'm driving home a few hours later with the back seat loaded up. I also end up buying fishing gear and maybe some surf gear like booties or swimsocks, a few buff hat's from the outdoors store and a Stanley flask or a headlamp or something.

All dressed up and nowhere to go. Although I like my clothes.

Embrace your soundings, catch up with old friends.

Tonight should be good in rural pub's if the Wren boys and girls are about.

If you're near Lahinch it should be hopping this evening and Egan's in Liscannor.

freshpopcorn

What age are you?

Lurth

I'm 31.

I bet it would be nice living in a rural area near the coast where you could go surfing and hike up a mountain. Sadly, my parents live inland, many miles away from the sea or mountains.

It's actually not the easiest to walk places as there are no trails - just private fields and roads with no footpaths. The only thing I can think of is renting a car and driving around to scenic spots, which is a bit of a pain to do.

spakman

Ah grow up ffs. Can you not manage to spend a few days at Christmas with your parents without whinging about how bored you are.

Lurth

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035686#Comment_120035686

Not about parents. It's about the location

Calahonda52

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035686#Comment_120035686

As above:

Re this

Sadly, my parents live inland, many miles away from the sea or mountains.

Sadly....FFS get a grip and acknowledge your parents for who they are and the contribution they have been to you thus far.

breezy1985

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035711#Comment_120035711

Inland could be Tipperary though. Can't blame a lad for being depressed about that 🤣.

Lurth

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035711#Comment_120035711

Thanks for white knighting for my parents.

It's not about parents or family, it's about hearing about how other people deal with returning to an extremely isolated location

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035686#Comment_120035686

Exactly!!

OP just enjoy the few days you have with your parents. You won't always have them to visit you know and then you will regret the time you didn't spend with them.

Do your parents not have a car you could use.

You'll be back to city life soon enough - relax and enjoy the peacefulness of the countryside.

PowerToWait

Some bang of smug returned emigrant. Probably insufferable non stop chat about how fantastic life is where he lives.

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035686#Comment_120035686

Spot on, can't settle for a few days with the family without longing for the comforts of overcrowded public transport and their shìtty box apartments whinging because they have to drive 15 minutes to go shopping while all the while enlightening anyone that'll listen about how great Sydney/London/Ontario is. Every clown that ever went away comes back with the same old spiel every year

Larbre34

Each to their own, but as an urban dweller, I enjoy rural Christmases.

Fresh air and open spaces to go walking, big turf fires, a certain latitude for a bit of late night drink-driving to the nearest lock in

Lurth

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035822#Comment_120035822

"enlightening anyone that'll listen about how great Sydney/London/Ontario is. Every clown that ever went away comes back with the same old spiel every year"

Yeah there's a reason for that. It's because Ireland has this mad trend stretching back decades for having a sh1t ton of houses dotted randomly around the countryside.

Partly the reason why loads of small local towns and villages are dead/dying. Transport is brutal as well.

pgj2015

Why didnt you stay in contact with your old friends? not cool enough for you?

ax530

With weather hard to do much walking ect.

Next year stay few days less and get lots books for presents.

The days you at 'home' read eat & rest ready to go back city life again.

Anyone you know who could come and visit ?

Lurth

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035904#Comment_120035904

😂 fecker

Closest I lived to a school friend was 8 miles, as my school was ages away. It was tough to meet up during summer months when school was done, and when I'd come home

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035925#Comment_120035925

😂

would ye not have had a local town ye all went drinking in?

I would just have the attitude of it is what it is when you are back home for a few days. it cant be that bad, A Ukrainian refugee I know, her husband who had a corporate job in Ukraine, is a soldier since February, not what he really wants to be doing but he is sucking it up, sometime you just have to get on with things.

SmallTeapot

..

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035871#Comment_120035871

They're dying with 70 years since people like yourself first started getting the boat to England, the reality is a lot of towns are thriving but that wouldn't suit the narrative put forward by the likes of yourself in bondi when telling everyone that'll listen what a dump Ireland is and how you can't get a bus from outside your mammys door to the local spar

Lurth

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035949#Comment_120035949

Yeah, used to meet up and do this back a few years before Covid tbf, but a lot of people moved away or had families. I know a couple of lads who never come home anymore. Same goes for cousins. I'd feel bad if I did that.

Loads of people here will be "oh suck it up you tosser" but it sucks. Loads of pubs we used to go to have shut as well.

Wossack

Buy a Nintendo switch

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035993#Comment_120035993

Its funny the way you say some people had families, like they died 😂 which in some cases they probably may as well have as they become so dry they cant even met an old friend for a pint. would you not just chill with the family, play board games, listen to music, watch films, have a few drinks etc?

KaneToad

Sounds like someone who can't be with themselves and needs constant distraction.

Ten of Swords

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035686#Comment_120035686

Needlessly aggressive, don't be that guy 🙄

bucketybuck

How useless must you be if help is needed to "cope" with a few days in isolation?

Depressed after a couple of days? God help you if something ever happened that really required mental fortitude.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120035668#Comment_120035668

Sadly, my parents live inland, many miles away from the sea or mountains.

How many times during the last 7 days before you went home did you go swimming in the sea or hiking up the mountains in your "big city"?

gormdubhgorm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120036084#Comment_120036084

Sounds like that to me as well some people just can’t sit still in their own company. And get edgy.

The complete opposite to fella like Tommy Tiernan. That fella would only be too delighted to stand in a field stare at the stars, and howl at the moon.

The OP just needs to learn relax switch off and appreciate the quieter/mundane things in life.

Even the OP watching his parents interact with each other. The nods from the auld lad if he wants a mug of tae etc. Or the phrases his mother uses. Or them chatting about the old days or himself/herself down the road.

They won’t be around forever just take it all in. Because it is the simple mundane things that make a family.

Just observe the surroundings a bit more. And you might get a new appreciation of it. It is not as if the OP is ‘trapped’ and forced to stay in ‘isolation’. Embrace the temporary change and don’t fear it.

I understand the frustration OP.

It's hard to maintain friendships remotely. It sounds like you've been gone since you turned 18.

The friends that might still be around have their own groups or families.

I was away for a while, when I came back I lasted about two weeks at home with my parents in the country before i went looking for somewhere to live in town.

I've moved out again as my priorities changed. I wasn't able to meet a friend that is back recently because, unkind as it sounds, I have other priorities, family mainly, and don't have the same time to go into town socialising.

Practically, what did you do to pass time when you were living there? Do that again.

BaywatchHQ

When I lived in a city I was isolated anyway due to being autist incel loner so i was used to it when I moved back. If anything it was less isolating as my family were here whereas in the city I was isolated for weeks on end.

NSAman

Sheez. Christmas is about family. I miss my dad, I am soo happy my mother is still here. I love having my siblings with me. Coming home is one of the highlights of the year for myself and herself.

The fact I can switch off from a crazy life. The fact I get to walk safely, be in an isolated place without freezing my ass off.

you came home for what reason? Remember your parents only get a few chances to be with you before they aren’t there. Savour that!