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A very lost recent graduate in need of advice

  • 02-10-2022 10:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    At a count I have attempted to write this post 6 times.

    I'm at an utter loss, I have spoken to trained professionals, friends and family alike, but to no avail, which makes me wonder what even is the point in posting here, but I will nonetheless.

    One thing to note, or disregard -and I'm not self diagnosing, I'm just suggesting I might have undiagnosed ADHD, have been trying to get it seen to, it's hard done and costly.

    At 25 I am a recent college graduate with a 2.2 in a Bachelors of Business level 8, I live with my parents, I have nothing going in the way of a love life (which is a topic for another post), I have little going in the way of legitimate hobbies (beyond DoneDeal window shopping and pricking about on the guitar). I hated college, worst years of my life, still can't believed I passed any never-mind all of my exams, I don't think this piece of paper has or will make up for the hardship I endured getting it.

    Beyond moving out of my childhood bedroom in rural Ireland - there is nothing I want to do.

    After graduating I started into my 'career', I worked an inside sales job for a well known company.

    Hated it, I hated it. Couldn't stand it! I have lovely coworkers, a wonderful boss and I just could not stand sitting at a desk, didn't like Sales either but hated being confined to a desk more than anything. So I hastily left it to start up an electrician apprenticeship.

    Thought that was the one - out of the office, working with your hands, less in the way of office politics, more in the way of gratifying work and satisfaction. Again, I have great coworkers, guys I have very little in common with, but good guys all the same - and I'm miserable at it.. I can't put my finger on it beyond - I don't know which I hate more, I just equally hate working construction as much as I hated sitting at a desk all day. I'm sick of being out in the rain, cutting my hands and fingers, getting concrete dust in my eye, insulation on my arms, dripping sweat or freezing cold, I've now developed a chest infection to boot.

    I don't know what else to do - but I know I wont' be seeing this through.

    Awhile back I worked in a factory, it was so easy. I thought if I went back after that summer I'd get complacent and never leave, but there's little in the way of progression there for me.

    I worked in a supermarket for 3 years whilst at college, 2 of which were during Covid. Terrible pay, hours, benefits, and management, but the coworkers and friends I made along the way made it worthwhile, they are still some of my closest friends. I'm considering retail management, but there are obvious downsides.

    I can't afford to go back to college for 4 years, worse than that - there's nothing I'd even want to do! Nothing I'd go back to - irrespective of money, time or government contribution.

    If I'm ruling out: Desk jobs, sales rep jobs, healthcare, guards, prison service, civil service, construction/construction related trades - what are my options?

    I love cars but don't want to become a mechanic. Don't fancy journalism.. I loved English/writing in school, but wouldn't like to be a journalist, unless it was in an Anthony Bourdain way which can't exactly be done.

    I've always had it in my head that I'd like to start my own business, but that's not really in play just yet.

    I also get the notion every now and then that I'd like to work in a kitchen, just to experience it. My mother trained as a chef and has talked me out of it at every stage. (My home ec teacher thought I showed promise for what it's worth!) I just think I'd like that fast paced environment, I rarely do anything without a gun to my head, I love that level of commitment, aim of perfection, the creativity and the effort that goes into an art form... I have a real interest in fine dining and a level of admiration for those who pursue a career in it.. I'd probably end up wishing for an office job, but every now and then I get the idea in my head, I know about the pay, the hours and the stress..

    The worst thing about dropping this apprenticeship is I've already told people, ex coworkers who worked in my office job, who were also old classmates, to friends and family - I was so looking forward to it.. Now I'm debating even going to that stupid graduation, so I can avoid those questions.. I don't really want to go, I'd rather just experience a nice meal...

    My friend mentioned barbering and hairdressing, the latter seems more interesting to me, I don't know why.

    But that's where the stream runs dry, my ideas run short and my internal angst continues - I don't know what to do, and I hate it.

    I'm debating paying a career guidance counsellor, but I don't know how much that'll help.. I'd probably just convince myself of whatever they say for a week or so and drop it soon after.

    So where does that leave me? Excluding the obvious answer of 'as a loser who can't seem to hold a job, failed his way to a graduation ceremony with no clue of where to go next'...



Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 662 ✭✭✭Escapees


    3 points:

    - Don't be afraid to go for what you want

    - It's ok to change your mind

    - You'll learn from your mistakes


    You're young. If I could go back in time, I'd try as many things as I could at your age to get a real feel for what type of work made me happy. Anyone who looks down on this is often just jealous that you're going against the grain and societal expectations etc.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,908 ✭✭✭Alkers


    I'd tackle the hobbies side of things first if I were you.

    The somewhat sad thing is that for most people, their job/career is a means to an end, an enabler to allow them do what other things they want to do in life - start a family, travel, buy fancy cars/guitars etc etc

    Not many people find their true calling in life, and for those that do it's not always something they can make a career of.

    You need to find out what makes you tick as a person, it could be anything from hillwalking to poetry - you won't know till you try it. Imagine you found a passion and then even better if it was something you can make a living from!

    For many this doesn't happen and you find a job or career that you can tolerate or are even happy at but I don't think you should focus on this side of things until you find what you WANT to do, other than working to make money.

    You're still young and fit, I suggest you finish the electrician apprenticeship - it will stand to you, it's a career you can easily dip into and out of as you age and you can probably work in other countries without too much hassle also so will offer you good flexibility in the future. You moan about building sites but there are domestic electricians, data centre specialists, automotive electricians etc etc so it's not like you will always have to be based on a construction site.

    Good luck



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    if you are waiting for someone to come in with a hail-mary ideal map for your ideal direction in life, you'll be waiting.


    id strongly advise you to focus a little more on investigating/improving your ability to stick at things that you aren't necessarily in love with until you find something better because you are writing off literally thousands of options/jobs there and I'd safely say 99% of them are better than being stuck in your childhood bedroom listing all the things you don't like about them.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    Thank you.

    Yeah no I do agree, but it is a reality of most people, I mean maybe if your hobby was your job you wouldn't enjoy it all as much?

    The thing is I am constantly taking up, or attempting to take up new hobbies, much to my financial demise.

    I got into cycling - used it a handful of times, it sits in the shed. Thought I'd get a smart trainer, use that inside - sold it a week later for a loss.

    Bought a project car, found out I love cars, don't particularly like working on old rusty ones - actually sold it for a profit.

    Got into running, for awhile.

    Swimming, for a month.

    I spend my day watching youtube videos on cars, or the odd movie.

    I might learn a new song on the guitar, I sing a little too. I posted covers for awhile.

    The idea of silversmithing sounds fun - but it's prohibitively expensive and not really feasible at the minute, certainly not on apprentice wages.

    Onto that matter - well intentioned advice.

    But I'm 2 weeks in, and I'm hating it, I won't be seeing it out for 4+ years just because it'll stand to me.

    I could get over the €6.86 an hour, struggling to run my car, not being able to contribute to the household (grateful to my parents for that one), if I didn't already dread Monday so much on a Friday afternoon.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    I'm not waiting, but good point.. I'm just looking for some guidance I guess, even just a stupid suggestion.

    From those who I've spoke to, professionals, friends, family, people with ADHD and what not - it's common in people with adhd.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    yes im not having a dig, genuinely follow that up. it could be a root cause or it could at least be discounted.

    but without finding at least some minimum level of ability to stick with things that you dont enjoy from moment-to-moment you are chasing dreams, and there's nothing wrong with chasing dreams but:

    - very very few dreams come true without serious hard work and compromises and lucky breaks


    - using "its not the dream" as an excuse not to put in the required level of effort into your next best shot is a toxic behaviour in the short but particularly the long term


    - "dream job/partner/whatever" is often a chase to perfection that leaves people putting all their dissastisfied eggs in one dissatisfied basket. life isn't at all like this and a large part of maturity is in realising that you're starting from where you are with what you've got and your available next steps are far likelier to be small and boring than they are to be dramatic and thrilling



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 84 ✭✭Vinnymcdonnell


    You start an apprenticeship and straight away you don’t like it…………… you do realise everyone starts at the bottom and have to work their way up. Electrician can move into the better position once your qualified the likes of data centres or pharma will be open then which are much nicer industries to be in. Also your rate goes up as the years go, when your qualified the rate will be very good


    What you are qualified in is the exact same, you need some sort of experience before the jobs you like will open up.

    It reads as if you just have no patience and expect to have great pay and the great position straight away. I’m afraid this is not reality at all



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    Oh no I appreciate that I know it's coming from a good place.

    The weird thing is I worked in a much easier, better paying warehouse job before the supermarket, was on €3.50 extra an hour, set 9-5 hours, flexi time and I hated it! I had no friends, nothing to do and yet I had to look busy (I found that out the hard way). But I far and above preferred the retail job that everyone complained about, and we turned over the total staff count in less than 1.5 years of me working there (same people, just the rate of change from those that did change) - I was still happy out. I was busy, I was on my feet, I had stuff to do, I had friends, I had a purpose, even if it was just to stock the shelves quick enough to give myself time to break out the floor cleaner.

    I don't think I'm chasing perfection per-say, I think I just have a low tolerance for what I hate..

    I hate this apprentice, and I honestly find it hard to explain why.. There's obvious things I don't like which I know won't last, and I don't hate it for those reasons like: I don't know what I'm doing, I keep making mistakes, I'm tired all the time - those are all new person complaints... But beyond that I have such little interest in what I'm doing, I don't like dirty work, I don't like that I'm going into a room stinking to the high heavens of toxic floor epoxy fumes. Or musty old bingo halls.

    I don't like the work electricians actually do - that's the problem.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    I understand the practicalities of being an apprentice, I understand the opportunities from being an electrician - I actually did some research before making the jump.

    I'm quite fine being on €6.86 an hour, being so thankful that I've already paid my insurance because if I hadn't before starting I don't think I'd be able to afford it.

    I'm not expecting to be on €24+ an hour starting out, or wiring up boards.

    What I'm saying is - I don't like the work, the work of an apprentice and that of a qualified electrician, whom I'm working side by side with (with the exception of boards).

    I made a mistake starting into this, I don't regret leaving the office, but I regret starting this and more so telling people I was doing it..

    I wouldn't have been shouting it from the roof top if I had any slight inclination that I'd want to drop tools after 2 weeks, but I do, and I'm willing to go through that embarrassment to not have to do this for a living.

    I think there's a hang up on the apprenticeship (which I won't be finishing out) on this thread. I've noticed, the internet has an undoubtable hard on for the trades. My friends do too, software developers on €60k+ a year at 25 longing to work with their hands and 'do meaningful work', but the reality is it's grim, hard, physical work that most people aren't cut for, I'm saying that as one of those people.

    If I can lay it out - the reality is, I don't see myself sitting behind a desk for a living, nor do I see myself living it up on a building site - so I'm asking, for any stupid suggestion as for what else to consider..

    I worked a **** factory job straight after school, 6am start loading hot, shrink-wrapped bundles of cream cartons (for bakery's so 3 litres, 3Lx6 cartons) onto pallets as they flew off the production line. I did that for the whole summer, expecting nothing other than to get paid for it.

    I've spent 3 years working in what is known for being the lowest rung of retail, and was content doing it. I don't expect anything other than to not hate 50% of what I do for a living... Even hating 40% sounds alright at this stage. I know in the shop I hated the painful customers, cleaning up childs sick which happened far too often and was far too 'Referesher' coloured, I hated working till 10 o clock on a Saturday whilst my friends were in the pub, minimum wage, paying full whack for every lunch. But I loved the people I worked with, I loved facing off the shelves and taking pride in my work, I loved helping people when they weren't horrific pieces of sh*t, I liked that I had a job and I got paid in-spite of all the other ****, I also liked that I was good at it.

    Maybe I'm just terrible at writing, which I'm not going to debate but I think you're not reading into it enough.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Pissy Missy


    Being in your 20s and with the current Irish climate the way it is, would you consider travelling abroad to work in the US, Canada or Australia? Would be a great experience



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    Yep, I've thought about it continuously, I think I will eventually but my mother raises a genuine point - it'd be better to go if/when you have something to do when you come back.

    I think I'd go to Canada, I don't know why but I've always had that notion in my head, never even visited the place.

    Vancouver seems like the popular choice, but it's prohibitively expensive.

    The American working visa thingy is interesting, but if they really clamp down on you doing something related to your degree - I'm screwed..

    Australia doesn't really appeal, I don't know why. My brother is going soon enough, and god forbid I be seen to be copying him!

    But I'd go.. I just don't know what I'd go at.. I'd also be going alone, which others seem to find weird



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Pissy Missy


    A friend of mine went to Canada with no prior banking experience and got a job in that, might not be your dream job but good experience while you try enjoy the place perhaps. I only did a student visa (j1) in the US so worked at random jobs so not sure if it would be different when applying for a working visa. 😂Don't let family deter you, fek em. I know it's not ideal but there's always the opportunity to make friends along the way. Stop, I would so go alone, I only have about 2 months to decide before the max age cut off point but I have a loan to pay off so might have to prioritise that🙄



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,201 ✭✭✭troyzer


    Honestly?

    Sounds like a couple of years in Canada or Australia would do a world of good for you. It did for me.

    Australia has the weather, salaries are better and the cost of living is nowhere near as high. Especially if you head out West, which is also the boomiest part of the Australian economy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,253 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    OP here's the thing, you don't have to work at something you absolutely love. Most people don't. They work at something that they're ok with & then find hobbies etc that they love & focus on those for the enjoyment part.

    I'm lucky in that I do love my job but it has been a long road since I graduated college to get to a job & company I love. I graduated college 12 years ago. You seem to be ruling out a lot based on a very limited experience of those areas. Not all desk jobs are created equal. I do one but it's not sales, I get out & about too as part of it & no 2 days are really the exact same.

    Likewise not all retail options are equal. Considering though that you mention you don't want to work at a desk but also don't want to be working outside but you must have had an interest in being an electrician before going for the the apprentice, would you consider working in a retail environment relating to that? Builders merchant or electrician's merchant? You need a certain level of knowledge, retail experience (which you have), you're working a mix of indoor & a yard & most places offer training to move up the ladder if you want.

    When you talk about hobbies it almost sounds like you're love-bombing the hobby. You buy everything needed for it upfront but then lose interest. Best thing if you're looking at a new hobby is to maybe buy a small bit of just the necessary kit first off & then assess if you do enjoy it. That way you haven't over invested time or money if you think you don't want to pursue it.

    Look you're 25 - you do not have to have it all figured out yet at all. I know a few people at that age who worked a random job (not a career) just to get some money together & then went travelling for a bit, figured themselves out. Came back with a better idea of who they were. Work & a career does not have to define who you are.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 309 ✭✭89897


    I mean this in no ways a put down more am observation, You're incredibly negative and its holding you back. At 20 something you should be out living life and exploring with much more of a carefree attitude. You hated ever job, you're only 2 weeks into an apprentice and have already decided you hate it, all you travel plans have downsides, too expensive, clamp down, wont follow your brother etc.

    Get out of your comfort zone, throw caution to the wind and pick something and try it. Even when you speak of your hobbies, you have researched and invested to the death before they even start and thats taking the fun away.

    You seem to be clinging to the ADHD possibility as a silver bullet but if you've spoken to several professionals and havent got a diagnosis, its likely not that but also if it is that what will change.

    I really think you need to looking into a mindset shift and changing from a very closed mindset to an open one. It will open doors and opportunities you would never have seen before.

    Use the opportunities your degree gives you. You have mentioned liking the people you work with so look into travelling abroad and teaching or something. Cause at the moment you really need to get out of the funk you're in and only you can do that.



  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    If you are leaning towards kitchen work, and your mother is in the industry, could she use her contacts to give you some experience? I know back in the very depths of time I worked potwash but helped out chefs as needed. That way you get a taste of real life cheffing, but you haven't wasted your time investing in formal training if it turns out that it's something you hate after all. But it sounds like you have an interest in good food, you thrive on quick paced work and it actually might be what suits you, so if she could arrange some work experience for a few weeks somewhere that would settle that career option one way or the other.

    She may have her reservations because she knows how hard the industry and the job can be, and she knows you very well enough to guess as to whether you'd be a good fit for a job, but mammies aren't experts.. My mother insisted that I'd suit certain careers but the one that she said I'd never do well at, I'm doing and I really love my job.





  • You have achieved an amazing amount of qualification and experience for your years, so be proud of that. I’m 61, a retired public servant who mostly hated my working life, but at least I have my pension. Like you I am fairly certain I have undiagnosed adhd, as in spite of being intelligent & creative I’ve a very poor attention span, indecisive about what direction I ever want to take, have very poor sleeping pattern, always ruminating, worrying, and have two eyes that look in two different directions. My mother always said she was certain I was born with adhd, as I rarely slept as a baby, always on to the next thing without following through. However I know I have great abilities and a more flexible way of thinking than average, which is my trump card.

    I learned to fly light aircraft, but had to give that up due to eyesight issues. But I have that ability which I can occasionally use if I go on a joy flight with a qualified instructor, and I’m let loose to conduct the whole flight much as a learner driver has to be accompanied by a fully licensed driver these times.

    I took to travelling unusual places, have chalked up some very interesting trips to places many people have never heard of or know little about. I’ve tried an awful lot of things, including rally driving, hovercrafting, helicopter lessons, all except a parachute jump, wish I could pluck up the courage… but maybe not!

    At this stage of my life I accept that I tend to flit from thing to thing but I make that my strength, I know about how a lot of things happen, how they are done.

    Maybe getting yourself a diagnosis would help you cope in that you might forgive yourself your tendency to be often refocused and sometimes hyper-focused. There’s room for all of us on this planet.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 116 ✭✭yermanthere


    As said before, You have achieved. Most things in your career path will be like your degree. Long hours of work to get to where you want to be. But that doesn't reduce their importance, in fact it shows that these things take time and effort.

    Travel. It will teach you resilience and independence and give you perspective. With respect to your mother, whatever job you have in your mid 20's will not define your career on returning from your travels.

    Pick a type of job that you want to do. Do not make your decision based on salary/location/your perception of its future. If you do something that deep down you feel is rewarding (and be honest with yourself about your internal needs . Are they money/helping others/ self-esteem/ career trajectory. There are no wrong answers to yourself), you will progress and improve yourself.

    As an aside, all those Pilots, Presidents, Professors, Business owners are just people. Who decided that they would be brave and go for what they wanted, and were prepared to put the long hours in to get it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 350 ✭✭backwards_man


    Some good advice from other posters. I would add that if getting out of the family home is your main goal for now just focus on that. In the absence of having a grá for any particular job at the moment, I would get the job that will pay you the most, whatever it is and start saving. Contact a recruitment agency and just start interviewing. You wont last 4 years in an aprentice job that you dont want. It will mentally not be healthy. Make a plan that in 1 yr from now you will have X amount saved to go travelling with. Your motivation on a Monday morning can be planning your trip, research where hou want to go. Get out of the family home, see some of the world and open your horizons. You have quite a negative outlook and dont seem to find joy in anything, but you do seem to have the ability to make friends easily so make the most of that. You are 25, go out and find some enjoyment in life instead of living too much in your head.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I started my current career at 29. At 25 I didn't even have a degree so you're ahead of where I was then. It can take time to find what you want. Don't stress over it.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Apiarist


    At least you are trying different things, this is good. Many people would just continue working in a job they hate for years and years. There are millions of jobs out there, try something unexpected. Maybe you want to go Korea and teach schoolchildren English?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭blackbox


    I'm not saying you should stick with the electrician role forever, but you would be mad to give it up before you decide what you would really like to do.

    It's giving you pocket money and keeping you occupied - much better than moping in your bedroom.

    You've only been at it a short while. You might actually get to enjoy it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36,895 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    Get a decent job on a cruise ship and sail the oceans.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,238 ✭✭✭hoodie6029


    Hi OP,

    I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation 15 plus years ago.

    The societal expectation of LC, College, (optional grand tour of SE Asia and Australia), career, marriage, house, kids, retire is crushing in your 20’s. ‘There is no alternative, you must just do this’ is all I heard.

    There is an alternative, you are free to do whatever you want. If the apprenticeship isn’t for you, your employer might be pissed off but they’ll be happier in the long run that you did it now and not 2+ years in.

    Get on to recruiters and employment agencies and see if you can get temp work, you don’t need to commit to anything long term now.

    Try your hand in kitchens, sounds like you’ve the aptitude for it. It’s an in demand occupation at moment and great life skill to have at the very least. If you don’t like it, again, you know what to do.

    It would be a good one to have some experience in as you can take that skill all over Europe, you’ll get by in the resorts with English.

    You are young and free and there is no obligation on you to act like your peers or how parents want you to act.

    If career etc route suits them, that’s fine for them, doesn’t mean it’s for you or how you are approaching life is wrong.

    Your parents will probably push back as they may have the urge to have you ‘settled’ but that more about them than it is about you. You need to plough your own furrow and they need to trust you in that.

    You’ve talked yourself down, which is understandable given your current situation. But you’ve nothing to feel down about, graduating college is a fantastic achievement and you’ve done that with flying colours. You must be well able to interview well having secured part time and full time work. That’s another great skill to have.

    You’ve a lot going for yourself OP, keep reminding yourself of that and grab the life that you want.

    This is water. Inspiring speech by David Foster Wallace https://youtu.be/DCbGM4mqEVw?si=GS5uDvegp6Er1EOG



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    I've applied for a couple of hardware stores/builders merchants and the like so I'll see if anything does bite!

    I absolutely do love bomb hobbies, it's probably not at all healthy but it's the one consistent thing about me - I get intensely passionate, or I never take it up in the first place. The only reason I'm anyway competent on the guitar is I got obsessive about it after hearing Eric Claptons Layla, and then again with John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.

    Honestly that sounds like the route, get a job I at least don't hate and don't expect to sort anything out beyond that, but use the time to figure things out..



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze



    I often wonder if they use hate correctly there.. My friend hated school, did he show up most days? Yep, because that's where his friends were and that's where he had to go.. He hated parts of school (teachers, homework), but he enjoyed PE, the craic and Art class. I find it very hard to believe anyone can truly do something they hate in the literal sense everyday.. that's just mad to me.

    I've thought about TEFL and the JET programme, I thought about it for awhile and I just don't really see it as being for me, as cool as the idea may sound.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    My mother left years ago, she's an SNA now (and loves it), she really talks of her time with nothing but contempt.

    It's been a running joke between us that any time we're in the kitchen I'll say 'maybe I should become a chef!' which is met with laughter from here.

    Like I think tattoo artists have a cool job, could I do it? No, would I like to? honestly no.

    But I have some desire to become a chef.. I don't know why.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    OP, I was once like you. Let me tell you that you are at real risk of becoming 'useless' - i.e. a person with no skills, plan, drive, ambition, or achievements (which is probably why you don't have a relationship, either; because you have nothing to offer). You're only 25 - but before you know it you'll be 30 and have squandered so much time that you'll forever be trying to catch up.

    You need to put yourself out there and take a few risks. You won't make anything of yourself doing as you're doing. You need to set a few goals for yourself, whether that be the accumulation of money, fitness targets, the acquisition of a martial art such as BJJ (very good for ADHD sufferers BTW). Basically anything to put in place a goal-seeking mechanism in your mind.

    A change of scene would probably do you good too, so if I were you I would move abroad and put myself into sink or swim mode. The chances are that you will swim, when you have to.

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 56 ✭✭purpleshoe


    Hi OP,

    Is this you from a few years back, a lot of similarities.

    Look, I think you need to work with what you have. The cycle you are in will mean a life of just existing, while you chase the perfect job.

    As suggested above get a hobby that really sparks your interest/enthusiasm. You’d be suprised with how much you can focus on the job when you have a passion in your life.

    For most of us, a job is a means to an end. There is nothing wrong with that especially when it allows to live a life.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,378 ✭✭✭mojesius


    Based on your posts, I suggest going back to retail as it's a job you seemed happy in, and saving with a view to go abroad for a year or two.

    I did similar at your age after a few meandering college/job choices and 15 years later, I look back and am so glad I did. I met lots of interesting people from different backgrounds/ages and really got comfortable in my own skin. Those memories will stay with me forever. I also came back to Ireland without a plan in the depths of the recession but things worked themselves out!

    Your degree and experience will stand to you eventually but no need to put yourself under such pressure to find the dream job right now. You need to be kinder to yourself and have an adventure.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 701 ✭✭✭farmerval


    That is a lovely post that sums up having ADHD really well.

    OP why not go back to retail? Aldi and Lidl pay I think 11.50 or 12.50 an hour. It need not be for life, just for now. Someone very close to me has ADD and getting a diagnosis was a great help. Getting onto medication helped them hugely. Ironically that guy has worked the last year in retail and also loved it.

    If you have ADHD maybe accept that flitting around as recode says is part of the package. Accepting that a certain amount of turmoil is normal for you could be a good thing.

    p.s. if you think you're the only person that bought a bike or an indoor trainer etc and never used them; Ha Ha Ha. We all did and all lived to tell the tale. All those things are as normal as breathing. If you do have ADHD or one of it's variants you quite likely have a very enquiring mind and a strong likelihood to jump into things without much thought.

    I went to college when I was 40 and started a new career then, several of my siblings did similarly, now is only now, there is an endless amount of things you could do at any stage of your life, maybe stop torturing yourself that every step now has to have some grand long term plan attached. Maybe now can just be what makes you happy now.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Paul on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 330 ✭✭cezanne


    I think doing some volunteer work for people worse off than you might make you see how well off you really are, far too many people define themselves by their work and what they do and when the work is gone they are nothing.

    Do things that you enjoy every so often stop agonizing about work. No dying patient ever said they wish they had worked more in fact they all said they wished they had spent more time with people being human rather than slavery.

    Be nice to yourself and do things, simple things that make you happy we are not all born with the amercan dedicated slave mentality, you are blessed not to be. I wish you luck the previous poster sounds like a life well lived if he had only realised that the work mentality stole a big portion of his life.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Vlove


    I too hated college and didn’t even bother going to the graduation. I was unemployed after a year and a half until I got this Marketing assistant internship. Maybe try out a WWEP scheme job for 6 months (that’s the norm) and see what you think?



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