Returning to Ireland after 19 years - Stressed and Worried

khobar

Hi all,

I would really appreciate some help, even comfort, as I will be returning to Ireland next year after leaving in 2004.

About me - male, mid 40s, married with 1 child who is 10. Lived in a few countries but for the last 7 years lived in the Middle East. However, for the last 4 years my wife and kid had to live away from me (in the wife’s home country) for my child’s education, as the quality was very low, where I was living in the ME. A year ago we decided I would give up my very well-paid job to reunite as a family and we since moved to the UK (August 2021) for me to undertake some postgraduate studies. I have now successfully completed my studies, however there has been a change of plan, as I no longer want to go into the field of my studies (teaching). We will stay in the UK though for another year, as I do not want to move my child again, as I want her to finish Year 6 with her friends. After that, we will return home to be near family (South East) as there will be nothing keeping us here.

Now here’s an honest summary of my situation.

I’ll be 46 next year, no assets, no investments, no debt and will be moving to Ireland with about 350 grand euro in the bank.

Have some qualifications (master’s+postgrad in Education) but all of my experience has been abroad.

Wife is Asian, speaks 3 languages and has qualifications too but has been a housewife since my child was born.

Until we move back to Ireland, the wife and I will hopefully be able to do some temporary jobs until then in the UK.

What I am really worried and stressed about is the fact I have not worked in Ireland for almost 20 years. At my age, is getting a fairly low stress office job feasible or even working for the civil service? I am not too bothered about the salary and will not be terribly ambitious but I would like something that is stable, where there is a reasonably positive office environment.

I thought about buying a 2 bedroom apartment outright (after checking out the usual apartment pitfalls) and would then have a fair cushion left over. Once my wife and I are working for a year and a half to 2 years, we could then upgrade to a house, take out something like a 10-year mortgage and rent out the apartment to pay the majority of the loan. I know apartments have property management fees along with paying a real estate agent to manage the property but these expenses can be written off against income tax.

Part of me thinks I should have stayed in the Middle East for another 3 years and then moved back to Ireland. However, I’d have missed out on even more time with my family, missing the formative years of my child growing up, which I could never get back. I hadn’t seen both of them for over a year and a half due to Covid. Also my parents are in their 70s now and have told us they wish we could return home tomorrow and I intend to move as close to them as possible. I’ll also need to take a driving test/lessons when I get back, as I only have an international driver’s license (aiming for 2024). I am very stressed about it all but feel like I need to get the ball rolling now as early as possible, before making the move at the end of July 2023.

Are my worries/plans for the future dumb or unrealistic?

Any advice, thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated as on the one hand I am extremely stressed, worried and have regrets about giving up my job last year (a job which was quite pressurized, stressful and toxic at times). On the other hand, I am also quite excited about the thought of moving back and being back nearer family again and getting my daughter involved in all sorts of clubs and activities in the local Community, along with finally owning our own place.

Spear

This has no relation to boards.ie. Try asking in a forum that's related to the topic instead, such as the Coming Home forum:

https://www.boards.ie/categories/coming-home