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Ex owes me money

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 130 ✭✭babynice


    Yes that’s him. I agree. Definitely there was a lack of boundaries in the relationship, unfortunately I fell for all his lies and mind games and somehow thought there was a nice person there somewhere. I haven’t loaned money to anyone else apart from him as I generally wouldn’t but he really got into my head.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    Well, never a good idea to lend money to someone with addition issues…

    You will never get that money back so the best thing you can do is to avoid it happening again.

    The reason I had brought this up was because money also seemed to be an issue in your last relationship you sought advice on.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 130 ✭✭babynice


    Yes well worth it to have him out of my life. I’m not really hurt over the relationship anymore because I’m no longer with him and haven’t been in a long time and am no longer in contact with him. I am hurt about how he treated me but I’m able to deal with it. I think I got particularly annoyed about the money this week because a friend of mine saw him out drinking and he claims to have no money but can afford the pub or potentially drugs.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 130 ✭✭babynice


    True I agree it was crazy to give him the money but he is very aggressive when he wants something. I was not thinking straight at the time. You’re right that money is gone. The last relationship was about money owed for a trip that I cancelled but I got that back. But I agree with your point about boundaries certainly something to work on before another potential relationship.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,277 ✭✭✭km991148


    Then every time there is a reminder of that period in your life and you get annoyed just use it as a moment to thank your lucky stars that it's not your life anymore. Focus on yourself and that deep knowledge that you done the right thing. Even lending the money wasn't that bad as ultimately you were acting with good intentions for the relationship. Just work on spotting what a better relationship is in the future.

    2.5k is nothing in the long run, especially when things go wrong.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,404 ✭✭✭1874


    Fairly Unanimous I'd say, I had to write some small amounts from friends/co-workers, I think about 3 instances, small amounts but annoying, wasn't worth the hassle. I got stiffed for a fair few thousands by one tenant, but was happier to get rid of the person and in the end be done with renting out a place. In my head I wrote off the money, especially the latter.

    In all cases there was obvious spending where the person couldn't afford x so needed a loan or grace for paying for their essential needs, but could afford bookies, drinking, holidays, phones, basically many of the things I didn't have the money for or wouldn't spend on till my own basic needs/debts were paid or in hand.

    Some people do the rounds, they put the hand out to one person or people until they bleed it dry or the funder cuts off the funding, then they move on to the next person, others are just appalling at managing their own finances and can never sort out their spending/debts.

    Be glad this person is out of your life and do your best to forget the money, its a fair few quid if you're stuck for it, but it is wasted time and energy to deal with a person like that again to try recover, it would just bring them back into your life. Personally I'd write it off, as many others have said, be grateful to yourself you had the sense to get away from them and put an end to it, never let them back.



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