Are these red flags in a prospective new housemate?

Yeah. I’m pretty scared to be honest and don’t know how I’ll get rid of her. Literally lying here awake thinking of my options.

But I also don’t really want people accusing me of it being a wind up or other unhelpful comments so as far as the post on here goes I’m going to leave it.

lawred2

I've been in a toxic house share before.. the urge to get out can be overwhelming. You met her in person and you liked her. That's what you should go on.

The multiple messages is likely a consequence of the network trying to send messages to what is basically a phone that's switched off.

I use DND mode at night time.. airplane mode is somewhat drastic. Sure you might as well switch the phone off as have it in airplane mode.

Big Bag of Chips

sparklinglens, as this is an accommodation/housemate issue maybe you'd get more appropriate replies in The Accommodation and Property Forum.

lawred2

My response is well out of date I see.. apologies

silver2020

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538628#Comment_118538628

100% agree.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538636#Comment_118538636

Scared why?

Big Bag of Chips

@fritzelly @silver2020 if you have an issue with a post or poster please PM a moderator. List of Moderators is found the The Forum Charter.

Commenting on thread is off topic.

Pussyhands

OP, take it from me, this is a red flag and I would not pick this person based on their behaviour.

This is the type of person that'll be nagging you every 5 minutes about something. "can the landlord clean the leaves from the back garden", "can the landing light be turned off at night", "can people not leave cooked meat in the fridge". They'll take over or have their partner in the whole time.

Take this from someone who has had rotating house shares for a long time.

The way I do the viewing is I tell everyone that I have X days of viewings. Once they're done, we'll decide on someone and then we'll text everyone to let them know. I tell them they'll definitely receive a text either way by say 8pm Friday. Yet people still text on the Thursday asking if a decision has been made and if they got the room.

Another offputting thing is when I put in the ad no phonecalls, only texts as I get such volume of calls I can't keep track of who's viewing at what time. So whenever someone calls me that's an immediate no. If they can't read an ad, imagine living with that person.

reading this thread (but not commenting) until now. I think I read a previous thread the same poster started. Its a pity the poster has now decided to leave thread on foot of some very good advice. Maybe they don't want to face reality. The issue is more than likely with them and not with the new lodger. She just sounds a bit mad but nothing out of the ordinary. I'd imagine that's part and parcel of what happens when you look for a lodger, you'd need to have a thick skin and a good bit of tolerance and perspective. I'm sure its not for everyone, it wouldn't be for me. But at least I recognize that as MY issue.

I love my space, I'd go mad with noise levels, people rabbiting on about being psycho and issues with their previous flatmates, landlords, employers etc. I wouldn't want to know. Other people are probably fine with that. I think you need to know YOURSELF very well before you decide to share your house with other people. If the situation was reversed that new lodger girl could think the owner was the one to be anxious about!

Hi, OP here. As lovely as it is to have had people tell me I am somehow the issue here? Last night my suspicions and gut feeling were confirmed. This girl is nuts and I need to find a way to get her out of my house.

I don’t want to get into the details but she openly told me she has a criminal record and spent the night telling outlandish stories, probably lies. She also brought her cat to the bathroom and had a rant at him about her manager. Oh, and her best friend of two weeks is her only friend and she’s worried that I am going to take her cat from her. She said it’s been on her mind since she moved in. Her last housemate is currently harassing her for non payment of rent, which she claims is a lie. We clicked when we first met as she had all the same interests as me and works in the same type of job as me. Now I’m wondering if that was all a lie.

There was lots more but I’m keeping it brief, that’s the update. She is crazy and my anxiety was there for a reason. Currently considering my options in how I’m going to get her out.

Faith

OP, you've had problems with housemates before. It would be very well worth speaking to a therapist to explore why you're initially attracted to the people who go on to cause lots of trouble for you ("We clicked straight away", etc). You met this girl, you liked her, you ignored red flags, you invited her to move in and now you're surprised that it hasn't worked out. You may not be the only issue, but you are a part of the issue and it's going to be important for you to recognise that.

Best of luck, I hope the situation resolves quickly.

Big Bag of Chips

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538655#Comment_118538655

@[Deleted User] Personal Issues is not the forum you need. I refer to my above post. If you require further advice, I suggest you ask in a more appropriate forum.