People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

Ubbquittious

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-have-been-having-less-sex-whether-theyre-teenagers-or-40-somethings/

This is really terrible news. You might blame covid but this study only looks at the 10 years before the pandemic. I dont understand why people would eschew something as nice as sex in order to look at some pixels changing colour on a screen. I really hope that after covid dissipates that there will be a huge rebound in partying and shagging for the sake of peoples mental health

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058225794/people-have-been-having-less-sex-whether-they-re-teenagers-or-40-somethings

I don't see what the problem is. If people are losing interest in sex, it logically follows that they'll on the whole be having either less sex or no sex.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415041#Comment_118415041

People are eschewing sex to live in a fake virtual world of pixels changing colour. Quite sad really

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415099#Comment_118415099

Whereas a fake world of alcoholism, unplanned pregnancies, STI's and Tinder is clearly utopia?

thefallingman

i blame fake tan and trout pout lips

JoChervil

Well OP, it's not so clear which is an egg and which is a hen in that scenario.

I think people lost interest in meaningless sex, like casual sex. Also they no longer release emotional tension through sex because many people on the receiving end don't allow them to be used for it. And there are many other options for releasing it like being heard on social media, or going to gym etc.

I believe it will develop in this direction: pure physiological sex will be left for realistically made sex dolls of all kinds and only meaningful sex will be experienced with people, when there will be enough emotional connection for it.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415113#Comment_118415113

What does that have to do with sex? Surely casual sex after a night on the beer is a minority among ALL sexual activities.

The study doesn't differentiate between casual sex and monogamous sex.

Honestly, I'd agree that most people seem happier watching Netflix than going out and meeting people. From my own limited pool of friends, most spend their time watching one screen or another instead of face-to-face contact.

I definitely think the increase in porn, Instagram, image obsession in general, has given people unrealistic expectations for a partner. The "me too" movement seems to cut both ways, with men less likely to make any advancement on women, and women more likely to reject advancement.

The birth rate is falling all over the world, having children is less appealing and governments are disincentivizing it, whether intentionally or not.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415215#Comment_118415215

Well, the way most people pursue casual sex in my experience is nightclubs. Drunk people often act unwisely and, when it comes to sex, this can lead to unintended consequences. If we're operating at such a reductionist level that we're talking about pixels on screen, this seemed appropriate.

I feel like if governments waned to stop people having children without draconian legislation, this'd have been the way to do it. I feel like anyone without wealthy parents realistically won't be having more than one at the most and even that would be a significant struggle for most people.

OP, I forgot to ask why this is "really terrible news". Please elaborate on this if you would.

FintanMcluskey

A behavioral scientist chap called John B.Calhoun did loads of behavorial tests on mice living in conditions where all basics were plentiful eg food, water, comfortable environments. A simulation of people born into Westen societies.

What he found was that when the population of mice reached a certain level, a significant proportion, both male and female, withdrew from social interaction and spent all their timing grooming themselves, until their appearances were perfect. He called these the beautiful ones.

They had no interest in sex for some bizarre reason, only grooming and the males spent as long as the females maintaining their personal appearance.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415269#Comment_118415269

Sure, I get ya. STIs, unwanted pregnancies etc have always been there, probably less so since contraception is widely available.

I suppose maybe a lot of people have found ways to replace sex, or are just fulfilled in different ways. Again, some of my friends just can't be arsed with getting a partner, and all of the presumed hassle it would cause. People are busier with work, education, hobbies (even if the hobby is Netflix) and having someone else that needs attention might be an unwanted distraction.

I'd add that a majority of Irish are putting off families because of job and housing market. Hard to envisage having a baby while you're starting your career and living at home.

EmmetSpiceland

A lot of men, particularly online, come across as incredibly angry these days. Especially those in the over 35s bracket. Maybe if they were “getting some” they mightn’t be so frustrated?

I guess when you equate “masculinity” with right wing politics, misogyny and anything that pollutes the atmosphere you’re never really going to be attracting a mate.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415846#Comment_118415846

I would say in line with the rise of widespread internet use.

When was the last time anyone was bored? Like actually bored for a protracted length of time. Rarely if ever, since you have a constant source of entertainment and distraction in your pocket that didn't really exist in 2009.

I'm equating "busy" as being busy with something, including watching online content.

Hard to remember, but the iPhone only came out in 2007. James Bond didn't have a smartphone in Quantum of Solace 2008.

I'd be inclined to have a look at the rise in social anxiety, online bullying, and the more transient nature of human interaction. I'd say it follows closely to the decrease in sex statistics.

I Blame Sheeple

Reminds of the movie with Sylvester Stallone and the chick who wants to have VR sex with him.

BattleCorp1

I blame porn.

Unless she's pegging me with something the size of a fire extinguisher, sawing at my nipples with a hacksaw, and clattering my nuts with a lump hammer, I just can't climax.

Richard Hillman

Testosterone is plummeting in men. The lower the testosterone, the less attractive to women.

Women just have get used to sharing their highly testosteroned men with other women.

wench

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118417310#Comment_118417310

We have a rota, it's fine.

BrianD3

"Adolescents reports less solo masturbation" - that could be the most significant and fundamental finding here. Societal and lifestyle changes would be expected to influence the amount of sex people are having but masturbation is obviously a much more basic act. Lower testosterone? Influence of nofap idiots? Masturbating about women now regarded as "toxic masculinity" or some sort of thought crime?

riclad

It's hard to chat up a woman we are supposed to be woke and politically correct and not be sexist in any way. Some people will have unrealistic expectations from looking at people on instagram who look great using various filters . also there's plenty of free porn to look at and theres endless media to consume on tik Tok YouTube streaming apps.

I presume young people mostly meet up using dating apps not in a random pub or cafe

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419532#Comment_118419532

I think the unrealistic expectations is the issue here. Especailly with dating apps because they tend to be very looks-orientated.

The woke/politicially correct thing is a bit of a misnomer. The people who fall into that catergory tend not to go for one-night stands and the people who don't tend to pick up on it and move on to someone else.

riclad

Or maybe women are looking for the perfect man who looks like a handsome, actor or influencer and there's always someone on tinder who looks better than the bloke who works in a phone shop Tesco

NSAman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419576#Comment_118419576

Or the guy who works down the chip shop who swears he’s Elvis ?

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415269#Comment_118415269

Taken altogether it will become terrible news as the population starts to fall due to lack of children being born.

This is a far deeper problem than flippancy about casual sex or STI's.

There is an anti child bearing dynamic at work which is demographically very dangerous.

People will have to have more children or the population will decline and there will be ever less numbers of productive young people to support older people.

China is going through this disaster right now after it's idiotic one child policy, Japan has been fighting a losing battle for 20 years and now seems to have an entire generation of incels on it's hands while continental Europe is already teethering.

Birth rates across the board are falling below the needed replacement rate for those old, sick and dying.

People are not having enough children.

That is going to be a massive problem for society in the future.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419956#Comment_118419956

The OP was about having less sex, not about having children. People getting into relationships who know they want children are going to have them. People having less casual sex probably isn't an issue and this implied to be the focus of the OP.

As for having children, the population can't keep increasing forever. The planet can't take it and neither can the welfare state. Human beings are pretty bad for the environment and a managed population decline is probably a boon. There are various reasons that some countries are seeing lower rates of childbirth and getting more equal and developed is one of them. People are having less sex because the interest is falling. Nothing is stopping them.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419532#Comment_118419532

Ignore the whole woke thing. Don't be too political correct yet don't show any extreme views or disrespect to anyone. I would say being a people-pleasing pushover who won't express his own opinions in fear of not being woke enough is far more of a turn off than someone who occasionally mutters "yerrah feck the whole woke movement"

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419984#Comment_118419984

Its true that it's not about having children but an increase in the amount of casual sex can correlate to an overall decline in the amount of sex had

Back in the day it was common to get married in your 20s, have lots of sex with your spouse rather than spending years being single and depending on getting lucky in the pub for a shag. Increasing age of first marriage probably accounts for some of the decline and not all. Pixels, silicon and tech moguls are also to blame

AckwelFoley

Fake world or fake orgasam.

Everything in moderation.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118420609#Comment_118420609

I don't think they're to blame. It's just this generation's iteration of the perennial chimera that is going to ruin society. Previously, it's been novels, rock music, television and videogames.

I think it's great that people don't feel compelled to force themselves into situations where they're miserable just so they might meet someone. Maybe we should look at why Netflix, Youtube, social media or whatever are more attractive propositions than sitting in a crap pub on the off chance you might meet someone.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118419544#Comment_118419544

I've tried two apps and I found them dire. That said, the moaning about woke or whatever nonsense comes across as being very bitter.

I think back to the 90,s when i was younger there was no internet to speak off, no Netflix, computer games not up to much etc. when the weekend came everyone was out in the pubs and nightclubs meeting their friends and the opposite sex. If you sat in the house back then on a Saturday night what did you do? It was boring as hell.

Now younger people have so many more option for entertainment that doesn’t involve leaving the house. Same for adults too. It must be having an influence on the numbers.

I Blame Sheeple

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118420961#Comment_118420961

Not chasing women doesn't equate to a lack of confidence. It could be a thousand other issues but I think social media is playing a big part of it. I know that I sometimes worry that what I say to a woman will eventually end up in a group chat and from there go on to TikTok/Instagram/Snapchat for ridicule by everyone. It's happened before and I'm sure it won't be the last time but it makes approaching people very daunting sometimes.

conorhal

You know what an absense of libido tends to be a symptom of?

Depression.

You only have to look at the absolute soaring rates of depression and anxiety amongst teens these days to see where some of this is coming from, the number of people on happy pills, including children, over the last decade has become frightening.

Potential-Monke

Oh it's coming (pun intended) up 6 years now since I last had sex. Mainly due to me not bothering, but there are a few other things which gives me no reason to even try:

• The effort usually isn't worth the payoff
• I'm not what women look for physically
• I'm 38 and don't want kids, so the pickings are slimmer than usual at this age point
• I adore me time
• I can't do small talk
• I have my own idea of what I would like, and it rarely matches real life
• I'm not in a housing position to invite people over
• I dislike most things that most other people like (sport, concerts, drinking, exercise)

Now, if you can show me where the single, appropriate for my age, gaming women who don't want kids hang out, then I'll head there right this minute. But I'm not going through the rigmarole of pretending to care about stuff I don't care about in the hope that someone will find me attractive enough to let me be inside of them. To me, the effort is not worth the risk/reward. I may be single for the rest of my life, then so be it. I'm happier, and I have plenty of friends in relationships and with kids to remind me I'm making the better choice! I've also had enough rejection in my life to last me 2 lifetimes, there comes a point where being rejected again is worse than not trying.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424011#Comment_118424011

I have a secret cache of them if you are interested, drop a pm. I would be delighted to help pair someone up

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118416272#Comment_118416272

EDIT: Ooops, quoted the wrong post. Meant to quote Potential-Monke

Few years younger but similar boat here. And listening to friends in LTRs and the nonsense and tongue-biting they have to do, no thanks. I let them know the alternative is pretty **** but I'm not arsed with massive upheaval to swap one **** situation for another.

Sunny Disposition

People even masturbating less, very strange. Surely, from a male point of view, there is nothing more pleasurable than ejaculation?

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424603#Comment_118424603

Ah feck it not always. I get way more enjoyment out of a good long session & I would be trying to prolong it as much as possible and enjoying the sensations. But I realise I could be in the minority here as for a lot of fellas it appears to be mainly about emptying d'auld bag.

Amadan Dubh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058225794/people-have-been-having-less-sex-whether-they-re-teenagers-or-40-somethings

Ambitious trying to stimulate a discussion of this type on boards where you can bet a lot of the posters fall into the category of involuntarily underactive in the bedroom.

I think it's terrible and, married to a German, being in nude saunas and (depending who's asking) experiencing a sex club on one occasion so far, I think the Irish are just uncomfortable with their natural urges.

Amadan Dubh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118422201#Comment_118422201

This is a good point and to add to it, suicides have been dramatically increasing in teens the last ten years correlated to the rise in the use of online social media. We have far more suicides in teens than we have covid deaths in this age group but mental illness does not get the same gung ho treatment which is scandalous and dismaying. These social media platforms are largely unregulated as well yet there is no strong push to reign them in.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424690#Comment_118424690

Yea before I made the thread I was well aware I'd get a few responses that basically boil down to "duh, being alone in your bedsit with a bowl of koka noodles looking at pixels is definitely better than sex"

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424701#Comment_118424701

It would be nice if you went to the trouble of elaborating on the problem rather than just pasting a link. If you're not going to put in the effort to make a compelling argument, it follows that nobody else is going to do it for you.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424701#Comment_118424701

Funny, I was also aware it was going to have loads of people posting and saying how people who don't get regular sex must be incels or some other stereotype given to those who don't get to be as blessed at pulling.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424706#Comment_118424706

Well lots of posters have already added their own theories and I would say there is a degree of truth to many of them. Lots of factors are at play here and unfortunately I don't possess the magic chemtrail dust to get people shagging like rabbits like before. All I can do is throw on Loveshack by the B52s at the odd party and hope people take the hint

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424721#Comment_118424721

That is a nuisance. "Incels" are one of the last social groups that you can openly ridicule and lambast.

I am hoping that after covid there will be a huge backlash against the whole social distancing nonsense and people will go mad partying altogether but I'm not counting on it

Sex drive largely parallels mood, and whatever lowers the mood will almost certainly lower the libido, be it a psychological or physiological trigger.

In men it is said sex drive decreases with age when testosterone drops. In women this is not at all necessarily true, in fact when estrogen decreases in older females the relatively high amount of testosterone can trigger an increased sexual appetite akin to that thought of as being found in younger males. Once in general good health, older females can be fairly randy and quite ready for sex any time, though it is a ridiculous aberration of nature considering reproduction is unlikely, and impossible after menopause.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118415099#Comment_118415099

After an intial honeymoon period of 3 or 4 years with great sex, I made the awful mistake of building my ex a computer capable of running World of Warcraft. That was the end of our sex life, and ultimately the end of the relationship.

screamer

Sure there’s feck all new in that OP. Have you never heard the old comment - sure they must have no telly in that house? The correlation between screen watching and sex ( procreation in times past) has been there for years. Just a different screen now and better birth control

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424721#Comment_118424721

I actually meant to quote your post earlier rather than the one I did. I also forgot to add something along the lines of "Even though you've said several negative things about yourself, be careful because any suggestion that maybe the gender you're interested in are in any way causative makes you a vile misogynist".

There's a number of obvious things at play:

Depression and stress. Yeah we should have none thanks to modern conveniences but we do. I could still bang out 5 **** in a day if I wanted to but the idea of weeks of talking to someone putting on a front before they give me the privilege of meeting in person is quite different. And it's different for different genders, I'm under no illusions that plenty of guys have fucked over plenty of girls as well but I can only go by what I see and hear.

Oestrogen mimicking compounds are everywhere. They're **** up fish populations all over the place but we're to believe it has no effect on us. But of course. Such stupidity. They lead to falling testosterone.

On falling testosterone; who you're around influences your hormones and men and women now spend an awful lot more time around each other than they used to. I'd be amazed if there isn't a correlation observable across different cultures and time.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424816#Comment_118424816

Are you saying that men & women being around each other a lot a tidally makes for lack of libido in the presence of each other? Interesting theory, like male & female siblings are ordinarily not attracted to each other due to familiarity. Interestingly I grew up in a neighbourhood where I was surrounded by lads, and I only really half-fancied one although I desisted having a relationship as to me it would have felt like incest. I think I subconsciously switched off my full desire.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424845#Comment_118424845

It's not necessarily that direct of a effect but spending more time around women is known to lower men's testosterone levels and lower testosterone levels are linked to lower libido in men.

I wouldn't be overly surprised if it works the other way around too but women's hormones are more complicated and the cause of libido level is more opaque with women.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118424854#Comment_118424854

In my case during menstrual years my libido changed according to cycle, and I believe this is a widespread phenomenon. However in my case things were very complicated because I had a serious chronic illness, which has been cured by major surgery. Since surgery and menopause my libido is nearly constantly good, and always ready to be flicked into action. In most instances women have a different pattern of arousal and orgasm which favours a slow build-up and a desire to prolong the fore play, then an orgasm which may not relieve desire and for which another build-up is desired, and the wind-down can be prolonged. If the libido is overwhelming on occasion it can lead to not being able to get a wind-down until multiple peaks have been reached. And during the wind-down there remains a desire for continued penetration. But sometimes the female pattern can be male-like, a short enough build-up to a moderate orgasm and an immediate desire to sleep after it 😂

starkid

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118420675#Comment_118420675

i mean lots say this, but any critical analysis, hell even fleeting browse of history and current trends, shows its gone way beyond the previous scapegoats. Novels have such a long and varied history, a few book burnings shouldn´t mean its included in the media. Rock music criticism and the hippy/right on culture was at times flippant nonsense, but also part of a culutral ¨misunderstanding¨ between a set of men who fought in 2-3 major wars and their offspring as well as other factors. TV and videogames for sure, but we´re in the same evolutionary timeline of that. the internet has clearly played a huge role in our society. for better and worse. its easier to gauge this as many of us have grown up in three spheres of it. people using commodores, xtra vision and dial ups for non boards chatrooms. we will probably only see the benefit when the first generation of young toddlers and nursing home patients are fully tech literate.

there is so many options for people that sex is just another long line of things. it will be common i´d imagine once we roll through another generation. Christmas, celebrations, sport all will be under threat for similar reasons. average age of premier league supporters has followed the same cohort since its inception. i.e the 24 year old fan of 1992 who is in this fifties now. the more choice there is the unhappier humans are. studies have shown this. sex is just another choice of things to do. in the past people were bored off their tits,or easily amused so sex became a thing to do. theres a reasons you got baby booms and spikes etc. is just a deeply cynical, self aware society and it makes sense this is happening. the internet rather than a chimera, is a pandoras box of information unfiltered, with no gatekeeper. people can turn it on and off at a tap.

Society is eating itself and peaking imo, and we need a massive intervention to stop it. We need thinkers, philopsphers, characters to emerge. now if anybody comes out to speak they are challenged off the podium and labeled. would a noam chomsky or the like be given the space today? probably not.

so i think its wrong to dismiss it as a chimera. its way deeper than that.

A browse through tinder will show you anecdotal evidence. i also have a few attractive female friends. all single, all searching for mr right and the best match, all that choice is actually damaging them and lulling them into their 50s and a deeply unhappy future. similar with bachelors i know. we all thought weren´t they a great laugh and so lucky. now in the late 30s its not really mentioned any more.

We´re going to have a huge set of deeply unhappy people. All because of the information, choice and illusion of¨freedom¨ that new technology has given us.

We can only hope as our society becomes fully tech literate we invent dark matter, cures for cancer, new social systems. because otherwise i think we´re fucked.

our society is also perhaps doomed by its peace. many of our greatest triumphs and advancements came from war and strife and yes death. years upon years of true global peace has perhaps resulted in a kink that needs to be rejigged.