Are you comfortable making remarks about girls to other males?

Brid Hegarty

Generally speaking Irish men don't seem to engage in this. It's quite hard for me not to... no more than if a good song comes on, or a nice car drives by, you'll comment on it. I've made this mistake a few times of saying something like "she's very good looking" to another guy and then just hearing a silence. I've sort of had to train myself not to do it.

However, there's a two foreign guys that I've worked with recently, and they're a lot more inclined to do it. They're also a lot less inclined to make derogatory or sexual remarks than the Irish would. They'll just say "she is very good looking" or "she is beautiful". And it's great being able to just talk about it, and not having to pretend you don't notice. I'm more comfortable sharing my thoughts about women with these two guys because I think it's a lot less likely to get back to them somehow.

maeve99

Might you have a bit of autism OP..lol.

In all seriousness, it's common in many male friend circles. I do think that Irish men seldom make comments in work as it can be construed as sexual harrasment.

It's interesting because a few Irish women I know say that catcalling is far worse in other countries (mainly in Southern Europe and in South American countries) than it is in Ireland. Irish men for the most part seem not to make those comments. When they're drunk, it's a different story.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117948757#Comment_117948757

Yeah, I've found quite the difference in say Italy or Spain compared to here on the obvious looks and comments of appreciation towards women from men.

Brid Hegarty

@maeve99 Might you have a bit of autism OP..lol.

What? You mean I'm autistic because I'm clever enough to to realise what people are more responsive to comments about women?

I do think that Irish men seldom make comments in work as it can be construed as sexual harassment.

Yes I'm talking about in work. But I'm talking about an environment where there wouldn't be any one else who'd hear, and nor would we ever have anything to do with the ladies we'd be commenting on. So that kind of makes all the difference. I just find it strange that Irish men (who are clearly straight) manage to not make any remark. I get the impression that I'm childish around such men for even making a comment. So yes, I keep my thoughts in check more depending on the person I'm working with.

Strumms

Yes, yes I’m comfortable with it... and girls make remarks about guys..no problems problem with a guy making a remark about a girl, . As long as it’s in good taste, a guy saying to a colleague.. “hey did you see the new girl Fiona in accounts, she’s pretty hot”.... no problem as it’s not when a couple of girls say the same or something in the same about say the courier Paul delivering their UPS every morning....

CreadanLady

Your right in your observations. I wouldn't say it is a uniquely irish thing though. And it would depend on the nature of the particular workplace. in any sort of professional workplace or an office environment, for men to be passing comments on women is playing with fire. You could land yourself in the height of trouble over it, and you don't want allegations of sexual or sexist stuff attached to your name. That stuff sticks. So anyone with an ounce of cop on doesn't do it. Although in every walk of life there are idiots without the cop on to know what is and is not acceptable conduct.

However, in other type workplaces, like say a building site or the army seemingly, you are likely to see a lot more boorish sexist comments and attitudes towards women.

Op, just don't think that you or anyone should be passing comments like that. You shoudl not. It is rude and sexist. It happens in Italy a lot but an awful lot of men are terrible creeps over there and think nothing of openly being creepy to random women on the street. It is disgusting.

Brid Hegarty

@CreadanLady Op, just don't think that you or anyone should be passing comments like that.

Comments like what? I think you misunderstand me. Is it out of order to say "she is a very good looking lady"? Does such a comment mean that the conversation is likely to soon turn south?

KaneToad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964543#Comment_117964543

Commenting on people's appearance/attractiveness, in a place of employment, is not the behaviour of an intelligent person.

CreadanLady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964543#Comment_117964543

I would say yes, it is out of order. It is also just a bit weird and creepy, especially to be saying in a workplace setting.

Arghus

It depends on who I'm talking too. I have friends who with I would never comment on a woman, as it just isn't part of the dynamic.

Then I know people who'll chat here and there about women - let's say if they see an absolutely stunning woman, it might come up in the conversation.

Then I know other fellas that will pass comment and ogle at every single woman within eyeshot. That can get a bit tiresome.

I wouldn't generally put my foot into it without having a good sense of who I was talking too first.

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964586#Comment_117964586

if it’s not creepy in a pub, your living room or a WhatsApp conversation with a friend, you working when saying it doesn’t make it creepy... shock horror but people can find each other attractive:)

Home : “ohh that girl Jenny who started in accounts today was seriously attractive/hot/cute

Work : “ ohh that girl Jenny who started in accounts today was seriously attractive/hot/cute

nothing out of order in that, some mind gymnastics going on here :)

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964586#Comment_117964586

The place I work as an average of 600 people on site daily, and all that involves several different companies. The ladies we'd be commenting on would never end up talking to us. I think that makes it a bit differ though.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964586#Comment_117964586

And would it still be creepy if it was outside the workplace?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058210498/are-you-comfortable-making-remarks-about-girls-to-other-males

They would likely comment to other men in the office but maybe don't trust you enough to comment.

SEPT 23 1989

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964584#Comment_117964584

That’s like something a programmed corporate robot would say not a human being

shawki

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117964642#Comment_117964642

Jesus would you seriously comment on any workmate Male/Female in any context in a WhatsApp conversation?

There is a million ways that could go wrong or be misunderstood. All it takes is one muppet to show someone part of a conversation out of context and you are straight into HR.

CreadanLady

@Brid Hegarty , welcome back Mr Fegeleine 😉

Apiarist

I would discuss women with my friends, but not at work. We do have many attractive women working in our company, but discussing the attractiveness of any particular person may be seen as objectifying the person and also may be upsetting to other people whose attractiveness does not merit a discussion.